Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Car Gnomes

gnomes wot you stick all over the outside of your car, especially the roof and bonnet
  (+8, -6)
(+8, -6)
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Car Gnomes are just like garden gnomes only you stick them on the outside surfaces of your car. They are attached using really strong magnets, making them nigh impossible to remove, AND they shriek loudly if you try to forcibly pull them off.
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

Fishing Gnome http://www.germantr...images/63-579sm.gif
The hook could dangle inside, and you could use it from which to hang stuff, like your coat. [xenzag, Feb 19 2009]

gnomes wot jumped off the car... http://home.exetel....iraphale/AS-car.jpg
[xandram, Feb 19 2009]

whoops, I spoke too soon -- porno gnomes!! http://hoffmania.bl...ot.com/x-gnomes.jpg
[xandram, Feb 20 2009]

gnomesville http://nantucket.net/
or is the place where they make nan bread with a bit that folds over? [xenzag, Feb 22 2009]

Ingrid's Back! http://www.ysrnry.c...les/ingridsback.htm
A text adventure from Level 9 (renowned within the 8-bit text-adventure gaming industry) with a decidedly Gnome-based theme, this one was the second in the series, the first being titled "Gnome Ranger" [zen_tom, Feb 23 2009]


       //they shriek loudly if you try to forcibly pull them off/   

       How does this part work? I mean, to make them shriek if touched you might use existing alarm technology, but this needs to be a bit cleverer, doesn't it?
pertinax, Feb 19 2009

       Sorry [xenzag] but I find the idea of a car en-knobbed by hundreds of shrieking dildo-gnomes a bit disturbing (not to mention contravening more traffic laws than I'd care to mention) - not a modification I can see taking off any time soon, not keen [-]
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       I am unaware of any laws banning the attachment of gnomes to cars, and who mentioned anything about dildoes? I think the fishing man gnome would be the perfect addition to a vehicle with a sun roof. (see link for prime example)
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       They're not specifically directed at Gnomes, but there are things about avoiding protrusions that might cause unpleasant injuries in the event of an accident (Jaguar's 'leaping cat' and Roll's figureheads being two examples that have come under pressure from these same laws)   

       The dildo thing was entirely me (spurred slightly on by the double entendre encased in the phrase "forcibly pull them off" - my juvenility) - but if you take away the fishing rods, and look through squinty eyes, you've got to admit some similarity.
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       Practicalities my dear Watson, practicalities.
[xandra] Those are parking gnomes - used instead of the usual ugly metal stumps to mark off car spaces. The ones in the photograph must be having a conference meeting. I think gnomes are excellent bakery material by the way...totally useless, and guaranteed to wind up and annoy the practically minded. I have lots more... as you will see, and the fish bones will not deter me!
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       Great, can't wait - can we pre-empt the more obvious versions here and now though, just to save time?
Here's a few to start off with:
Gnome Dildos
Gnome Wall Cladding
Gnome Washing Machine
Gnome Toilet
Gnome Rocket
Gnome Economy
Gnome Phone
Gnome Home
Chrome Gnome of St Jerome
Foam Gnome Clone
Gnome Biscuits
Gnome Sandwich
Gnome Custard
Gnome Cone (Ice cream and Traffic)
Gnome Bones (skeletal gnomes)
Gnome Hat
Gnome Mittens
Coat of a thousand Gnomes
Tromgnome (a musical instrument with pitch variance provided by a sliding fishing-rod)
The Guns of Nava-Gnome
Gnoman Empire Activity set
Gnom de Plume (anonymity service provided by Gnomes)
"I got a girl named Gnomey Moronie" (escort Gnomes)
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       None of those are as good as the ones I have. You forgot the G-nome by the way, which took years to unravel.
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       Ha, what do you mean - these are classics! (<under-breath>darn - how could I have missed G-nome!</ub>)   

       Actually, <thinks fast> those were just my rubbish ones - Chrome Gnome of St Jerome? - I mean really! <ub>curses!</ub> <adopt smug tone> You can use them if you like, I'm saving all my *really* good gnome ideas for later. Muahahahaha etc.</ast>
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       You also missed the famous wandering Gnomadic tribe - Ha indeed!! AND the lesser known coin collect Gnomestmatic - had enough yet?
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       We both missed Gnome Chomsky...which is actually quite a good one.
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       No - I had that one on my list.
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       I felt sure this would have smoked out [UB] by now.
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       Missed out sundial Gnomon Gnomes.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 19 2009

       Has there ever been a horror film featuring gnomes?
"Dawn of the Gnombies" ? Anyone friendly with John Carpenter here? He just might be interested you know... these things happen.
xenzag, Feb 19 2009

       Pher-'o-gnomes are good. They make you feel attracted to them.
blissmiss, Feb 19 2009

       //I felt sure this would have smoked out [UB] by now.// And where's Gnomethang when you need him?
zen_tom, Feb 19 2009

       Shirley there must be a hockey team in Alaska called the Nome Gnomes?   

       And what about Gnome on the Range? The Gnome Ranger? To Gnome Me is to Love Me? What's in a Gnome? A Gnome by any other gname would smell as sweet? Gnomes are a Girl's Best Friend? Gnome Hero for all your gaming consoles? And to paraphrase Roberto Duran "Gnome mas, gnome mas."   

       But before I sign off, "Is that a Gnome in your pocket or do you just really like this idea?"
Canuck, Feb 20 2009

       Can anyone explain the differences between goblins, hobgoblins, gnomes, dwarves, kobolds, ogres, trolls, brownies, pixies, elves and leprechauns?
zen_tom, Feb 20 2009

       Size and ethnicity, mostly. And the Guide Association.
coprocephalous, Feb 20 2009

       //And where's Gnomethang when you need him?//
I wouldn't touch 'em with yours, [zt]!
gnomethang, Feb 20 2009

       Bah, you gnomes, you're all the same!   

       That's it, I'm going over to the Smurfside:
Smurf Wine
Blue Smurf Group
Gnome-filled Speed Bumps (Ha - Take that you gnomes!)
Gnome Ham
Anti Personnel Smurfs
RPS (Rocket Propelled Smurfs)
zen_tom, Feb 20 2009

       What, no-one done the Paris subway gag yet?
coprocephalous, Feb 20 2009

       ...and what about PornoGnomes?
whoops, I found a link with some!!
xandram, Feb 20 2009

       Those nasty gnomes having sex are gross. I think I'm gonna have gnomie gnightmares tonight :-(
blissmiss, Feb 20 2009

       You See?. You see where this can lead?
D'Ya See Now?
gnomethang, Feb 21 2009

       [marked-for-deletion] in the interest of sanity. Gnomore - please! - but refuses to apologise, because it HAD to be done.   

       I would like it if this became the gnome ideas graveyard. So bring them here, and leave them. When there are none left, let's delete the lot, including that well known island near Boston, on the east coast of America.... Gnometucket, I believe it's called? You can shoot me, but I may duck at the last minute.
xenzag, Feb 22 2009

       just rename the post.... "Gnomenclature"
FlyingToaster, Feb 22 2009

       I love how they squeal when you try to steal them. That made me laugh. [+]
simonj, Feb 22 2009

       He's a real gnomewhere man living in a gnomewhere land...
blissmiss, Feb 22 2009

       The naming of everything to do with the little folk? Gnomenclature of course.
xenzag, Feb 22 2009

       Psst [xenzag] - that one's already taken.   

       Up there ^^^
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Feb 23 2009

       Loosing the plot! The Gnomes are closing in on me from all sides.
xenzag, Feb 23 2009

       Gnome they're not...
blissmiss, Feb 23 2009

       <Beware - liberties have been taken in the sentence below. You have been warned!>   

       The gnostic gnome gnawed upon a gnarled gnetum whilst tossing gneiss at a gnatchatcher which gnelt upon a gnathostome's gneck, gathering gnats until the gnomon signaled gnoon.
Canuck, Feb 24 2009

       That's it. Get it all out of your system. There's room for all in the Car Gnome,
xenzag, Feb 24 2009


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