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Bhutanese prayer-wheel encryption

Or how Bhutan became the centre of encryption
  [vote for,

Given the current lack of hacked-free encryption protocols can I offer the NMRM Bhutanese prayer-wheel encryption service?

The system is simple and difficult to hack. The email is encoded into a simple block format code and sent, like big QR.

The email is printed out in an internet cafe in Thimphu, then loaded onto secured blindfolded mules, transported to a distant lamissary, where blindfolded monks insert the printout into a jacquard type scanner.

This is then read by the prayer wheel array. At the command of the head monk* chanting "prezthe bhutan**" they are printed afresh re-encrypted. That is then muled down to the aforementioned internet cafe, scanned and retransmitted as a block code.

Early attempts to launch a "mule in the middle" attack were overcome when it was eaten by a yeti.

Almost certainly hack-proof as 99% of intelligence operatives would be driven crazy by all the waiting on lonely mountain paths to intercept aforementioned mules, and nothing but yak-butter tea to drink.

* As they are blindfolded no one is quite sure who actually is the head monk, but if you can't take a chap's word for it, then what kind of a world are we living in?

** Little known fact, this where we get the phrase "press the button" in English.***

*** Not a lot of people know that.****

**** Although thinking about it, most buttons wouldn't need pressing, possibly a wipe over with damp cloth, or brasso.

not_morrison_rm, Sep 08 2013


       Buttons are for undoing.
pocmloc, Sep 08 2013

       the shiny, candy-like button...   

       <counts up footnotes>   

       [n_m_rm], you're channeling Pterry Pratchett. Stop it.
8th of 7, Sep 08 2013

       ***** Shan't.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 08 2013


       But prayer wheels have a repeating regular pattern, no? That clue would be enough to at least get encourage decoding back to the scanner loom data quality.
RayfordSteele, Sep 09 2013

       //encourage decoding back to the scanner loom data quality.   

       Through a scanner(and loom) darkly.   

       Aha, this is where we get to the clever bit...I was considering just translating into a synthetic language, but then shil; bééhózin dooda igaii diné hani-ba-ah-ho-zin Diné.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 09 2013

       //can I offer// Sure. Should? Well...
lurch, Sep 09 2013

       ****** just for the footnote record, current winner seems to be Phillip Palmer in "Artemis" (wot I am reading now). The first page of the story proper has 16 words. These 16 words have four footnotes.   

       Of these four footnotes, I got bored of counting the words in them at about 100.   

       So, we have at least a 100:16 ratio of footnote words to story words.
not_morrison_rm, Sep 18 2013


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