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Baker Street Irregulars
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Familiar titles re-arranged to create more exciting viewing...
As daytime TV now seems to be spreading, like some hideous, science-fiction blob monster, to engulf the entire program schedule, I thought that it could be profitably re-engineered to provide a more satisfying viewer experience. For example:-
Cash Under the Hammer
Large men wearing
donkey jackets & balaclavas drive a white transit van to a large country house where they proceed to conduct a careful search of the premises in an effort to turn up items of value that they can sell at a local car boot sale. Having removed everything of value to the van they then return and smash everything else in the house into itsy-bitsy, tiny, little pieces with sledgehammers before heading off to the pub for a well earned beer.
Escape to the Attic
A person is secretly smuggled into a complete strangers house to live covertly in their attic. They can only emerge to nibble away at the contents of the fridge, watch the TV, empty their catheter etc, when there is nobody else in the house or when everyone is asleep at night. If they can keep up the charade for 6 months without getting caught then they get to be whisked away to live in a well appointed beach hut on some sunny Caribbean shore.
Each week an NHS patient with a minor illness or injury is driven to a location about 2 miles from the local hospital. They are then shot in one of their legs and given a 30 minute head start to make their way back to the hospital before they are chased down by the dogs from the local Hunt. If they make it back to the hospital before the dogs catch them then they get moved into a private room and are awarded a free plastic surgery treatment of their choice. If they don't make it then the program is moved to after the 9 o'clock watershed.
||Apart from that, we have serious doubts as to
how this idea could be improved on. [+]
||May we suggest "Ready, Steady, Dig !" ? A
group of celebrities and professional
gardners are placed in a field, surrounded by
high barbed wire fences, and provided with
basic hand tools. A giant clock counts down,
and at zero, a mixed fire mission of
automatic weapons fire, mortars, and field
artillery is delivered.
||Points are awarded for depth and design of
foxhole, artistic impression, technical merit,
||In the Grand Final, the grass is painted as a
huge Union Flag, and then the spectators wait
for the USAF to bomb it.
||8th, I think that's "Gardener's World of Pain" that you're thinking of.
21Q, really? How exciting! Let's have a link then! As it happens, I based that one on the experience of an acquaintance whose husband went missing only to be discovered living in the attic some weeks later. True story.