Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Die-cut pork scratchings

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There are few foods in this world to compare with the pork scratching. Crunchiness, fattiness, saltiness, and baconiness all condensed into a palate-fellating morsel of porcine tooth-challenging goodness.

And yet...and yet...

The shape of the traditional pork scratching is, well, it isn't. They seem to be produced by flaying a pig with a lawnmower.

MaxCo Foods, therefore, is overwhelmingly proud to launch its new range of precision die-cut pork scratchings, produced by lovingly die-stamping pigskin before deep- frying all that goodness into it.

For toddlers, we have 8oz packets of pig-shaped Paddy Pig Pork Scratchingettes, and our 12oz snack-packs of Alphabetti Pighetti.

For adults we have "Oy Veyrony!" Star-of-David bite-size scratchings and, for the intellectuals amongst you, our laser-embossed Pork Scrabbles (every pack contains a full set of letters, plus a wipe-clean inflatable Scrabble board).

In recognition of the dip-based market, we are also about to launch our pleasingly equilateral Boaritos. As a bonus, the stamping process for Boaritos also produces, as a by- product, the raw material for our nostalgic Curly Wurley homage sticks.

Finally, for that special occasion, may we recommend our Piñata Pigatas? Available in a range of sizes from Suckling to Hog, each is a complete pigshell just waiting to be shattered and consumed.

MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2012

pork rind sculpture http://www.porkrind.com/oldskin.jpg
[xandram, Nov 14 2012]


       Ah. You must be referring to chicharones.   

       You could always have the staff hand-trim them for you to uniform shapes - within established tolerance range, of course.
normzone, Nov 08 2012

       //You must be referring to chicharones.//   

       You must be referring to pork scratchings.   

       //You could always have the staff hand-trim them// Ah, but this leads to wastageness.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 08 2012

       // Crunchiness, fattiness, saltiness, and baconiness //   

       Immediate bunnage.
8th of 7, Nov 08 2012

       //Oy Veyrony!" Star-of-David bite-size scratchings//   

ytk, Nov 08 2012

       Sorry Max - I quite like the idea, but making shapes out of compounds like Pasta or Chocolate or Potato crisps or even pig-skin is the line of least resistance re ideas. (I've done a few myself)   

       Now if there was a machine that somehow generated a silhouette portrait of the original pig only in pork scratching material, I'd like that even more. (bone not mine by the way)
xenzag, Nov 09 2012

       I don't eat meat, so I wouldn't know.
xenzag, Nov 09 2012

       Or indeed Kevin?
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2012

       //making shapes out of compounds like Pasta or Chocolate or Potato crisps or even pig-skin is the line of least resistance//   

       The juiciest fruit hangs lowest.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2012

       There's more than one Roger you know.
pocmloc, Nov 09 2012

       Nothing less that Penrose tile pork scratchings will do.
hippo, Nov 09 2012

       Sierpinski carpet pork scratchings ?
8th of 7, Nov 09 2012

       In theory, a Sierpigski scratching could hold an infinite amount of salt.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 09 2012

       Sold to the customer with the high blood pressure and the off-the-scale cholesterol reading ...
8th of 7, Nov 09 2012

       There's a food called pork scratchings? Wow.   

       Yup, looked it up on line. I think they should be called pork blisters.
doctorremulac3, Nov 16 2012

       In the States they're called pork rinds or chicarones, and I have just returned from the Deep South, where amongst other things I reminded myself why I'm glad they don't sell authentic pork rinds up here in the North.
Alterother, Nov 16 2012

       God, I'd hate to see what an un-authentic pork rind looked like.
doctorremulac3, Nov 16 2012

       Well, those are the only kind they sell in Maine, which is why I don't eat them.
Alterother, Nov 17 2012

       We have an Americanian version of that which is pressed and allowed to harden, called 'fatback'.   

       No, I'm serious, it really is called fatback.   

       Stop laughing, I'm telling the truth.   

       As far as die-cut shapes are concerned, The Good Fairy Jenny suggests a crash cart, complete with little pork rind defibulator paddles.
Alterother, Nov 18 2012


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