Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Biofeedback swear remover
  (+2, -5)
(+2, -5)
  [vote for,

Cuss-B-gone consists of a small but high speed computer worn discretely on the body and hooked up by wires to a small patch worn on the throat, ala TENS. With a basic AI type program, and biofeedback from the patch, the computer learns which throat muscles are used to utter cuss words and nullify them with electrical stimuli.

Stimuli may consist of temporary paralyzing those muscles so a discouraging word may not be uttered, or a near instantaneous electrical charge activating alternate throat muscles to activate colorful phrases such as "I love green finches!", or, "Who's eaten the last of the chocolate pudding? Fie."

nth, Dec 17 2006


       what if you have turrets? personally I prefer the classic swear jar
shinobi, Dec 17 2006

       (-) Non-problem.
jutta, Dec 17 2006

       "The sky is bluer than Lake Baikal!"   

       "Are you going to eat all off that?"   

       "Aargh, I've got a speech impertanence."
nth, Dec 17 2006

       No thank you. I swear by choice and I can turn it off when I am standing next to my mother or a nun.
Chefboyrbored, Dec 17 2006

       Can it do mental curses too? (+)
JesusHChrist, Dec 17 2006

       Everything in quotation marks is lost on me. Anyone care to help a dullard out?
Texticle, Dec 17 2006

       Texticle, if you are asking about the quoted text in my annotation, it was my invention doing it's work substituting random statements for curses at being fishboned. It is mock indignation only meant to hopefully cause a chuckle. I hope noone takes it otherwise
nth, Dec 17 2006

       [shinobi] if you have turrets, I suggest you invest in some longbowmen and big tubs of boiling oil forthwith. If on the other hand you have Tourette's Syndrome, I'm afraid I can't help you.
BunsenHoneydew, Dec 19 2006

       //(-) Non-problem.//   

       Fie, [jutta], I think there is a real problem if someone has a habit which they themselves would like to break. However, if that is the problem, it does beg the question of whether replacing rudeness with incoherence is the solution. So, no vote from me.
pertinax, Dec 21 2006

       Self diagnosis can fail, for example by the paranoid or suicidal. Or, alas, the tragically uptight.
And I know uptight.
jutta, Dec 21 2006


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