h a l f b a k e r y
The embarrassing drunkard uncle of invention.
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percussion instrument consisting of bald heads
Baldyphone is a variation of the familiar xylophone. ie it's a percussion instrument, but with a human component.
When your head is struck with a small hard tool, like the heel of a spoon, it emits a certain dull sound. This is sharper and louder in the case of a bald head. With some training, an
additional reliably exact vocalised note can be delivered by the person who's head is being struck.
Now all that is required is a piece of polished material, into which has been cut a series of progressively larger holes with padded perimeters.
Through these holes protrude the upper crowns of the bald folk who comprise the active part of the instrument. For added comfort, they are seated in such a way as to be presented at the right height and angle for the musician, who runs up and down tapping the line of heads with one or two small mallets.
As each head is struck, its owner releases their trained note.
Baldyphones can be supplemented by the Kneejerk Piano. (see link) Other instruments currently being developed completed the orchestra.
[xenzag, May 16 2012]
||Will the assembled slapheads be trained to
open and close their mouths, thus modulating
the frequency and timbre of the note
||It's like the Mouse Organ, except it demeans
and humiliates those of a less hirsute
||We volunteer [Unabubba], whose cranium,
when struck, will yield a highly distinctive
||Where has Peter been, anyway?
||That was my first thought too!