Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Collection boxing gloves

Your dog food
  [vote for,

You have a permanent shopping list. That is the nature of life. You also have enemies. That is your way of life, a life of alleged shoplifting and shopping centres. Keep the list of your enemies close, because these gloves will automatically lunge out whenever a necessity or enemy comes near.
4and20, May 16 2016


       This idea is filled with meaning. If anyone figures out how to get it open, let me know.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 16 2016

       A. I don't have a permanent shopping list. I have all that I need.   

       B. I have no enemies, I love everyone.   

       C. I don't shoplift, or steal, or go to shopping centers.   

       D. I hate gloves, they make my hands sweat.   

       End of story, end of idea.
blissmiss, May 17 2016

       Only really really clever people like me can understand this brilliantly oblique higher concept idea and see its...   

       I'm lying, I have no idea what's going on.
doctorremulac3, May 17 2016

       I'm picturing a paranoid street person, who lives on stolen dog food because they're too poor to steal person-food, but has a magic pair of boxing gloves. At least, the person experiences them as magic, because they have lost the intuition that the mechanisms which read the greasy-envelope lists and swing the gloves are, in fact, their own eyes and arms. That kind of dissociation might be found together with the paranoia that keeps lists of enemies. [nineteenthly] might be able to shed more light there. I mean, as an expert, not as a crazy dog-food-eating person.   

       Did I win?
pertinax, May 17 2016

       If you use all the letters that [4and20] used, but just change the order, you can get a very precise description of the design of the intake cowling for the Eurofighter. You get a few letters left over, but it's still quite striking.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 17 2016

       There. I've re-arranged the words to make a little more sense.   

       "You have gloves whenever shoplifting or a shopping list, you also automatically have shopping centers enemies, near and permanent. That is the nature of these. And your alleged enemies will lunge out. A necessity of life is keep the list close because of a enemy comes of you that way, life."   

       Simplification: You're a shoplifter, you've got your gloves, list of things to steal or whatever, but you've got people to look out for, security guards, merchants looking out for shoplifters etc. It's something all shopping centers have. They'll get you, so part of keeping your lifestyle going is to hide your list of things to steal because if somebody sees it, hey, they'll get you and that's life.   

       Eh, best I could do. Sort of flamed out at the end when I had a bunch or random words left.
doctorremulac3, May 17 2016

       Hey, there's a halfbakery idea in there someplace.   

       Somebody could develop a translator that you drop one of the more...unique...ideas into, and it would re-parse it into something hopefully more intelligible.
normzone, May 17 2016

       I was thinking the same thing, then I fizzled out.   

       Have at it Norm. Could be interesting.
doctorremulac3, May 17 2016

       Sigh ? !!!
popbottle, May 18 2016

       [doctor], I think we ought to collaborate, or collude on said idea. I'm not able to carry that weight by mineself.   

       We're going to need an engine that masquerades as an AI, but is really only a grammar donkey.   

       Oh, and it should look for clues in the text to help it pick appropriate categories and titles.
normzone, May 18 2016

       I agree, there's something in there.   

       Somewhat along these lines, but not, I was wondering how hard it would be create a program that merged multiple stories. So you input Moby Dick, Star Wars and, I dont know, Cinderella and it somehow puts all the stories together into a 4th story about A space whale who falls in love with Darth Vader or something.
doctorremulac3, May 18 2016

       The plot-lines of "Alien vs Predator", "Snakes on a Plane" and "Speed" were all generated in precisely that way.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 18 2016

       Re-jiggering a paragraph or three is a challenge - calculating story arc development and climax is a tougher beast when you blend a few tales.
normzone, May 18 2016

       The writer discovered today this first sentence on the most recent book that was being read before posting this idea, page 116 of a Patrick Leigh Fermor memoir:   

       "the great angular cowl of the barbican gave the pile an airy, lifted, slightly improbable look, and the closely spaced parade of the perpindicular buttresses made the upward thrust still more impetuous."   

       Strange that Max, who has professed such doubt about psychic phenomena, has "lifted" something here, although thankfully not the writer's perpindicular buttresses.   

       Stranger still, the word "furphy", which was taken note of in the same book, is the word of the day today on dictionary.com
4and20, May 19 2016

       I'm not understanding the part of that annotation where you were writing.
doctorremulac3, May 19 2016

       Is there not some form of Halfbakery subpoena that can compel [4and] to appear and explain himself?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 20 2016

       ^ There is, but the phrase " ...and pubicly explain, in an open forum... " has kept one from being issued.   

       The wording would have been changed, but editing guidelines caution "the penis, mightier than the sword".   

       At which time everybody agreed that alcohol or a certain lack of sincerity might have been involved.
FlyingToaster, May 20 2016

       I had recently stopped on the first sentence of that Fermor book because I didn't know what a "cowl" or much of the rest of it means.   

       I postponed answering out of shame, since I don't really know what a (modern) "cowling" is either, although, oddly enough, Google pulls up a pdf explanation for the intake cowling of a Eurofighter.   

       It is entirely possible that modern cowlings have some automatic features which mirror shoplifting. Perhaps someone with a dual interest in aerodynamics and psychic phenomena can make the necessary distinction.   

       I did notice, after trying to understand my own annotation (if, in fact, I did write it), that "impetuous" perpindicular buttresses could be interpreted as automatic boxing gloves.
4and20, May 21 2016

       It reads roughly the same backwards as forwards.
FlyingToaster, May 21 2016

       Where does the spear come into play?   

       This idea has a poetic quality that borders on the rcarty (Wheel-Wing period).   

       I was imagining cartoon gloves on scissor arms which somehow have the dexterity to pick things up, but maybe [pertinax]'s interpretation is more accurate.
mitxela, May 21 2016

       Well, I'm looking at some of your other ideas and see nothing to suggest you don't know how to communicate via the written word so... barring your having suffered some organic brain malfunction, (and my sympathies if that's the case) I'm assuming this is a put-on.   

       Nothing at all wrong with that, perhaps you're seeing how much reaction you can get to a series of random concepts tenuously linked together in a "sort of makes a little sense but not really" fashion. That's perfectly fine if that's the case, but on the odd chance you're under the impression that any of this makes sense you might want to see a doctor. A real doctor, not a fake one like me.   

       Bring a printout of this and say "I wrote this and posted it on the internet." He'll ask you a few questions and take it from there.   

       If this is just a goof, very good. We all had a jolly good time. Well played.
doctorremulac3, May 21 2016

       Could it be that this idea originally was written with different words changed by the smartphone word-suggesting app?   

       In which case the originality of the idea would be that a smartphone actually wrote it (perhaps in a way that other smartphones, and only they, would understand)   

       OK, I'm off to lunge.
pashute, May 22 2016

       You know, Siri regularly mistranslates things I say to it through simple misunderstanding. Maybe that's what's happening.
doctorremulac3, May 22 2016

       Hang on a second.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 22 2016

       Are you thinking this is some kind of code?   

       Holy smokes! It it a code! And I uh... totally know what it says.   

       Anybody else? Let's see if you've figured it out too!
doctorremulac3, May 22 2016

       I was thinking it was less of a code and more of a symptom.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 22 2016

       Hmm. Maybe it's a shifted word code, like the classic shifted letter code but where you compose your message and then write it out with the word after that word in the dictionary. Let me try that.   

       Collection Boxing Gloves = College Boy Glue   

       Your Dog Food = Youth Dollar Foot   

       College Boy Glue Youth Dollar Foot   

       Hmm. Maybe not.
doctorremulac3, May 22 2016

       So we have gloves to facilitate our necessary shopping and shoplifting, and to throttle our enemies forthwith. Whether or not they take our dog food from us. Simple.
whatrock, May 22 2016

       Wait; boxing gloves can't throttle anyone, they're the wrong shape. Watch! </LastWords>
pertinax, May 23 2016


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