Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Cocktail dunking biscuits

  [vote for,

With early man, it was fire. With the Wright brothers, the aeroplane. With de Løemer, the self-righting hammock. With Plimsoll, the line.

My own personal epiphany has just happened, and it is the cocktail dunking biscuit. Chance favours the prepared mind, and in my case that chance was the inadvertent dropping of a Hovis digestive biscuit into a particularly aggressive gin martini. Not wanting to waste either, I naturally ate the biscuit, and it was good.

But this is merely the beginning, the merest embryo of an innovation. Hovis digestives, being designed for dunking into tea, are not optimal as cocktail dunking biscuits. Even the Hobnob - a Colossus amongst dunkable biscuits - will not serve this need. What is needed, clearly, is a range of biscuits tailored to specific alcoholic beverages. For example, the ideal martini-dunking biscuit would be savoury rather than sweet, and have a salty punch to it. Bloody Marys deserve something that can balance the slow burn of tabasco. For the Mohito, perhaps something smoky with a hint of dark, bitter chocolate.

In short, prepare to set sail across an entire continent of biscuit/cocktail pairings. The possibilities and, above all, the profits are unlimitless.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 01 2019

The Road To Wellville https://www.imdb.co...01/?ref_=fn_al_tt_1
Hilarious, yet deeply disturbing, particualrly the Yoghurt Room ... [8th of 7, Jun 02 2019]


       There is a combination of Italian biscuit and a type of sherry that come as a paired experience. Biscotti dipped in Vin Santo.
xenzag, Jun 02 2019

       Yes, yes, we remember Nice biscuits, but what would you pair them with; something with pastis, perhaps, on geographical grounds?
pertinax, Jun 02 2019

       Digestives is a name of something you're supposed to put in your mouth then?   

       A boozy dipping biscuit seems interesting enough, but I wouldn't use the word "digestive" anywhere near the package. Like.. Gastro-Treats or something. Don't like to think about the guts part when I'm eating. Or drinking.   

       That being said this could be your million dollar idea. People already eat stuff in martinis for instance. Olives. Then those Bloody Mary drinks with the celery.   

       Which begs the point, how absorbent would these things be? Would they dissolve if you didn't eat them fast enough? Would they be "absorbent yet firm"? (Don't use that line in your advertising either.) Crunchy on the inside, spongy on the outside to catch the booze?   

       I have lots of questions before I invest.   

       [+] though.
doctorremulac3, Jun 02 2019

       Ouzo and shortbread. Although, it usually depends on the quality of spirits.
wjt, Jun 02 2019

       //Digestives is a name of something you're supposed to put in your mouth then? // Digestives are what you call (I think) Graham crackers.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 02 2019

       Ah. I believe those where brought to us by the same guy who invented breakfast cereal as a way to stop masturbation or something.   

       I'm proud of how my vague recollection muddled the facts in that statement because it's probably more interesting than what actually happened.
doctorremulac3, Jun 02 2019

       // the same guy who invented breakfast cereal as a way to stop masturbation or something //   

       That would be the infamous Dr. Kellogg, proprietor of the equally notorious Battle Creek Sanitarium ... <link>
8th of 7, Jun 02 2019

       Yea, that's right.   

       So was the idea to keep one's hands busy eating crackers so they couldn't get into trouble elsewhere?   

       Wait a moment... hold on... this just in... I just totally lost interest in the subject. Never mind.
doctorremulac3, Jun 02 2019


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