Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Quis custodiet the custard?

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Berating scale

You have the arse of a turnip and you're stepping on my face
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

This personal weighing scale reads the data on any food market loyalty cards and becomes caustic.

"Oreos again? Looks like you'll need to start sucking out the middle."

"Coca-cola and no deodorant? Do you want cancer of the armpit?"

The data regarding eating habits stored* on loyalty cards would also be uploaded, on a voluntary basis, to scientists doing observational studies. This could improve estimates comparing diets to disease rates.

* Probably not, but you should have control of that data, not supermarket chains.

4and20, Sep 14 2014


       I've read that if you really want to berate someone, or cuss them, you should learn Arabic. Supposedly it is the best language for "telling off" other people. Sample insult: "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits."
Vernon, Sep 14 2014

       Polish is pretty good. Having heard a young Polish lady* berate her boyfriend for reasons incomprehensible, it is very clear that even if you don't understand the words, the fact that you are being told off is absolutely unmistakable, both to you and to everyone in the vicinity**.   

       *It is entirely possible, indeed likely, that had a translation been available it would have established that while the young person was definitely female, she definitely wasn't a lady.   

       ** Outdoors, about five hundred metres radius.
8th of 7, Sep 14 2014

       [+] At the IBM dining hall years ago, two Russian Jews, one of them my friend Boris, were talking to each other and one said something with the word Pashlee (which means "let's go" or "go ahead"). I asked my friend over the noise: "Boris! Mah zeh Pashli?" (What does 'Pashli' mean?)"   

       His answer in a bellowing voice was heard across the whole hall: "Mashyeh! Eem atta lo yodea melah bRussitt all taggid ottah bekkole!" (Moshe! If you don't know a word in Russian, don't say it out loud!)
pashute, Sep 14 2014


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