Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Birdman of Parkour

run around the rooftops dressed as a bird
  [vote for,

Many city centre buildings now feature fake birds of prey in the form of kites that flap around in the wind. Most birds simply laugh at these, especially pigeons and seagulls that continue to dive bomb the local citizens, or even to carry away smaller birds for food consumption.

The perfect solution for this is to employ some of those foolhardy individuals who engage in the totally dangerous activity called Parkour. This is where folk with no interest in living long and healthy lives, run around jumping from roof to roof etc, leaping over every obstacle with undeniable dexterous athletic prowess.

The idea is therefore to let these Parkour dare devils loose over the rooftops in city locations, dressed as large birds of prey. Their brief is to run around, waving their wings, leaping and squawking energetically, to scare away the seagulls and pigeons. Occasional roosting to rest up for lunch or toilet business is permitted, but must be done convincingly in a totally bird-like manner.

Flocks of Parkour Birdmen are encouraged but they are required to always imitate the behaviour of real birds by preening, huddling together etc, and not forget their main purpose of harmlessly deterring the anti-social activities of aggressive urban seagulls etc.

xenzag, Aug 18 2017

scarekite http://www.scarem.c...es-hawk-kite-10.jpg
one of many different kinds [xenzag, Aug 18 2017]

Birdmen of Parkour http://www.flowacad....jpg?crc=4101598966
rehearsing without wearing their bird suits [xenzag, Aug 18 2017]

Getting dressed for work https://mattsko.fil...12/01/bird-suit.jpg
as a large and very hungry sparrow [xenzag, Aug 18 2017]


       // toilet business ... must be done convincingly in a bird-like manner. //   

       So, crapping on passers-by in open public areas, from a great height ?   

       Yes, that would work. [+]
8th of 7, Aug 18 2017

       They could have little functional wings that might not allow them to fly up but might slow them down enough that they could survive otherwise unsurvivable jumps.
JesusHChrist, Aug 18 2017

       Why would anyone want these idiots to survive ? Besides, wingsuits are Baked.
8th of 7, Aug 18 2017

       Somehow Tibetan sky burials seem appropriate for those who fail to make it to the next roof.
Wrongfellow, Aug 18 2017

       The most appropriate method would be for the remains to be collected by street cleaners and dumped in the garbage, shirley ?
8th of 7, Aug 18 2017

       The seagulls would definitely eat anyone who didn't make the grade.
xenzag, Aug 18 2017

       Ah, Parkour. Something else I invented, but neglected to monetize. Youth, carefree youth ....
normzone, Aug 18 2017


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