Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Powder-actuated axe splits wood.
  [vote for,

When splitting firewood, use the Axeploder. Only a light swing of the axe required; enough to drive the blade an inch into the wood end-grain, then trigger the explosive cartridge (standard used for powder-actuated hammers). The explosion causes the two-piece axe blade to open like a clamshell, splitting the wood.
Trigger somewhere on the handle, once you are sure axe is stuck in the wood properly. More fun than those expensive and slow hydraulic splitters.
Lay the wood on its side and maybe make one piece fly up into the back of a truck!
How about for splitting split-rail fence?
flypaper, Aug 29 2003


       Would definately need some sort of ammo clip feed system. There's no way I'm going to re-load a charge by hand with every swing.
Cedar Park, Aug 29 2003

       Needs a <spicoli/>gnarly</spicoli> pic. +
thumbwax, Aug 29 2003

       ”You have a license for that axe?”
FarmerJohn, Aug 29 2003

       "The essential accessory for the Lumberjack in a Hurry......".   

       12-guage B.P. blanks would be the things to power it with, on a disintegrating link belt.   

       "I want your clothes, your boots, your motorcyle ..... and your big chopper ......"
8th of 7, Aug 29 2003

       This has so much killing potential, I wish there was a double-plus...
DeathNinja, Aug 29 2003

       I'm certain there are wood splitters that work like this, but I can't find a link for the life of me.
phoenix, Aug 29 2003

       Now I just have to get a blue ox and call it Babe.   


       package I;
sub m {print "I'm $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
package He;
sub s {print "He's $_[0]\n";}
sub AUTOLOAD {print "$AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
package main;
sub AUTOLOAD {our $AUTOLOAD=~s/main::/­/;print "and $AUTOLOAD $_[0]\n";}
sub Wednesday {print "On Wednesdays ";}

       I'm("a lumberjack") && I'm("OK");
I::sleep("all night") && I::work("all day");
I::chop("down trees"),I::eat("my lunch");
I::go("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {I::go("shopping") && have("buttered scones for tea");}

       He's("a lumberjack") && He's("OK");
He::sleeps("all night") && He::works("all day");
He::chops("down trees"),He::eats("hi­s lunch");
He::goes("to the lavatory");
if (Wednesday()) {He::goes("shopping"­) && has("buttered scones for tea");}
Shz, Aug 30 2003


DeathNinja, Aug 30 2003

       Don't feel bad, [phoenix].  I'm pretty sure there's Ramset-style splitters too but can't find a link either.   

       [shz], what's that all about?
bristolz, Aug 30 2003

       Just a bit of lumberjack programming humor I found on the net. It was buried in the middle of a long off-topic thread so I cut/pasted it. Forgot to attribute it to the author when I posted it. Kudos to Benn, whoever that is (obviously a pretty funny guy).
Shz, Aug 30 2003

       Could be a lot of fun
sundance, Aug 31 2003

       I would think the phrase "leg was blown off with an axe" should net a double-take.
lurch, Aug 31 2003

       (Seen on Side Sticker)
WARNING: Not for use with circumcision purposes.
ghillie, Mar 01 2004

       just insure you are wearing a coat of armour before the splinters launch out like tiny missiles into your chest and legs. Don't forget the goggles! I like this idea ^_^
DBA, Mar 15 2004


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