Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clothing Optional Airline

Save the customs folks the effort of a strip search...
  [vote for,

One of the surest results of the Current Situation is hightened airport security.

If you fly on Jaybird Airlines, you perform your own strip-search, checking your clothes along with the rest of your baggage.

At your destination, you clear customs quickly --"I've got nothing to declare but what you see before you..."-- collect your baggage, dress, and continue on your merry way.

MrWrong, Sep 14 2001

Hooters Air http://www.hootersa...m/about/advantages/
Not clothing optional [hippo, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Naked-Air http://www.naked-air.com/
Caution: Photos of naked airline passengers! [Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       There was an ad for one of the American airlines in Spanish that said "siente en cuerdo" (on our planes). They were trying to say "sit in leather on our planes," but in Spanish it came out as "sit naked on our planes."
arghblah, Sep 17 2001

       I can’t imagine anything less appealing than flying this way. I tried nude driving once. It was only then, too late, well along on the highway, that I realized how low down my car really was, and how high up were the drivers in those 18 wheelers.
pluterday, Mar 07 2003

       Even nudists can smuggle prohibited items :-O
zardoz, Jun 30 2003

       National Nude Day is coming up again here. This time two of our national flights are going to be all nude, and everyone has been asked to bring a sheet to sit on, ew.   

       The unfair part is that men could probably hide all their bits under the lap belt buckle. Especially [blea].
Helium, May 05 2004

       Baked <link>
Klaatu, May 05 2004

       [zardoz] Nice emoticon with your comment. Made me laugh.
booleanfool, May 05 2004

       Pilot report during accident investigation: “I kept pulling on the stick but nothing happened . . . well, I mean it didn't affect the aircraft but it did seem to affect the stick itself.”
bristolz, May 05 2004

       [bz] don't know if you are aware, but pilots are required to wear something when flying. I'll try to find the relevant FAR for you. On Naked-Air, the pilots and the flight safety crew are required to remain clothed at all times.
Klaatu, May 05 2004

       [Klaatu] Yes, but the Naked-Air pilots wear transparent clothing so as not to make the passengers feel out of place.
booleanfool, May 05 2004

       what about the stewardesses?
swimr, May 05 2004

       Not to mention the free preview of nuts inflight.
python, May 07 2004

       Optional? Hell, if you extrapolate, I can easily imagine having to stuff your clothes and carry-on luggage into a checked carry on bag, which the airline will store in the luggage.   

       You then are issued paper gowns to wear for the duration of the flight.   

       No Cell phones, ipods, key-fobs, liquids? I wonder what percentage of people flying don't have at least one of these things? (most cars now have remote door locks).   

       Why stop there? Why don't they just anesthize all passengers for the flights' duration after they are seated?
Zimmy, Aug 10 2006

       For security reasons, maybe nudity should be compulsory. I know people could still secrete things in cavities, but it'd be more difficult.
nineteenthly, Aug 10 2006


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