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Charles III - Reiki master

Bring back touching for the King's Evil
  (+8, -2)
(+8, -2)
  [vote for,

In days of yore, the monarchs of England, France and i think Scotland, used to lay on hands to treat scrophula and probably other conditions, i'm not sure. This practice continued in the Jacobite succession until "Henry IX", but was discontinued with the House of Stuart because George I regarded it as "too Catholic". Hence, Charles I and II both practiced it.

Now we have a Prince of Wales who is unusually keen on complementary and alternative medicine. I would not be surprised if he also believes in Reiki. An opportunity may soon arise to revive touching for the King's Evil, in a sense: initiate the Prince of Wales as a Reiki Master.

On becoming king, he would then be able to lay on hands in accordance with both the royal tradition and the precepts of those who believe in Reiki. He has also expressed a wish to be regarded as "defender of faith" rather than "defender of _the_ faith". This would include Roman Catholicism.

Why would this be good?

a) If Reiki depends on an effective placebo effect, medical conditions for several groups of people will improve in any case, namely royalists, Catholics, Jacobites and believers in Reiki.

b) It could give the King a useful social role in the NHS, and the royalty would be perceived as less of a waster of money.

c) It would encourage medical tourism in a more literal sense than the way the term is currently used.

d) It would provide common ground between the otherwise widely different groups which are adherents of alternative medicine, Roman Catholics and Protestants.

e) It would be a gesture of conciliation to Roman Catholics, and therefore could improve the relationship between the Churches of Rome and England, and the long-lasting political wounds caused by the schism, particularly over the Irish Sea and in Liverpool and Glasgow.

f) It accords with the future king's views on medicine and lets him do something in accordance with those beliefs.

g) It would mean that all the Charlies, including Bonnie Prince Charlie, would have touched for the King's Evil, which is neater than only three of them doing so.

I think this should be done regardless of whether Reiki actually works, and even though i'm a republican.

nineteenthly, Sep 04 2008

Reiki http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reiki
[8th of 7, Sep 04 2008]

Some reasons Chuck may not want to be Charles III http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_III
[coprocephalous, Sep 05 2008]


       Henry Ninth?
po, Sep 04 2008

       [po] Flattery!

I think Reiki should be combined with Homeopathy - we'll call it "Reikeopathy". To cure you of whatever you've got (rickets, leukemia, a broken leg, etc.), the Reikeopath just has to barely form the idea on the edge of their subconscious of _not_ touching you.
hippo, Sep 04 2008

       Who says he's going to be King Charles?
He could use any of his four given names.
Personally, I'd like to see a new King Arthur, and the return of Camelot (assuming they lose the National Lottery gig next time it's up for renewal)
coprocephalous, Sep 04 2008

       "Henry IX" (in quotes) was the last Jacobite pretender to the thrones of England, Scotland and France to make a serious claim to them. The current Jacobite "king" is Francis II, and amazingly there are still Jacobites.   

       [Hippo], truth is stranger than fiction. I once had some "emergency colour therapy" (for free) where someone in Tunbridge Wells went into a room and thought about a colour for me. What you described might actually happen. I don't think it matters whether it works or not anyway.   

       [Coprocephalus], he doesn't actually like his name because he thinks Charles has negative associations, and it's been suggested he styles himself George VII, but if he did that it would make his Reiki masterness less neat, so if he ends up calling himself something else i'd rather he didn't.   

       He's probably never going to be king anyway, if his mother lives as long as hers did.
nineteenthly, Sep 04 2008

       //...someone in Tunbridge Wells went into a room and thought about a colour for me...// - I could probably code all that in Javascript - hmmm, maybe there's money to be made here...
hippo, Sep 04 2008

       //I could probably code all that in Javascript //
But how do you ensure that the Java always runs in Tunbridge Wells, and not, for instance, in the less regal plain Wells in Somerset?
coprocephalous, Sep 04 2008

       A new application for the Turing Test perhaps? A bank of servers thinking about different colours for people? Papayawhip?
nineteenthly, Sep 04 2008

       Boston Priest: " It was Reiki, I swear!"
4whom, Sep 04 2008

       You make a flawless and bulletproof case. This should be done. Perhaps even before he is King, as a reiki initiate, or humble reiki padwan. He might take on things less than the King's Evil, perhaps the Prince's Badness or some such. This would hone his Reiki skills.
bungston, Sep 04 2008

       Yep, reiki works. And I am as sceptical as they come. I give reiki to myself almost every day and to others occasionally.
zeno, Sep 05 2008

       I wonder if Reiki has a Dark Side...?
hippo, Sep 05 2008

       //I wonder if Reiki has a Dark Side...?//
After a lads trip to Marmaris, I know that raki does.
coprocephalous, Sep 05 2008


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