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Australoid

Turn gigantic stumbling blocks into unfeasibly large stepping stones
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Crisis! An asteroid 600m wide has been detected that's heading directly toward a major world population centre and is set to kill tens of millions. Your reaction? To yell "Bonza" and crack open a tin of the amber fluid. The governments of the world are ready to open their wallets to anyone who can save humanity, which means your decades of quixotic planning can finally turn into action in the capable hands of Aussie science.

After several years flat out like a lizard drinking, the Australian Space Agency finally gets the thermonuclear device into space and carefully positions it against the asteroid. The detonation minutely adjusts its course to send it from the east to hit the western end of the Great Australian Bight at an acute angle. The impact digs out a sub-sea-level crater 100 kilometres across and throws up a mountain range 1.5 km high, resulting in immediate hydration of the region and setting it up for continuing orographic precipitation. Ripper.

The rest of the world is relieved that disaster was averted but frankly they carry on like a bunch of Pommies about the years of atmospheric ash to follow.

There have been other ideas about an Australian Inland Sea, and ideas about saving the earth from rogue asteroids, but has there ever been a single idea that combines both into one and tosses in a mountain range for good measure? Beaut if I do say so myself.

oscil8, May 11 2018

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       Anything that gets rid of Australia is a good idea. (all wildlife saved of course) So my hope is that the asteroid tears it out of ground and flings the whole place into orbit. We can call it Asteroidalia. With any luck a similar event will rip out Texas too and convert it into a ball of orbiting lava.
xenzag, May 11 2018
  

       You do know that Monsanto is not Australian, don't you?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 11 2018
  

       Monsanto is everywhere. Everywhere. See that slight movement in that shrub over there ? That's Monsanto. Watching you. Waiting. Plotting. Planning. Choosing the moment to sneak up on you and steal your DNA ...   

       Keep your tinfoil hat pulled tight down ... keep looking behind you ... don't sleep, they come for you in your sleep ...
8th of 7, May 11 2018
  

       When are you going to reveal the love child you and Max have humped into existence? We need pics and details.
xenzag, May 11 2018
  

       <Statler and Waldorf disclaimer/>   

       "Love child" ? Shirley not. It was grown in a tank for us by Monsanto …
8th of 7, May 11 2018
  

       Onya! [+]   

       Mind you don't overshoot and take out the vineyards of Margaret River.
pertinax, May 11 2018
  

       Make it deep enough and perhaps you could simultaneously solve the ocean level rise worry as well. Hat Trick!
RayfordSteele, May 11 2018
  

       If it's mountains you want, then cancel your recycling program, take in a good bit of money accepting everyone else's trash, pile it all in some convenient corner of the continent, and in no time you have a mountain. Perhaps a smelly one, but hey, that methane can be harvested as fuel too.
RayfordSteele, May 11 2018
  
      
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