Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Category Helper

Lately, I haven't been writing useful tag lines for my ideas. Sorry.
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Bert was almost done. All he had to do was go through the sophisticated Category Sorter, and the entire world would be able to view his idea, and maybe even work towards a better tomorrow.

"Alright. 'Question 1: Can it be held in an average man's hand?'" Bert was forced against his will to think. "Uh... yes I suppose. We mostly have big hands. 'Question 2: Is it edible, if not digestible?' Of course not. Brushed steel does not chew well. '3: Is it something a person would allow in their home?' Not if the wanted to keep their fingers," Bert chuffed. Had the program been able to read text, and subsequently analyze and extrapolate its meaning, it too would have realized that was a silly question. But as it was a simple 20 Questions-like progam, it lived in a rather binary world.

Several less interesting and hard to type out questions later, Bert and the program were finished, both relieved in their own little way. "Done. 'Suggested categories are... Health: Cloning, Product: Bottle Opener: Musical: Reggaeton, Product: Barometer: Unnecesarily Lethal, and Product: Brick.' Brilliant." Bert selected choice three, and clicked OK.

notmarkflynn, Mar 15 2006

Halfbakery keywords Sadly only 7 people voted. With 1 fishbone more than buns. [pashute, Mar 21 2011]


       "Mix one pound ground beef with Category Helper and simmer till brown".
normzone, Mar 15 2006

       sp. "binary".   

       This sounds good, if rather magical.
dbmag9, Mar 15 2006

       I've seen 20-Questions toys that can guess the words "monkey," "poop," "nipple," and "streelight," so I figure a specific set of questions should get you a few good categories to pick from. I can't really think of what questions, though...
notmarkflynn, Mar 15 2006

       Any question that comes up with "Reggaeton" as an answer should not be asked, Sir.
methinksnot, Mar 15 2006

       I was going to put Polka, but I felt it wasn't as current.
notmarkflynn, Mar 15 2006

       I've suddenly realized that I have no rival in life, no nemesis, no one to gauge myself against in trivial matters, no one to shake my fist at when their backs are turned.   

       Does anyone want to be my rival? Even for a little while?
notmarkflynn, Mar 15 2006

       How about "Them"? Rejecting your application to you-know-what and all that.
methinksnot, Mar 15 2006

       Could it be that you are Mark Flynn's nemesis?
methinksnot, Mar 15 2006

       Is there no one else? Is there no one else for [notmarkflynn] ?
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 16 2006

       Come on, it'll be a laugh! I don't want to have to resort to the whole "I'm actually my own enemy" thing from Fight Club, and various other movies and books.
notmarkflynn, Mar 16 2006

       You could always post an idea about FTL travel/communication using a perpetual motion machine initially powered by the screams of prisoners being punished. Make sure you don't mention custard, pirates or bluetooth.
You'll get a nemesis for sure.
methinksnot, Mar 16 2006

       I'll do it! What's the pay like? What do I have to do? Is boning all your ideas a requirement, or can I just post a witty saying everytime you post a crap idea. Something like "Foiled again, notmarkflynn!".   

       Do I get a costume?
dbmag9, Mar 16 2006

       <shutters at image and yet, is strangely and mildly aroused>
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 16 2006

       (sp. shudders)   

       Oh, OK then. I suppose that I shouldn't expect special treatment, after all.   

       So what do I have to do?
dbmag9, Mar 17 2006

       /(sp. shudders)/   

       No, shutters is right. I'm part camera. <Wink> Click. <Wink>
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 19 2006

       [dbmag9], all you have to do is speak disparagingly towards me, haughtily point out the flaws in my ideas and lifestyle, and, every now and then, throw in an insult accusing me of having homosexual relations or of being born to inbred dogs. I shall do the same to you. Eventually, one of us will win the argument, leaving the other to shake his fist at the winners back and curse his eyes.   

       Costumes are encouraged, but not required of participants.
notmarkflynn, Mar 20 2006

       sp: shitters
ConsulFlaminicus, Mar 20 2006

       Shitters not allowed.
notmarkflynn, Mar 20 2006

       I have accepted. Go to your weird aptitude test and ackowedge my inherent nemesisality.   

       Note that my duties are only applicable for ideas posted after this.   

       I have a costume ready. It's so stylish that I can't even begin to describe it to you.
dbmag9, Mar 24 2006

       >Does it involve genetic manipulation? Y
>Is it intended to light up the back of your car? Y
>Can people choose not use this idea without being punished for opting out? N

       >Suggested category: Halfbakery:Garbage Collection
phundug, Mar 24 2006

       2020 still needed
pashute, Jun 14 2020


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