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Breath sounds on mute

Breathing sounds when someone at a call center mutes their phone
  (+17, -5)(+17, -5)
(+17, -5)
  [vote for,

Some people get upset when the call center employee puts the phone on mute. It's hard to tell sometimes if they are still there or not and you may think they dropped your call. This could be solved by a simple recording of faint breathe sounds whenever the phone is put to mute. It would let you know that the call hasn't dropped and someone is still there working on your problem

This is not a replacement for traditional hold music but something only for use on mute

beaglebot, Aug 02 2006

There's an app for that http://venturebeat....stcustomer-holding/
[theircompetitor, Mar 04 2011]

Fashion Models Gone Bad... Fashion_20Models_20...Bad_2c_20Disc_20One
[normzone, Mar 05 2011]


       + OK, as long as it isn't heavy breathing.
xandram, Aug 02 2006

       "Hello! HELLO! ... Why are you just hanging on the phone and not saying anything?! ... Stop breathing at me and say something!!"
hippo, Aug 02 2006

       It would be quite creepy if the breathing suddenly stopped....   

       Actually to make this more spooky , add in a really quiet , slowed-down reversed-sample of 'Your Call is important to us...'
monojohnny, Aug 02 2006

       How about some scratchy background sound like the phone had been left on a desk.
Galbinus_Caeli, Aug 02 2006

       or how about a voice just outside the audible range continuously repeating "you want to send outrageous amounts of cash to (insert your address here)"
bizcase, Aug 02 2006

       the recording could also play some juicy gossip that is just barely discernable: "... have you heard that Joe and Nancy .... last night..."
ixnaum, Aug 02 2006

       Set seasonal sounds based on the date - hay fever wheezing, cold season sniffling... [+] from me.
bigdumbdane, Aug 02 2006

       I thought the same thing about the gossip. Just a little something of background office noise.   

       As far as having it stop I was thinking along the lines of a noise gate. When someone is talking you wouldn't hear it but when they stopped you would. For that you may as well just have it play very softly in the background all of the time so that it never just cuts off
beaglebot, Aug 03 2006

       Fake breathing, IMHO would be even more annoying than the worst possible hold music imaginable, and as soon as people realize it's hold "music," they'll feel both unimportant, and foolish for ever falling for it.   

       Sorry, but I can't bun anything that tries to make customers feel happy about being on hold.
ye_river_xiv, Aug 03 2006

       This would not be a replacement for hold music, that's an entirely separate thing. This would be only for when the call center employee muted their mic. The employee is still there and able to respond to what you are saying but can also ask a quick question of a supervisor, sneeze, cough, etc.
beaglebot, Aug 03 2006

       A polite "You are still on hold; we have not disconnected" would be helpful.
phundug, Aug 03 2006

       If you are on hold too long the breathing can turn to yawning and then snoring.
MoreCowbell, Aug 03 2006

       Maybe we could get some Darth Vader cameo's to liven it up?
RayfordSteele, Aug 03 2006

       Strong work, [BB]. The service industries need more people like you.
bungston, Aug 03 2006

       Some companies are playing keyboard clicking sounds while you wait... "Your call is important to us, please hold for the next representative..." ,"clickety click click click..." Same for in between voice-response commands. Computer Voice: "Let me look up that information, clickety click click..."   

       I believe the theory is that you will be tricked into associating the clicking with someone actually working on your issue, or just busy working. In reality, the knowledge that this is a pre-recorded tape makes it much more annoying than standard hold music. I would think the breathing would be similar. i.e. like [ye_river_xiv] said.
Zuzu, Aug 05 2006

       just creepy this, I prefer the elevator music.
shinobi, Aug 05 2006

       Roadrunner/Coyote sound effects, please, with speedy accomplishment of my meager request to boot.
reensure, Aug 06 2006

       Alexander Graham Bell is turning in his grave as we breathe.   

       In 1998 there was a new GSM standard that automatically created some kind of ambient "sounds of silence", on the RECEIVING side (so that you don't take up bandwidth). I suppose its still there. So all thats needed is to change the definitions.   

       Better yet, you can have your own "silence sounds" or download them like ringtones!
pashute, Aug 06 2006

       Correct [pashute], it's known as DTX (Discontinous Transmission). Works in a different way from what's proposed here though. With DTX, the mobile phone microphone samples user voice and alerts the phone when the user stops talking. This in turn triggers forward replay at the called party's earpiece of the last sample from the phone's mike.

It would be difficult to apply this system to a traditional analogue phone network, so I guess the idea as posited is more realistic ie. pressing mute button triggers transmission of standard noise, be it breathing, dolphin sounds or whatever.
DocBrown, Aug 06 2006

       In retrospect, I suppose if you do have a penchant for breathing heavily down the phone you can always shift the blame .. "Oops! Sorry about that, I accidently switched on hold" ..
kuupuuluu, Aug 06 2006

       Hehe, dolphin sounds made me think of something. You could have Flipper as your hold music.   

       "... I'm just going to put you on hold for a minute while I ask my supervisor ... eek ee ee ee, click-click rasp weeeeeeee ... yeah he says it's probably your multiplexing causing the problem ..."
marklar, Aug 07 2006

       Sure beats the "maniacal laughter while on hold" system.
wyrm, Dec 09 2006

       Hold recording should pretend to be background noise from the call center, but scripted to impress the customer. Full of tense voices jabbering technical gobbledygook, and occasional snatches of conversation along the lines of "Scramble the Level IV data recovery team! What? No! Damn the cost!"
mouseposture, Mar 05 2011

       (normzone) " May I put you on hold for a moment ? "   

       (caller) " Sure, okay ... "   

       (normzone, singing to self so the customer can hear) " So I'm still breathing, so I'm still breathing on my own ... Hello, I'm back "
normzone, Mar 22 2017

       Why not make being on hold fun? Speak into your phone and get a random playback with your voice transformed into something else. Darlek etc.   

       "Your call may be recorded for entertainment purposes"
Ling, Mar 23 2017


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