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Guitar Hero: 4'33"
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Golf must be one of most ponderously
tiresome games on the planet for its
spectators. All that waiting around for
people to take their shots, especially on
the putting green, but this comes to
an end with the introduction of De-
This variation has two simple features
speed up the game by a significant
The first of these is called: "The Time
Trembling Hand, Golf Tee."
This is a tee in the form of a tiny arm,
terminating in a small, cupped hand into
which is placed the golf ball. As soon as
the tee is sunk into the ground and the
ball placed on it, the player only has a
seconds of time in which to strike the
This is because the tee has a little engine
inside, along with a timer, which causes
the hand to twitch and shake, and drop
the ball, if you take too long. The player
then loses that shot
and has to tee off from a ground
placing them at a considerable
disadvantage against a speedier
The second device is called: "The
Ball That Penalises Prolonged
This is contained inside the actual golf
ball, and is activated only within the
confines of the putting green
each hole. Once the ball lands here, there
is a set amount of time before radio
signals switch on the fidgeting
mechanism, causing the ball to begin
twitching, making an accurate shot very
difficult. Each time a ball is struck, a
decreasing amount of time is
automatically allocated and set before it
starts twitching again.
With these two devices deployed, players
will now rapidly tee off and positively
towards each hole, eager to swiftly take
their putts in order to avoid the dreaded
Run, golfer, run! [imaginality, Oct 02 2006]
Never-Lost Golf Ball
Could be combined with the ball from this idea to make it doubly annoying. [shapu, Oct 06 2006]
||I like the intention behind this idea, and not just for the spectators' benefit. I'd play golf more often if it didn't take four hours to play. 'XTreme golf' is another means towards the same end (the number of minutes you take to complete your round is added to your score for the round!) but your wobbly balls are better HB material. [+]
||How about a tee with a built in timer? If you don't hit the ball in the allotted time, a hole opens up and swallows it.
I like the fidgeting ball though, it could add an exciting element of randomness to the game. It might even give other players a chance against Tiger Woods
||Gotta bone this. You not only have an idea, but a suggestion to fundamentally change the rules of golf.
||well - I'll take that bone as a compliment,
since I regard golf as being a totally
amoebic activity, and have numerous ideas
on how to make it even more ridiculous, if
that's possible to imagine. Nothing needs
to be taken as seriously, as golf clearly is.
||(from amoeba, the single celled animal
that is devoid of a brain)
||Problem with the ball: What if you lose it?
||Solution for problem: shameless self-promotion (see link)
||I hate to pee on the parade here but wouldn't a "shot-clock" be simpler? The NBA had to implement this rule after people were getting tired of the center and point guard playing volleyball on opposite sides of the 3 point line.
||The clock will start as soon as the player is standing within 3 feet of the ball. That way he can get 22 seconds to aim, line up the club and/or study the putt. 22 seconds is a good time because it will put excess pressure on the player. He will get penalized for the first 3 to 4 times because he will think 25 or 30 seconds in the back of his mind. Likewise he will be forced to shoot sooner because he does not want to get fooled by that 22 seconds again.
||how very sensible [Jscotty]
||[Jscotty]: What is this 'simpler' to which you refer? I don't like the sound of it...
||[UB]: Indeed. Such as the final hole played by Paul McGinley (Ireland & Europe, plaing at his home club) vs JJ Henry (USA) during this years Ryder Cup. 18th hole, Henry needing 15ft putt to halve hole. With Europe securing the winning margin an idiot streaker runs on, ruining everyones concentration. McGinley does the honouarble thing and immeidately agrees to 'gimme' Henry's shot.
||I've said it before and I'll say it again. All golf is evil. On principles I'd have to give this an immediate bone but as it seems to be an attempt to shorten all the faffing and general tedious wankathon character of the average golf competition so we can all watch the Simpsons again, I'll bun you.
||Hey, I resent thaOh look a birdy!