Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cobblers On Stilts

With The Hamiltons
  (+5, -6)
(+5, -6)
  [vote for,

I just watched Louis Theroux Meets The Hamiltons. Their pilot show "Posh Nosh With The Hamiltons" looked like the worst programme ever. But all is not lost. During one of her many pissed interludes, Christine Hamilton uttered the phrase "cobblers on stilts" which sounds like the name of a much better programme.

Picture it. Neil and Christine visit provincial English towns meet cobblers who cobble while wearing stilts. We get to see the couple craning their necks in 20 foot high countryside workshops, squinting, attempting to determine if the shoe on the last is a pump or a sandal.

Christine asks semi-sensible questions about uppers and soles before quaffing some wine. Said questions elicit heavily-accented responses from surly shoemakers. Neil walks about "like a marionette."

It could be the new Watercolour Challenge.
calum, Dec 14 2001

Neil Hamilton http://www.neil-hamilton-is-innocent.com
[calum, Dec 15 2001]

More Hamiltons http://politics.gua...9115,617595,00.html
For some reason, the Guardian doesn't like them. [calum, Dec 15 2001]

Hamilton satire http://www.thebrain...rticle.15.1952.html
"Hamiltons Stage Live Sex Show In Effort To Clear Their Name" [-alx, Dec 17 2001]

Neil Hamilton's friends http://www.silentma...bit/bookreview.html
With friends like these, &c. [pottedstu, Dec 17 2001]


       I'm out of my cultural depth on this one
bristolz, Dec 15 2001

       The Hamiltons in a cage at the zoo; feeding time -- would be much more fun.   

       Although I agree Mrs H does have a range of most peculiar phrases.
po, Dec 15 2001

       As long as the programme isn't aired while I'm eating.
st3f, Dec 15 2001

       Sorry, my parochialism is showing.
calum, Dec 15 2001

       How easy is it to quaff white wine and pop pills while on stilts, do you think?
Guy Fox, Dec 15 2001

       Wouldn't it be easier to just change the channel?
phoenix, Dec 15 2001

       Bristolz, don't feel bad. For some reason, this one is over my head too...
StarChaser, Dec 16 2001

       there are some things Star that you just do not need to know, believe me
po, Dec 16 2001

       I'm not even going to give this idea any battery space...
stupop, Dec 17 2001

       They used to live in Bromley, just down the road from my parents. Nice house, too.
lewisgirl, Dec 17 2001

       Excited as I am by the idea that anything could be the new Watercolour Challenge, anything that gives those beings of pure evil more publicity must be fishboned at speed.
pottedstu, Dec 17 2001

       It is true, then. I am the only person who feels any sympathy for the Hamiltons. The fact that the man was a corrupt politician (the Courts said so) and she came across as a metal-haired battle-axe does not excuse the terrible time that they get from the press. They never asked for those allegations of sexual assault.

Or give their lawyer his own show - a more uncaring and detached professional I have never met. And I am a lawyer (of sorts).
calum, Dec 17 2001

       calum: You're not quite the only person who has sympathy, but you do have rather unsavoury bedfellows, like journalist Paul Johnson. The big problem with hating the Hamiltons is that their chief enemy is Mohammed Fayed, a genuinely evil man (liar, racist, thief, conman, tax evader, conspiracy theory fantasist, serial sexual harasser...)   

       The reason the Guardian hates Neil Hamilton is because he sued them for large amounts of money for claiming he was corrupt, allegations which were subsequently revealed to be entirely true, leading to the collapse of the case. People tend not to like having that sort of thing done to them.
pottedstu, Dec 17 2001

       um, p'stu, mind the libel there.
lewisgirl, Dec 17 2001

       lewisgirl: Al-Fayed was branded a liar by a British Department of Trade report into his business dealings in 1990. His racist comments and maltreatment of his staff have been widely documented in the media and the subject of a number of industrial tribunals. When Vanity Fair accused Fayed of being racist and sexist, he sued but then rapidly dropped the case. He was also accused of stealing gems from a Harrods safe deposit box and paid substantial compensation (1.4 million GBP) without admitting guilt. There are lengthy reports on his business dealings throughout the financial press from the 1970s onwards. His conspiracy theories regarding the death of his son (at the hands of the MI6, he claims) are well known. His duping of Neil Hamilton, Fayed working with the Guardian, was a major factor in Hamilton's fall. I don't want to clutter up the page with links, but the facts are widely available.
pottedstu, Dec 18 2001


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