h a l f b a k e r y
Idea vs. Ego
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Most cars these days start with the press of a button or, in
some cases, the turn of a key. Such is the reliability of
modern engines that they simply go whirrrr-brrrr and are
running smoothly. How incredibly dull.
MaxCoMotion (a metastasis of our Domestic Appliance and
is incredibly pleased to announce
launch of its range of retrofittable Coffman starters for
virtually all popular vehicles, from Jaguars all the way down
Installation requires a little reconfiguration of the engine,
the installation of the breech-block on top of the bonnet.
firing mechanism can be wired to your existing push-button
key start but, for enhanced appearance, can be installed as
three-position caged "SAFE-ARM-START" toggle switch on
dashboard. Cartridges are widely available, but note that it
very important only to use blanks, in order to extend engine
Should the first charge fail to get things running, a second
usually suffice. However, fans of the original "Flight of the
Phoenix" may prefer to use one charge to clean out the
cylinders, creating a satisfying burst of smoke from the
exhaust as well as the loud noise. If you can find a small
German man to run at you yelling "No!" as you do this, so
||Will there be a version for lawnmowers ?
||I've always had aversion for lawnmowers. That's why I have
||// That's why I have gardeners //
||Are those the same ones who buy all those crates marked "LIVE MOLES - WITH CARE" ?
||No, the moles are for the Drainpipe Polishing (Internal) sub-
team. They work really well (the moles, that is), as long as
you can get the breech-block attached securely to the end of
the drainpipe, and don't overdo the charge. The only real
difficulty is in finding 4 1/4" moles.
||We understand that the best techniques is to bundle three or four of them together using a zip-tie, which also acts as a scraper.
||No, a single mole works better, as long as you can find one
the right size. For larger pipes and drains, of course, we use
||Using Shitzus for anything other than sewerage
pipes seems a bit ostentatious. For ordinary
drainpipes use plumbing snakes like the rest of us.