h a l f b a k e r y
It might be better to just get another gerbil.
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I would love to learn how to speak Chinese, but I'm lucky if I can pronounce the crazy consonant and vowel sounds, let alone also manage the upward and downward inflections that are required in order to be understood.
The China Helper is a voice-modifying speaker that sits in front of your mouth.
A wire runs down to your pocket where there is a four-button "keyboard", one for each of the four "tones".
Now your tongue can concentrate on saying "djang" instead of "dzhang", while you mentally control the inflection using your fingers.
||There's a lot more between me and the Chinese languages (I know of Mandarin and Cantonese, are there others?) and myself than voice inflection.
||<cringe> I read the title and thought "this will be about an oriental version of Hamburger Helper".