Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The phrase 'crumpled heap' comes to mind.

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Corporate Suit Chute.

Lifts your spirits as you decend.
  [vote for,

In miserable old blighty, it's hard to remember that some office workers are currently sweating through another sweltering day. At least, it is until [UnaBubba] reminds you...

When you work in a small office, it's easy to forget that some people have to cue up to use the elevator. Well, until [silverstormer] mentions it...

So for people who are too busy or too hot to enjoy the Saunavator (yesterday's idea), or for those allergic to pine, I've come up with the Corporate Suit Chute. Still designed to de-stress workers as they leave the office at the end of a tough day, this one cools you down, whilst allowing more throughput.

Deposit your clothes in the dumb waiter - they'll begin their decent to the ground floor. Fling yourself into the chute, the sort you'd find at a water park. You find yourself hurtling down 30 storeys, the wind whistling through your hair, the water splashing everywhere, and revitalising your senses, interesting twists and turns.

You laugh as you precariously swerve to avoid crashing into Joanne from the 23rd floor who joins you at a tube junction (there are entrances to this elaborate slide on every floor). Eventually, you land in the small pool on the ground floor, and quickly get out, before the next worker crashes down behind you. The physical danger is a welcome change from the 8 hours of office mediocrity.

As you get out of the pool, your work worries lost somewhere around the 17th floor, an assistant hands you a particularly fluffy towelling robe, and a piece of Turkish delight. You don't have to have Turkish delight if you don't like it.

Fishrat, Nov 19 2003

The Saunavator http://www.halfbakery.com/idea/Saunavator
[Fishrat, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

(?) Would you take the suit chute if you worked... http://www.awaji-na...eing/midori/dam.jpg
here? Gulp. [Fishrat, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Dull and raining here so I'll stick to the Saunavator. But I'll take a smoothie in with me.
Fishrat, Nov 19 2003

       Curse these modern three-storey buildings. I can hardly get the momentum up.
st3f, Nov 19 2003

       Wheeeeeeee. Nice one.   

       Except in my workplace this would go. Whe....was that it, then?
squeak, Nov 19 2003

       //some people have to cue up to use the elevator//
Steve Davis is claustrophobic so he always takes the stairs.
calum, Nov 19 2003

       No reason he can't join in on the fun. Simply release several thousand gallons of water from above, and watch him g-g-g-g-go.
thumbwax, Nov 19 2003

       Wouldn't have liked to be in the way of Bill Werbeniuk.
PeterSilly, Nov 19 2003

       'specially if he was coming down cue first... RIP Big Bill.
Fishrat, Nov 19 2003

       Three things I don't like about this idea:
1) Dislocated rotator cuff from slipping on discarded Turkish delight at edge of pool.
2) Slamming into Joanne from 23rd floor on day twelve.
3) Working in the basement of the building under the pool.
k_sra, Nov 19 2003

       Sour grapes, k_sra, and you know it! Still, convince a newbie to create an anti-gravity machine, and you can slide up the tube from the basement.
Fishrat, Nov 19 2003

       Into the pool? That's the question. The true irony here is that I gave you a bun like an idiot.
k_sra, Nov 19 2003

       //Into the pool?// Might require magic.
Fishrat, Nov 19 2003

       [ks] could ride the elevator up first (since nobody will use it anymore anyway).   

       (after a moment's thought) Actually, the elevator might be a bit more busy using this system with everyone trying to go up to the top floor.
Worldgineer, Nov 19 2003

       Yours and yours alone, [UB].
k_sra, Nov 19 2003

       Bun for you, [Fishrat]. But I get my taste of danger on the drive home...
tpoo22, Nov 19 2003

       ooh I like this even more than the saunavator. it peaked at 34 here in Melbourne yesterday so the 'Corp Suit Chute' would prob suit me more at this time of year.   

       Perhaps you could languish afterward in the Corporate Suite?
seedy em, Nov 19 2003

       Almost all the buildings around here are single storey. But +, in principle.
Detly, Nov 19 2003

       [Detley] If your workplace built the pool and turkish delight counter in the basement, this would effectively give you an extra floor to zoom down. Not as good as 30 floors, but enough for the actual slides/tubes at my local baths which inspired the idea.   

       [UB] Put your trunks on, for gawld's sake.
Fishrat, Nov 20 2003

       Nice idea [Fishrat] (+). Can I have a blob of Marmite on my Turkish delight please?
dobtabulous, Nov 20 2003

       I remember someone baking, I think, wooden horses as a mode of transport, that ran on rails and could be "steered" to your desination, So Joanne from the 23rd floor, slides down the water chute in the buff, eats the obligatory Turkish delight, hops, Lady Godiva style onto her wooden horse and giddyups all the way home, Wow! what a way to end the day....
Micky Dread, Nov 20 2003

       All because of a misfired pun.
Detly, Nov 20 2003

       That wasn't her pun misfiring.
Fishrat, Nov 21 2003

       "Hello, Joanne's phone, can I help? No, I'm afraid she's not with the company anymore. Dobtabulous? No he's having his stomach pumped right now. Can I help? Hello...?"
Fishrat, Nov 22 2003

       //he's having his stomach pumped//   

       Stomach if he's lucky.
Detly, Nov 23 2003

       As refreshing today as it was a year ago. Fabulous [Fishrat]!
dentworth, Nov 23 2004


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