The aliens who came here on holiday in the past have
very responsible citizens and always cleaned up after
themselves, leaving only the occasional septarian nodule
Klerksdorp sphere when Brockian ultra-cricket balls got
kicked into the long psilopsids back
in Silurian times.
Also, as they were all hoverducks, they never touched
surface of the planet themselves. Since we are native to
this planet, we are rather less circumspect and we litter,
walk on things and graffiti.
Over a long period of time, geological processes have
formed various minerals, such as evaporites, gritstones
and conglomerates. Though they may involve erosion,
these processes exclude the activities of sentient
This is no longer the case.
Imagine, therefore, the investigations of a future
terrestrial cephalopod version of [jonthegeologist] from
the two millionth century as they excavate Amasian
deposits from the Anthropocene epoch, particularly in
areas such as the former Peak District, Rome and Bali.
They will encounter novel minerals confined to
Anthropocene strata whose processes of formation are
quite distinctive. They could include the following:
Tabernite: Various minerals, fudges, metals,
and plastics are gathered from disparate sources and
placed in gift shops. As they go bust in economic
recessions, they are abandoned and buried in the
associated lava flows, compacted and crushed
viscous layers comprising syrupy mixtures of badges,
stickers and soft toys. These are good sources of
organic gases which can be released by heating and are
used as fuel.
Garbo: Somewhat similar to the former, this is a
formed from litter left behind by tourists, including half-
eaten sandwiches, clingfilm, dirty paper towels and
forks. These include nominally edible components such
the remnants of twinkie bars and irradiated salad, and
served up as delicacies in exclusive reverse-sushi
restaurants by our molluscan supplanters.
Graffite: Writing constantly scratched on monuments by
visitors over periods of many millenia ultimately led to
disintegration and later agglomeration of the debris.
Useful for tracing linguistic change, as spelling and
grammar can be correlated to the precise stratum of the
rock. Newer layers are often brightly coloured due to
spraypaint and are used to make jewellery.
Tabernaculite: Found on former campsites, these are
sources of natural gas and contain valuable deposits of
natural nylon. Highly laminated and include textile
Particularly common in the former Somerset.
Diogenite: Consist largely of fragments of ceramic and
generally located in former urban areas. A former
gradually accumulates increasing quantities of
until the house is entirely filled with ornaments and
souvenirs. Frequently associated with multiple feline
fossils and isolated primate remains and their coprolites
along with large piles of unopened mail.
Skist: These are erratics left behind by retreating
and are generally lumps consisting of fragments of
bones separated by layers of foam and polyester along
metal sticks and skis. Another good source of organic
Certain hypersquid collect these minerals themselves and
sell them in their own gift shops or deposit them in their
own dwellings. Millions of years pass and the distant
descendants of neotenous barnacles make
own discoveries of further, newer mineral deposits
before the sun leaves the Main Sequence.