Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Battering Ram Door-Knock Assister

More knock for your knock
  [vote for,

Like most people, you were born with a limited number of knocks. Why waste so many of them on your co-worker's office door? With the Battering Ram Door-Knock Assister you can halve the number of knocks expended when engaging in the conventional entryway arrival announcing ritual. This device is a miniature swinging battering ram that is worn dangling from your wrist. When you hold your forearm parallel to the floor and bang in a striking motion, each strike is followed up by the swinging ram which adds a second knock. The striking face of the ram can be rubberized so as to protect the door surface, metal-plated so as to leave a mark, or with your seal carved into the metal plate so that it leaves a personalized mark.

Note: The Battering Ram Door-Knock Assister is designed to be used -only- with the side-of-the-fist banging method of knock, with forearm parallel to the floor as described above. It MAY NOT be used with the wimpy back-of-the-hand knuckle tap reputed to be common among the French (knocks such as these are why the French have the reputation they do).

swimswim, Dec 16 2011

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       I benefit from a lifetime's supply of unlimited knocks (my parents enrolled me in a program when I was an infant), but I applaud your efforts on the part of those not so fortunate.
Alterother, Dec 16 2011

       I'm told that if you go to the right school, you learn how to knock properly.
RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2011

       Didn't they name a fort after that school?
normzone, Dec 16 2011

       Yeah, and a gelatin manufacturer.
RayfordSteele, Dec 16 2011

       // Didn't they name a fort after that school? //   

       Yes, Fort Bragg. We knockers are a proud lot, and we don't care who knows it.
Alterother, Dec 16 2011

       Wimps have their battering ram door knock assister hanging from their forearm. Real Men (TM) have their battering ram door knock assister mounted on an 18 wheel trailer.
pocmloc, Dec 16 2011

       Aussies don't knock. We just let ourselves in and go to the beer fridge and wait for someone to show up while the rest of you lot are outside debating over proper knocking etiquette and techniques (Europeans?) or optimal knocking technology (Americans?). Before firing up your battering rams and arm-mounted doorknockers just try the handle Mate. It's usually open.
AusCan531, Dec 17 2011


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