Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cadaver Express

Shoot the body to the corner through an underground pipe.
(+1, -1)
  [vote for,

In New York City the real estate is expensive. If you build a large coroners office in the less expensive suburbs, and place or find a pipe bigger in diameter then 90 per cent of your dead between the downtown and the suburbs.

You can shoot the bodies over to the lab using compressed air or an small electric train. Save a lot of money. Cheaper than a taxi. Shoot the bodies back for the funeral or trial if needed.

You don't have to worry about them dying due to bad air cause all your passengers are already dead.

Bet Fed-Ex and UPS and so on.. will want a part of this.

popbottle, Dec 17 2014


       Your honor, I'm going to challenge the category choice.   

       While the LE boys will be one of the customers, there are enough non LE customers that you should choose another category.
normzone, Dec 17 2014

       Open to a suggestion
popbottle, Dec 17 2014

       // Fed-Ex   

       They do have a mini part of this already, one of my students worked at Fedex and one guy was shipping a human head, of the quite recently deceased type, in chilled transport.   

       It should have gotten the complimentary chianti and some fava beans...
not_morrison_rm, Dec 17 2014



       Culture:Amusement Park:Ride   








       Vehicle:Road:Road Kill   

       Vehicle:Traffic Jam   

normzone, Dec 17 2014

       I think people have speculated on this form of transport for people ever since pneumatic tube delivery systems came into use.
bungston, Dec 17 2014

       As it's underground, no gps, so can we assume dead reckoning?   

       (sound of drum roll)
not_morrison_rm, Dec 17 2014

       Rigor-ous training?... m'nah, Locomuertive?... nope no good, The Little Engine that can't-even? no no, no wait... it's coming to me... it's, it's the...
The Corporient Express.

       Yes that's better.   

       Proposed improvement: strap the bodies into inflatable giant hamster balls, with a GPS-equipped computer- controlled car inside to act as a counterweight to "wobble" the ball in one direction or another. Rapid transit is achieved by "wobbling" into traffic (on the intended side of the street/sidewalk) and getting bumped along to the destination by passerby.
sninctown, Dec 18 2014

       A Coroner's office is always, by definition, the dead centre of town.
AusCan531, Dec 18 2014


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