h a l f b a k e r yGuitar Hero: 4'33"
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There are few foods in this world to compare with the
pork
scratching. Crunchiness, fattiness, saltiness, and
baconiness all condensed into a palate-fellating morsel
of
porcine tooth-challenging goodness.
And yet...and yet...
The shape of the traditional pork scratching is, well, it
isn't. They seem to be produced by flaying a pig with a
lawnmower.
MaxCo Foods, therefore, is overwhelmingly proud to
launch
its new range of precision die-cut pork scratchings,
produced by lovingly die-stamping pigskin before deep-
frying all that goodness into it.
For toddlers, we have 8oz packets of pig-shaped Paddy
Pig
Pork Scratchingettes, and our 12oz snack-packs of
Alphabetti Pighetti.
For adults we have "Oy Veyrony!" Star-of-David bite-size
scratchings and, for the intellectuals amongst you, our
laser-embossed Pork Scrabbles (every pack contains a full
set of letters, plus a wipe-clean inflatable Scrabble
board).
In recognition of the dip-based market, we are also
about
to launch our pleasingly equilateral Boaritos. As a
bonus,
the stamping process for Boaritos also produces, as a by-
product, the raw material for our nostalgic Curly Wurley
homage sticks.
Finally, for that special occasion, may we recommend
our Piñata Pigatas? Available in a range of sizes from
Suckling to Hog, each is a complete pigshell just waiting
to be shattered and consumed.
pork rind sculpture
http://www.porkrind.com/oldskin.jpg [xandram, Nov 14 2012]
[link]
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Ah. You must be referring to chicharones. |
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You could always have the staff hand-trim them for you to uniform shapes - within established tolerance range, of course. |
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//You must be referring to chicharones.// |
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You must be referring to pork scratchings. |
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//You could always have the staff hand-trim them//
Ah, but this leads to wastageness. |
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// Crunchiness, fattiness, saltiness, and baconiness // |
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//Oy Veyrony!" Star-of-David bite-size scratchings// |
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Sorry Max - I quite like the idea, but making shapes out of compounds like Pasta or Chocolate or Potato crisps or even pig-skin is the line of least resistance re ideas. (I've done a few myself) |
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Now if there was a machine that somehow generated a silhouette portrait of the original pig only in pork scratching material, I'd like that even more. (bone not mine by the way) |
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I don't eat meat, so I wouldn't know. |
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//making shapes out of compounds like Pasta or
Chocolate or Potato crisps or even pig-skin is the
line of least resistance// |
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The juiciest fruit hangs lowest. |
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There's more than one Roger you know. |
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Nothing less that Penrose tile pork scratchings will
do. |
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Sierpinski carpet pork scratchings ? |
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In theory, a Sierpigski scratching could hold an
infinite amount of salt. |
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Sold to the customer with the high blood pressure and the off-the-scale cholesterol reading ... |
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There's a food called pork scratchings? Wow. |
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Yup, looked it up on line. I think they should be called pork blisters. |
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In the States they're called pork rinds or chicarones, and I
have just returned from the Deep South, where amongst
other things I reminded myself why I'm glad they don't sell
authentic pork rinds up here in the North. |
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God, I'd hate to see what an un-authentic pork rind looked like. |
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Well, those are the only kind they sell in Maine, which is
why I don't eat them. |
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We have an Americanian version of that which is pressed
and allowed to harden, called 'fatback'. |
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No, I'm serious, it really is called fatback. |
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Stop laughing, I'm telling the truth. |
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As far as die-cut shapes are concerned, The Good Fairy
Jenny suggests a crash cart, complete with little pork rind
defibulator paddles. |
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