Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
It's not a thing. It will be a thing.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Combing and Going

Automatic cat grooming cat flap tube thing
  [vote for,

I know a little pussy
Her coat is quite neglected
The washing-with-the-tongue thing
She hasn't quite perfected
And although she'll let you stroke her
A comb will make her scat
For she's an awkward bitch from hell
Otherwise known as a cat

To help to solve this problem
I thought of something new
A tube containing bristles
That cats push themselves through
Unlike those old style cat flaps
This tube will make her gleam
And save my hands from getting scratched
A nifty little scheme

In length around 6 inches
(Not short and not too long)
With brushes on the inside
(Not soft yet not too strong)
Two disks of plastic, soft and clear
With slits in, fore and aft
Let the felines push on through
And stop the windy draught

It replaces the old cat flap
At the same place in the door
The covers can be nudged aside
With forehead, nose or paw
The snug fit of the Comb and Go
Will reassure your kitty
And massage him from top to toe
And leave him looking pretty

With each trip to the great outdoors
The tangles get a comb
And another on the way back in
When Whiskers comes on home
So every time the puss goes out
His coat gets smoother and cleaner
And before your eyes, your pet becomes
Impeccably groomed and serener

squeak, Jan 18 2006

Draught http://dictionary.r...om/search?q=draught
which rhymes with aft [jonthegeologist, Jan 18 2006]

Cat Flap with Stiff Brush and Anti-flea Flea-catching_20cat_20flap
[Helium, Jan 19 2006]


       [+] This seems like a marketable idea --and advertising with Poetry- love it.
xandram, Jan 18 2006

       'aft' and 'draught' rhyme perfectly well [21 Quest]. See link.
jonthegeologist, Jan 18 2006

       [21] Get you!
squeak, Jan 18 2006

       Bah! I say, mere details. [+]
skinflaps, Jan 18 2006

       Absolutely brilliant.   

       My great-auntie Maggie used to stroke her dog with a coal shovel, because the daft mutt got itself all tangled up in a pile of fish-hooks and to have stroked it with her hand would have resulted in bloodshed.
salachair, Jan 18 2006

       For the Fastidious:
To clean it you could either use your hand (getting hi-tech here), like you would pull fluff out of any brush or you could use this thing I just happen to have here that looks like a loo-brush with very stiff bristles. You stick it in the tube (first making sure cat is absent) and twizzle it to rake the cat hair out of the tube's bristles.
squeak, Jan 18 2006

       The OED doesn't include the word "serener," but poetic license may extend far enough to cover.
bristolz, Jan 18 2006

       "Never saw the grass look greener,
Never saw the sky serener
What a lot of fun for everyone
Sleeping in the Sun all day" - The Sun has got his hat on - Ambrose & his Orchestra. (Also Nemo aka Jonathan King)
coprocephalous, Jan 19 2006

       Puss also seems to undergo a sex change between first and last stanzas, but that's a mere pedantic stylistic quibble.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 19 2006

       They are two different cats.   

       In the first two stanzas I am clearly talking about my personal experience of a cat that I know who happens to be female. In fact, I actually say "*I* know a little pussy".   

       In the third verse, the line "Lets *the felines* push on through" equally clearly refers to all cats. I am speaking of cats in general.   

       The last two stanzas contain references to "your kitty" and "your pet", I am manifestly now speaking of a different beast than in the first verse (also sneakily moving from *my* problem of cat brushing to *your* problem of cat brushing convincing you that this is a necessary item and making you all say how marvellous this invention is and how did we ever do without it, did you notice?) and may call him male if I so please.   

       So ner.
squeak, Jan 19 2006

       //I actually say "*I* know a little pussy".//   

       Well, many of us do, but gentlemen don't brag about it.
ConsulFlaminicus, Jan 19 2006


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle