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Apocalyptic Limerics

Don't Panic. There's Still Time To Write This Book!
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

But only a few days left. Here's one attempt:

There once was a temperate planet
And sentient species upon it
But one winter day
It all went away
The Mayans, they wrote it in granite

[marked-for-apocalyptic destruction]

theircompetitor, Dec 16 2012

Unsurpassable apocalyrics. http://www.youtube....watch?v=TIoBrob3bjI
[MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2012]

FAQs about 2012 http://www.famsi.or...stone/2012/faq.html
2012 Phemomenon: Blatently idiotic misrepresentation of the Mayan calendar by New Agers [spidermother, Dec 17 2012]

Mayan Limerick http://petenali.hub...merick-just-because
[xandram, Dec 17 2012]


       If the Mayans had been so great at seeing things coming, we'd still have Mayans.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2012

       And this year's award for Wilful Abuse of Scansion goes to...
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 16 2012

       //If the Mayans had been so great at seeing things coming, we'd still have Mayans.//   

       Damn you for pointing that out when I only have less than a week to smugly repeat it.
ytk, Dec 17 2012

       This end of the world, for the Maya
Did not guarantee a Messiah
Though Quatzequatel
Hey, pass me the bottle
Will bring his own brimstone and fire
theircompetitor, Dec 17 2012

       "There is nothing in the Maya or Aztec or ancient Mesoamerican prophecy to suggest that they prophesied a sudden or major change of any sort in 2012. The notion of a "Great Cycle" coming to an end is completely a modern invention." (Link)
spidermother, Dec 17 2012

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who said "12-21-12? Oh, f___ it!"
"There is nothing to fear,
they say this every year,
Nothing's going to hap............
phundug, Dec 17 2012

       There once was a planet in space
it was inhabited by a smart race
they numbered each day
until they all went away
that planets know numbers there's no trace.
rcarty, Dec 17 2012

       There once was a calendar mason
Who chiseled away while free basin'
And one day, on the cliff
He inscribed the wrong glyph
Thus the end of the world he did hasten
theircompetitor, Dec 17 2012

       That's the closest yet to a viable limerick.
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 17 2012

       The end of the world was predicted
And our life spans unfairly restricted.
It was blamed on the Mayans,
Those Mexican scions,
Who wanted the Spanish evicted.
DrBob, Dec 18 2012

       Er... that would be the Aztecs.
RayfordSteele, Dec 18 2012

       //If the Mayans had been so great at seeing things coming, we'd still have Mayans.//
Plenty of Mayans still. Go there and they will sell you trinkets, in my case a tie dye tee shirt with a image of Bob Marley tokin' a huge one.
sqeaketh the wheel, Dec 18 2012

       There once was a group of halfbakers
Philosophers, sinners and fakers
They assure that the end
Though the Mayans portend
Will come not from fire, but through makers
theircompetitor, Dec 18 2012

       //Er... that would be the Aztecs//

Not only but also.
DrBob, Dec 18 2012

       The end of the thirteenth baktun
Is believed by many a loon
To signify
The day we all die
A fear to which I feel immune

       (With thanks to rhyme zone online rhyming dictionary for help with the last line)
MechE, Dec 18 2012

       There was a tribe on the Yucatan,
stone carvers no one's better than.
They ended the calendar
on Year Salamander,
survive it the fuck you can.
baconbrain, Dec 18 2012

       Since we're talking about a pretty specific event, shouldn't it be 'thepocalypse' ?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2012

       Also, rather than a limerick, should we not be concentrating on apolcalypsos?
MaxwellBuchanan, Dec 18 2012

       Land of Maya, the nights are gay-a,
The blood flows daily on the temple top...
spidermother, Dec 18 2012

       It seems the Maya took pleasure in ripping open the chests of their victims and tearing out their still-beating hearts.   

       Some sort of ex-wives club, clearly.
8th of 7, Dec 18 2012

       Somewhere I saw a haiku, along the lines of   

       The world has just ended
We are here still
Let's party!
DrCurry, Dec 19 2012

       An ode to the Mayan ex-wife
So good with the ax and the knife
She'll carve out your heart
She considers it art
And not really taking your life
theircompetitor, Dec 19 2012

       Ooh. Better ending line for mine.   

       I can't guess what they'll say in June.
MechE, Dec 19 2012

       An ancient race from Yucatan,
Has predicted the ending of Man,
So don't hesitate
And before it's too late,
Get down to the pub while you can.
8th of 7, Dec 19 2012

       He was feathered and scaled, no mere man
He was more like a god, Kukulcan
No, he was no mere mortal
This Quetzalcoatl
We shall soon know his ultimate plan
theircompetitor, Dec 20 2012

       [bigs], you're channeling William Topaz McGonagall again … …
8th of 7, Dec 20 2012

       //Not only but also//   

       My bad. I had thought the Mayans were all dead by the time the Spanish set shore.
RayfordSteele, Dec 20 2012

       There once was an unemployed prophet
Who peddled cheap futures for profit
A true ignoramus
He's no Nostradamus
But the Mayans, they made him like Buffett
theircompetitor, Dec 21 2012

       When an apocalypse is nigh,
And large rocks fall from the sky,
Take your collective heads,
Put them between your legs,
And kiss your asses goodbye.
Ling, Dec 21 2012

May end

       Add your own syllables limericks.
rcarty, Dec 21 2012

rcarty, Dec 21 2012

       The Mayan god, old Quetzalcoatl,
had priests as smart as Aristotle,
who condemned the crock
that was carved on a rock,
"We won't believe, but a lot'll."
baconbrain, Dec 21 2012

       [bb], a lot'll like your limeric too.
sqeaketh the wheel, Dec 21 2012

       Final one from me, I promise

       The pyramids of Chichen Itza
Compete with the desert of Giza
But the end didn't come
And so now, my dear chum
They are peddling nachos and pizza
theircompetitor, Dec 22 2012

       Very good, [bigsleep]!
spidermother, Dec 22 2012

       [bigsleep], I'd like to officially license "The End Of Dais' " as a title :)
theircompetitor, Dec 22 2012


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