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Baby Bell jar
For silencing annoying child screeching at restaurants
You get all dressed up, invite your friends out to join you
and your wife for a relaxing evening meal at a nice
restaurant. You are sitting there, about to order and you
hear it; the ear shattering screech of someone's out of
control baby or toddler who is quite tired and dissatisfied
to sit there while it's adults ignore it. The mind
numbing screeching absorbs all conversation and
completely shatters the ambiance of having a pleasant
meal. You give irritated glances, you stare, thinking the
parents will take the hint and remove the siren. They
pretend everything is just fine and go on ignoring the
maniac voice shrapnel.
You call over the waiter, quietly inform him of the need
the baby bell jar to be brought to table 13 and tip him
dollars for extra panache in delivering it. Moments
the lovely glass jar and accompanying seal fitting platter
are wheeled out and the now screaming in high C infant
mobidius is snatched up and placed under the sound
glass. The jar is locked in place and the sound isolated
flailing little beasty is safely and quietly contained.
reigns supreme and everyone tips a glass in toast of
appreciation toward your table. Smilingly, you rejoin
splendid companions, reengaging in intimate jovial
conversation once again. The evening is saved.
Portable child hypoxicator
Prior Art [8th of 7, Jun 19 2015]
The perfect solution. [xenzag, Jun 19 2015]
||Ok 8th, take off the mask.
||Yes, it is. Beryllium would be much better.
||No, honestly, he's not one of our sub-units.
||But we wish he was. Prime Assimilation material, looking at his
profile. With luck, he
hates cats, too.
||How about just using the nearest river? See link to most
excellent Harry Graham poem on this very matter.
||Rebreather in the bobble of the bell jar would suffice for a couple of hours.
||Zyklon-B would be better.
||I have no problem with keeping my babybels in a jar.
||//mobidius// is not a word. I checked. Making up
words is a recipe for disastrophe.