Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The word "How?" springs to mind at this point.

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Chewing Spectacles

read my lips and my teeth
  [vote for,

Chewing Spectacles are a pair of glasses that have their eyepieces fashioned into two open mouths. These are complete with detailed inflated lips to hold the lenses in place and a set of upper and lower front teeth.

When someone is saying something, and you want to stop the conversation in its tracks, you switch your glasses unto "chewing mouth" mode.

Doing this activates the miniature motors that power the lips and teeth, which can assume a large range of motions based on careful and through analysis of mouth gestures, generally connected to the process of eating. Each mouth lens is capable of either independent or coordinated action. The ability to see through the glasses is only partially obscured by this action.

Chewing Spectacles come in male or female mode. Male mode can feature upper lip moustache hair of choice. Female and male lips can be botox enhanced, or made as replicas of famous celebrities. The teeth can also be fully customised on demand, ranging from "Kardashion Ultra Bleach" to "Hillbilly Rotted Stumps".

Chewing Spectacles come complete with a programmable hand held device to activate and control their use.

Makers not responsible for anything that happens during their deployment.

xenzag, Jan 24 2019


       What, no prosthetic remote-controlled tongue to allow you to idly clean your glasses while someone's talking to you?
hippo, Jan 24 2019

       I had thought of a cleaning tongue, but there is no real room for storing it unless it's a very linear version.
xenzag, Jan 24 2019

       Yes - a woodpecker, for example, has a long (10cm) thin tongue which it retracts and coils up behind its brain. There should be space for such a tongue in one of the arms of these glasses.
hippo, Jan 24 2019

       Glasses have brains, now ? Who knew, huh ? Must be what's meant by "smart eyewear" ...   

       Some humans chew the ends of the side-pieces of their spectacles. From the idea title, we thought this would be a design for replaceable flavoured attachments for side-pieces to protect them from damage, yet still provide the wearer with something to satisfy their oral cravings.
8th of 7, Jan 24 2019

       Too easy.
xenzag, Jan 24 2019

       I can think of absolutely no alternative uses for a long prosthetic tongue.
Voice, Jan 25 2019

       I thought this was going to be a spare pair of glasses with chewable earpieces.
nineteenthly, Jan 25 2019

       I originally thought this would be a pair of glasses to wear while chewing stuff, in the same way as "reading glasses" are glasses to wear while reading - "Lunchtime? - hang on, I'll just put on my chewing spectacles".
hippo, Jan 25 2019

       My intention is to stop conversations. Flavoured objects that you can casually chew on, like pens, pencils, rulers glasses etc are all baked on this site. (I have always assumed)
xenzag, Jan 25 2019


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