Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Darwin Appliances

A lifeguard for the Gene Pool
  (+6, -4)
(+6, -4)
  [vote for,

The Darwin Awards are presented annually to thise individuals who remove themselves from the gene pool in ingenious and/or stupid ways, either by killing themsleves, or rendering themseves incapable of breeding.

We propose the manufacture and distribution, at heavily subsidised prices, of "Darwin Appliances". Typical examples would be:

A pistol or rifle where the barrel points back at the holder.
A metal hairdryer for use in showers
The Evolvemobile, which has bald tyres, no brakes, a 3 litre V8 engine, runs on AVGAS stored in a big, glass bottle over a lit candle, is made entirely from cardboard and has a sharp spike in the centre of the steering wheel.
My First Guillotine

You get the idea. Anyone foolish enough to use one of these devices as intended will be immediately entitled to use the Half Day Out With The Undertaker voucher bundled with the retail packaging, which will of course include a 450-page User Manual with "Hey, what do you need this for ? You're way to smart to need the instructions. Best throw it away now." printed on the cover.

8th of 7, Oct 10 2002

Warning Dilution http://www.halfbake.../Warning_20Dilution
The parent idea [8th of 7, Oct 10 2002, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Darwin Appliances http://www.localdir...%20Kitchenware/list
[AusCan531, Jun 16 2013]


       You could start a castrato choir.
FarmerJohn, Oct 10 2002

       I think a lot of the 'extreme' sports have this idea half-baked.   

       Ex.: Rollerbladers who slide down the railings of stairwarys. Does they realize beforehand that the crotch-area will bear their entire weight if they slip?
Wes, Oct 10 2002

       // Does they realize beforehand that the crotch-area will bear their entire weight if they slip? //   

       Hopefully not, and that also there would be witnesses to said event, preferably with a video camera so the moment could be relived to everyone's amusement (other than the victim, that is).
8th of 7, Oct 10 2002

       I think that this is a fine idea. If you are stupid enough to use it then that's too bad for you.   

       I really don't think that it is society's job to protect individuals from themselves.   

       ex. Warning Coffee Hot (no shit) Don't Use Hair Dryer In Shower/Bath (duh) (for sleep meds) Do Not Drive or Operate Machinery While Under Influence of This Drug (why would you be driving while you are sleeping anyway)
twinkletoes1218, Mar 20 2008

       //A metal hairdryer for use in showers//   

       Could be marketed as a hair curler as well... [+]   

       Where did you go, [8th]?
Grogster, Jun 16 2013

       Already baked, sautéed and brewed. [Link]. Yeah [8th], where'd ya go?
AusCan531, Jun 16 2013


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