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Artificial Urban Forest

The psychic power of trees, without all the hassle.
  (+6, -5)
(+6, -5)
  [vote for,

Trees are an essential part of urban landscaping. The presence of trees makes an urban view look well maintained and lush. The problem: scrawny little trees die easy in the city. Building and paving next to big established trees tends to croak them too. What is a municipaltiy to do?

I have been impressed by the cell phone towers disguised as trees. Recently I spotten two very passable redwoods, distinguishable as fake only because of their many dishes and gray boxes nestled among the needles, and the fact that they were in a desert. Why should these awesome artifices be reserved only for cell phone tower use? I propose that grand, fake trees be liberally placed in the urban landscape, achieving the density of a mature forest.

Benefits: 1: Shade 2: Increase psychic vigor of citizens. 3: Low maintenance costs. 4: Durability. 5: City themes: recreate the forest that once occupied the site of your city. Possibly in Jurrasic times? Or adopt a tree and with it a theme: Brookings, South Dakota - Baobab City USA!

bungston, Feb 16 2009

Cell Phone Tower Redwood http://www.jointven...eecellsiteSmall.jpg
You're right... not bad. [paix120, Feb 19 2009]


       What in hell is "psychic vigor"? It sounds like something men wish women would have. ;-)
blissmiss, Feb 16 2009

       I'm bunning this only for the use of the word "spotten". The pre-conjunctive past-participle subjudicative doesn't get a lot of exposure.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 16 2009

       [-] I'm boning this because of the word "artificial"... not that it's spelled wrong, it's just a stupid idea: you want "artificial" trees, make them man-designed: flourescent colours, precise fractal designs, etc.   

       Either that or holding tanks for rainwater, fed to real trees.
FlyingToaster, Feb 16 2009

       Whatever "Psychic vigor" may be, I'm convinced that it requires real trees before the populace can see any increases in it. Indeed, I suspect that the claims of mental retardation being caused by microwave towers are at least in part due to their complicity with the replacement of real trees.   

       In fact, I'll be posting my OWN idea in contestation to yours.
ye_river_xiv, Feb 17 2009

       / The pre-conjunctive past-participle subjudicative doesn't get a lot of exposure./   

       This is a case of better lucky than good.
bungston, Feb 18 2009

       What's a microwave tower? That sounds like some sort of RTS game building.
Smurfsahoy, Feb 19 2009

       You forgot one more benefit (that may also be a detractor depending on the city) - birds can nest in them.   

       I wonder what the longevity and wear & tear is on these?
paix120, Feb 19 2009

       //pre-conjunctive past-participle subjudicative//   

       {BZZZT!} Bluff!
pertinax, Feb 19 2009

       Urban forestry is a great idea, which ought be pursued with all psychic and other vigour.   

       This isn't, and oughtn't [-]
BunsenHoneydew, Feb 23 2009


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