Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Electric Death Ray

Kills people
  (+7, -31)(+7, -31)(+7, -31)
(+7, -31)
  [vote for,

Every so often, a computer shoots an Electric Death Ray through the keyboard, killing the user. Bam! No more population problem.
AfroAssault, Sep 14 2000


       Ahh, but the people in the areas of the world with the worst population problems don't even know what a computer is, let alone what to do with one. All this would accomplish is a random assassination of computer users who are usually too busy on the PC to reproduce anyway.   

       So I think that, 'ZAP' ----------------------------------
Alcin, Sep 14 2000

       Better than a 'Pocket Pool Cue'...<grin>
StarChaser, Sep 15 2000

       How about reserving the use of this device for Tech Support professionals only- and just for use against their more difficult customers? That way you'd *know* that it's a complete idiot on the other end of the line that's getting fried.   

       Bingo- instant world IQ jump of 20 points!
BigThor, Sep 16 2000

       Fitted to beer cans, the Death Ray would cull out a different segment of our enlightened western 'civilization'. Oops, I like both computers and beer, better sip carefully from now on!
jetckalz, Sep 16 2000

       BigThor: YesYesYes! I want one! I want two! I want a button on my phone that'll do that...   

       StarChaser the TechSupport Tyger.
StarChaser, Sep 16 2000

       HooRay! *So there I was, checking to see what catches my eye, cig danglin' and beer by my side. I thought .o0O (I wonder if that's my ol' pal Afro?) Yup.
thumbwax, Sep 18 2000, last modified Sep 29 2000

       Bad idea! The only people who'd be left alive would be the rubber fetishists.   

       Also, my tech support people would probably wipe themselves out trying to install it.   

       Then again...
DrBob, Sep 29 2000

       wow...Alcin landed right on his - key...I don't think I've ever passed out on my keyboard and landed on the - key before.
nick_n_uit, Feb 24 2001

       come on triple fishbone....
AfroAssault, Apr 11 2001

       which really seems less-than-complete, eh, Peter? But, then again, this is the HALFbakery, so I suppose that was deliberate.
absterge, Apr 11 2001

       It is. It's not actually two and a half stinkfish, it's five half-fish.
StarChaser, Apr 11 2001

       I like this idea. It should be put into tvs and designed so that if they're left on the golf, fishing, soap, wrestling, dirtbiking, etc channels for too long-- ZAP! ::evil grin::
Galileo, Sep 24 2001

       Oh, this is too much work. Let's just build Carousel, and give everyone those little jewel things on their hands.   

       "Last day, Pisces 2's, year of the city, 2002... Carousel begins." ;)
cpt kangarooski, Feb 21 2002

       Once more in English?
StarChaser, Feb 22 2002

       Welsh translation please
po, Feb 22 2002

       Never watched Logans Run?? For shame!
rbl, Feb 22 2002

       this is golden.
redundantly_redundant, Nov 16 2002

       This is a good-ZAP!-AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
subkat, Jan 14 2003

       I always notice that the people most concerned with population control don't seem to care quite enough to kill themselves. It's always "the other guy".
lumpy, Jan 14 2003

       Considering that the average american uses 13 times the resources of the average third worlder, It follows that it is 13 times more efficient to zap Americans than anyone else.
dbsousa, Jul 25 2003

       Please don't assume I'm British.   

       I'm from NEW Britain.   

dbsousa, Jul 25 2003

       ... in New England!
waugsqueke, Jul 25 2003

       "Putting them in computers would tend to kill off the more technically savy people in the world"   

       Hahahaha, rotfl, lol etc etc - good joke !
pjd, Sep 12 2003

       This could be incorporated into all sorts of things to thin out the population evenly. Such as larger cans, soda cans, bottled water, craft beer bottles and bottles of fine wine.   

       However, personally more in favour of putting it in dole and child allowance checks to remove the unenthusiastic breeders from society. It would be similar to China's approach of reducing child allowance and India's of not giving out dole checks, but with more of a bbq smell.
saedi, Aug 10 2010

       //to remove the unenthusiastic breeders from society//   

       <pedant>Enthusiastic breeders, UNenthusiastic workers</pedant>   

       While the idea of IT based assassination seems shiny, I think there are far better ways/populations to selectively breed []
xxobot, Aug 12 2010

       The average brain volume has shrunk by 10% since the stone age, so this might help reverse the trend, especially if it only killed people who spent too much time on Fox news sites.
ldischler, Aug 12 2010

       [ldischler] How much time is too much? Can it be offset by listening to National Public Radio? Give me details! You're making me nervous!
mouseposture, Aug 12 2010

       Fox news and NPR should be limited to five minutes a day before a lethal dose is administered. I don't want to be dictatorial, though. We can even make this an average if you want. Some days it could be five hours, other days, five seconds before death. How about that? After all, we have to think of the advertisers.
ldischler, Aug 12 2010

       Contrary to common belief, Oswald Moseley is alive and well and posting on the halfbakery under the moniker [saedi].
wagster, Aug 12 2010

       Currently, computers are convincing people that they shouldn't reproduce. - Much more effective, what with the expected takeover by fanatics who reproduce and indoctrinate, believing that using technology to kill everybody else is the way to go. So we are on our way.
pashute, Sep 06 2023

       It's not really that, it's convincing women they should go and live life before having a baby. They do so and then when it's too late realize they wanted a baby. And giving women high standards for who they're willing to marry. And unfairly pushing women ahead of men career-wise, meaning they can't find a man who is making more than them because the men have been held back both in education and career.   

       All of this means women don't meet men they're willing to marry. Fatherless children suffer real problems too, but that's a different rant.
Voice, Sep 08 2023


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