Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bum Lid

For anyone who's ever lost the toothpaste cap
  (+16, -4)(+16, -4)
(+16, -4)
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A poor, dishevelled young artist stands before the masterpiece he's been working on for the past 12 months. It is almost finished, which is good news, because he's not eaten anything but discarded crusts for two weeks, and the money he hopes to raise from selling this piece will be spent on a handsome chicken feast for he and his cat, not to mention paying the arrears on his rent, reconnecting the utilities and repaying the cash lent to him the other week by some rather unsavoury characters from down the back of town.

Still, it's nearly done, the hard times are nearly over, all he has to do is fill in a bit of the fields just over the left shoulder of the rather podgy nude in the foreground (he had spent a whole month getting the tone just right on her busty substances) - verdure for the shadows, viridian for the mid-tones and little splashes of spearmint, shamrock and trusty old cadmium green to highlight the sunlit glen so resplendent with the joys of spring.

He prepares his palette, hands, shaking slightly at the anticipation of the moment when all will become a perfect and complete whole. He squeezes out a little of the paint from each tube, one colour at a time; Verdure, viridian, spearmint, shamrock and...but what's this?

His faithful old tube of cadmium green is missing its lid and has gone all dry and hard. He can't squeeze the appropriate amount out onto his palette! How will he ever finish his masterpiece now?

The artist flings the palette at the wall, and lashing out in a fit of rage, he knocks the picture to the floor sending tubes of paint flying one way, while brushes cartwheel off in another.

Much later, after the rage leaves him, he shuffles past the ripped canvas over to the garret window, a broken man. He opens it wide, the cool October air swirling around him, and leans out as he contemplates the 3 stories down to the cobbled street below...

If only he'd known about Bum Lids, it would all have been so different. Bum Lids are an elasticated membrane that can be fitted onto almost any existing opening, providing an airtight seal when not in use but allowing for procession of (a normally viscous) fluid on application of pressure.

Latex or rubber is formed into an elasticated sphincter that can be fitted onto the ends of tubes of grease, paint or toothpaste, either adding to, or in some cases completely replacing the traditional screw-top cap.

Bum Lids can be attached at the factory, or fitted by the enthusiast in the comfort of their own home/garret.

zen_tom, Sep 15 2005

Dictionary of Color http://www.swiss.ai...~jaffer/Color/M.htm
[zen_tom, Sep 15 2005]

magic paint brush http://news.bbc.co....hnology/4184160.stm
[po, Sep 15 2005]

Parafilm http://www.2spi.com...g/supp/supp4b.shtml
[bungston, Sep 15 2005]

Where it all started.. Vaginarine
[ConsulFlaminicus, Sep 16 2005]

So it's these things, … http://www.leevalle...858&cat=1,110,42967
[notexactly, Apr 13 2016]

… combined with this thing http://slowlyrottin...p-toss-dilemma.html
[notexactly, Apr 13 2016]

[link]






       There are buyers in New York who'd pay good money for that ripped canvas! (I've seen them do it.)   

       Then maybe the dishevelled young artist could afford some cling wrap or sealable sandwich baggies. Or even just some regular baggies and some rubber bands (the more traditional artists' solution to this problem).
DrCurry, Sep 15 2005
  

       It's too late now, he jumped - only to read your anno on his way down (as he sped past someone on the 2nd floor browsing the Halfbakery)   

       Baggies and elastic bands are perfectly reasonable, but sometimes one wants a real solution already integrated into the range of consumer products available. Especially when one has a more, artistic temperament, and is falling to their certain tragic death.
zen_tom, Sep 15 2005
  

       You appear to be describing a micro-condom. Which if you need a replacement toothpaste cap would be just the thing.
wagster, Sep 15 2005
  

       It's a micro-condom, with a self widening/contracting hole that allows squeezed product to go through, but which will pinch-off and create an airtight seal once the squeezing pressure stops. Like a bum.
zen_tom, Sep 15 2005
  

       Have you seen how those "crustless" mustard bottles work? (I've seen the same thing on ketchup and Castrol's waterless hand cleaner) This sounds like that, formed in the end of a small finger cot.
half, Sep 15 2005
  

       This Idea reads like a damn TV ad script. +
reensure, Sep 15 2005
  

       Mustard indeed. I’m all for having this on the container of my choosing, though. I’d like them selectable by squeezability factor, so the desired effort/flow can be achieved with substances of differing thickness'.
Shz, Sep 15 2005
  

       Baked: Parafilm.
bungston, Sep 15 2005
  

       this is baked on ketchup and mustard botttles as well as PowerAde bottles. Although the PowerAde bottles open by sucking. they are usually made of semi transparent plastic and have a slit down the middle that opens. however i can't find links and the writing is good +
schmendrick, Sep 15 2005
  

       Yep, beautiful writing. Very dramatic. +
chocolateraindrops, Sep 15 2005
  

       I was expecting this to be a variation on the bustle.
normzone, Sep 15 2005
  

       Rubber teats are baked and perform the same function, however I grow bored of them. Rubber sphincters are surely the next big thing. Masterful.
Texticle, Sep 15 2005
  

       Say Bill, can you rub some of that powder on my lips.
benfrost, Sep 16 2005
  

       brrrr! - I get shivers down my spine whenever I consider anything remotely related to having my dinner in the nude.
zen_tom, Sep 16 2005
  

       Nice.   

       (Except, isn't this just like the openings of shower gel bottles? I didn't want to bring it up because I enjoyed the narrative.)
Jinbish, Sep 16 2005
  

       Well done [zen-tom].
zeno, Sep 17 2005
  

       tiny condoms.
WcW, Aug 30 2008
  

       A bun for the story. And I rarely award story buns.
Voice, Apr 10 2016
  
      
[annotate]
  


 

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