Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog Food for Humans

don't be turned off by the title - a complete meal with everything you need in a single bowl of kibble.
  (+30, -10)(+30, -10)(+30, -10)
(+30, -10)
  [vote for,

My dog is now 4 months old. I took her to the vet who remarked that she's in amazing condition - shiny coat, bright eyes, strong muscles etc.

Now consider that we are quite strict with what we feed her and we only give her decent dog food and the occasional bone. She seems to love her dog food, she gobbles it up when we put it down. The vet says her food is so good that if we feed her the right amount she will never be overweight, never get clogged arteries or bone problems or any health problems that humans experience.

So my idea is to create a food that contains all our daily requirements - including protein, roughage, calcium etc. in a single pellet or kibble. I'm not talking miracle pill here - one little thing you pop in your mouth and you're satisfied - I'm talking about a full bowl of food in a flavour that everyone likes, that just becomes a staple diet and we all eat. The range of flavours could be similar to the flavours used in potato chips - i.e. - Steak, Cheese and Onion, Mexican Chilli, Chicken.

Of course, for a treat you can still go out for dinner at a restureant.

No more being overweight. No more worrying what to eat at lunchtime at work, no more coming home from work and cooking.

Flux, Jan 28 2005

Mazuri Primate Feed http://www.mazuri.com/primate.htm
Mmmm, Monkey Crunch [robinism, Jan 28 2005]

A new-age veterinarian... http://www.hawthorn....com/nutrition.html
...who says that dogs do better on fresh food. [robinism, Jan 28 2005]

A mystery. http://www.halfbakery.com/user/succulent
Wrapped in a riddle. [wagster, Jan 29 2005]

Slab o' nutrition, food loaf diet plan Slab_20o_27_20nutri...0loaf_20diet_20plan
It's got all the nutrients you need and you can eat all you want. Bon appetite [doctorremulac3, Dec 02 2007]

Soylent Drink http://en.wikipedia...iki/Soylent_(drink)
[Skewed, Jul 09 2014]

Soylent, Get Your Supply http://www.soylent.me/
[Skewed, Jul 09 2014]


       She's a dog for Chrissakes, she'll eat out of the trash can. That's why she wolfs down ground pig intestines with fishmeal flavour. Forget it for humans. Either *you* eat a can of that "stuff" (and I use the word lightly) or you take this idea back to where it came from.   

       And dammit, while I'm here haven't you heard of protein shakes? Or space shuttle vacuum packed meals? Where have you been for the last 20 years Flux, my friend?
lubbit, Jan 28 2005

       But those things don't come in Smokey Bacon flavor.
robinism, Jan 28 2005

       Well, why don't you put equal portions of hot water and meat product in the blender and *make* your own gravy. Phhww, this is starting to remind me of Mad Cow BloodShakes from a while back, sadly now MFD'd out of existence.
lubbit, Jan 28 2005

       Whoa. Tough choice. Who to believe?
bristolz, Jan 28 2005

       have we got any vets here?
po, Jan 28 2005

       'bakers don't often survive the military, with all of the explosives lying around just asking to be played with.
Worldgineer, Jan 28 2005

       I fought in the Succulent War.
bristolz, Jan 28 2005

       I'll bite. What's the succulent war?
Worldgineer, Jan 28 2005

       I had a goldfish once, if that counts?
skinflaps, Jan 28 2005

       Ok, found it. 2002 - before I was of fighting age. Strangely there appears to have been no casualties.   

       [flaps] The use of past tense may mar your resume.
Worldgineer, Jan 28 2005

       Not that can be seen.   

       Does this idea remind anyone else of 'Bachelor Chow' from Futurama.
st3f, Jan 28 2005

       Does it come in the form of crackers? It could cure overpopulation as well.
Aq_Bi, Jan 28 2005

       Succulent War - hee hee...
po, Jan 28 2005

       Ok, I'll admit it. I don't think this is the brightest idea I've ever come up with. Didn't really think it through. I did think of protein shakes and other such things, but you can't just eat that and survive - so I was thinking more along the lines of the steak in the blender with the greens and the carbs and then make it into something eatable - minus all the fat - plus some great flavours. But yeah, it's a silly idea. Here's my next idea - newbies on the site should just sit and observe experienced half- bakers and only speak when they've got a killer idea.
Flux, Jan 28 2005

       It's ok [Flux], it's not a bad idea - just not anything most of us would like. Now if you created a society where everyone was fed twice a day a nutritious meal and only now and then fed us table scraps, obesity and related problems would dissapear.
Worldgineer, Jan 28 2005

       Just out of interest, I have heard tell that (at least here in the UK) for dog food to be marketed, it has to be proven fit for human consumption. That's right, there's a job at each of these dog food companies that just consists of eating dogfood.   

       Anyone care to check it out at Snopes for me? (hard to do from a links browser in a gentoo installation terminal :) )   

       re: Succulent, World, what do you mean, no casualties? The succulent debate was what got me invited to IBD, and bang went my degree!
yamahito, Jan 28 2005

       I dream of living in a world where we could eat like this all the time. Have another solid beer +
cuckoointherye, Jan 28 2005

       So, this war was before my time? Tell me about the war! tell me about it!!!
Pericles, Jan 29 2005

       <adopts Bogart voice> I washn't there at the time, but I found thish. I dunno what it is but I know it's shomething.<aBv> (link)
wagster, Jan 29 2005

Pericles, Jan 31 2005

       More clues.
Worldgineer, Jan 31 2005

       Now I'm interested, too. What on earth had he/she created?
david_scothern, Jan 31 2005

       Some Chinese (? I think ?) zookeepers came up with a super tiger food with all the right ingredients for nutrients and better tiger health. The food was not very chewy, and the tigers became so 'slack jawed' that one put a fang through its own upper palate. Poor thing had to go under for dental surgery. [/urban myth?]
not_only_but_also, Feb 01 2005

       Yeah let em eat cake
The Kat, Feb 01 2005

       I think it is an awesome idea! In fact, I came here because I did a Google search on "Dog Food for Humans" and this link came up. I thought of the same idea and wondered if it had already been done. Here's the thing, I know it probably wouldn't taste great, but that isn't its purpose. The idea behind this is a food that is easy, has a long shelf life, is dirt cheap, and is most importantly fit for a balanced diet. I don't want to have to think about what to eat for breakfast, lunch and dinner everyday! I want something healthy that I don't have to prepare... also when I want to indulge, I can go to a nice resturant because of all the money I've saved eating all this monkey kibble. It could cure obesity, mal-nutrition, and also be an inexpensive aid for poverty striken countries and also for relief aid during natural disasters. Anyways, I think it is a great idea and I want to see it on the shelves at the grocery store.
Mauve Herring, Dec 22 2005

       I also think this is a good idea. It would be interesting to see how long it took before you got tired of eating the same stuff every meal. Why is it so unpopular? Wouldn't it be useful to either have some, or at least know how to make some, for emergencies?
Stingray, Dec 22 2005

       I still want to know more about the succulent war...neither a 'bakery search or a google helped.
normzone, Dec 22 2005

       I've eaten a lot of dog food and its not as good as it looks.
MikeOxbig, Dec 23 2005

       at the begining of the BSE (bovine spongiform encephalopathy) crisis in the uk, possibly infected meat was removed from pet food before human food. a year earlier i've heard.
rainbow, Dec 23 2005

       Hey, everybody who thinks this might be a good idea, email me at idrcon at yahoo com . I have looked into it over the course of a few weeks now and I think it can certainly be done, though it might not be easy. If a bunch of people work on it like an open source project (like that open source beer recipe) I bet we could work something out. If I get a couple interested parties I'll set up a forum and/or wiki and work can begin. I also have some stuff I did and recipes tried to get the ball rolling.
thsn_idrc, Feb 05 2007

       --Don't mention... the WAR...
Custardguts, Feb 06 2007

       Cool idea. This could save people a lot of time and maybe a lot of money on their food bills.   

       This could be like the Matrix where mouser is shoveling that corn-looking mash and wondering why everything tastes like "chicken"
proee, Feb 06 2007

       But do you think it's a good enough idea to do something about it? I see nobody has emailed me yet.
thsn_idrc, Feb 06 2007

       perfect for college students [+]
lilsis, Feb 07 2007

       I like the idea. Tried to e-mail thsn_idrc but didn't work. what's your e-mail?
dawg, Dec 02 2007

       Isn't this baked as MREs, Powerbars, Clif bars, Goo (yes, that is the name) etc? I've gone on hiking trips and only brought Powerbars and water. I know leave both in my car and my house for emergency food. I've thought about this a lot as I have three dogs and a cat, and it is doable, the idea comes with the formulation. Clif bars were created just this way, by a baker named Clif who just hated the taste of Powerbars and formulted a base building block out of grains and stuff and then just adds flavors to make each of the bars. The prolem is that people are spoiled and want diversity. So people are more like cats, start with a basic food (people kibble) and then ad flavors (wet food). Cats need both for digestion and teeth, people need change.
MisterQED, Dec 02 2007

       What has anyone NOT heard of Total cereal??? If you want the "dog food for humans" get your total cereal, add V8 veggitable juice and wait until 10 minutes until it becomes mush. Compact together and voila! Food only a dog would now eat, BUT yet all the healthy ingredience a human needs.
The collector, Dec 03 2007

       I hate to admit I had this very idea back in the late 1980s while on a diet. I even called it "dog food for humans." It seemed a great idea - a nice bag of crunchy nuggets that would make dieting simple: You get a fixed portion each day that provides all the nutrition you need. No guess work and no quibbling (or is that kibbling?)   

       All my friends said I was nuts. Nice to know I'm not alone in my nuttiness.....
jdlaugh, Dec 03 2007

       // ll the healthy ingredience a human needs // but not all the unhelthy ingredients that humans like, such as sugar, pyrolysed saturated fat, salt, carbohydrate, burnt cruncy bits, chocolate, hydrogenated vegetable fat, nourishing E-numbers, permitted colourings and flavorings and McBurgers Special Sauce.   

       A noble idea, but alas doomed to commercial oblivion.
8th of 7, Dec 03 2007

       I've had this idea before. I'm not a picky eater, and I can't stand having to decide what to eat. If I know that I'm getting what my body needs by chowing down on a bag of food, I'll probably do it out of convenience. I think I do this with cold cereal as it is anyway. Hey, here's an idea: they should make breakfast cereal with meat in it.
kevinthenerd, Dec 04 2007

       Existing products all have flaws. Total cereal lacks sufficient protein by itself if I remember correctly. Cliff and Total bars lack fat-soluble vitamins. I think this idea is something that truly needs to be engineered.   

       Another problem is that different people have different dietary needs. Having too much of any particular vitamin is usually not a bad thing if you don't go crazy. I'd say consuming 150% of the RDA minimum of anything can't be bad for you, but I'm not a doctor. Maximums might be a different story.
kevinthenerd, Dec 04 2007

       I came up with this exact idea a couple of days ago. I have 8 cats and each time I pour the cat kibble it smells ever more tastier. If cats can have an all-food that doesn't need to be refrigerated, and supplies all necessary nutrients why not make one for us. It needs to be more than a supplement, more than just vitamins or just protein. It will basically have everything we need for a balanced diet all put together in a snack food. You can carry it anywhere, it doesn't need to be cooked, and you can munch on it and never worry about too much cholesterol or sugar in your diet. I would just love something like this! I would take it to work, on vacations, and munch on it everyday.
nahkaimurrao, Jun 03 2008

       Places where this has likely already been baked (for those looking for such a thing):
Military (MRE's and such - low volume, high shelf life, calculated nutrition)
Space travel (low mass, low volume, high shelf life, calculated nutrition)

       I'm not sure they've come up with a kibble format, but wouldn't be surprised. Check NASA, or google "MRE".
Worldgineer, Jun 04 2008


       (+) And watch the movie, it's a classic!
Pac-man, Jun 05 2008

       I don't know of any kibble formulation where you or your dog can eat as much as they wanted and be healthy. A food like this would have to have some very unpleasant properties. Somewhat fantastic?
WcW, Jun 05 2008

       //'bakers don't often survive the military, with all of the explosives lying around just asking to be played with.//   

       Having survived the military, and gotten my "honorable discharge" to prove it, I must beg to differ with this statement.   


       Having purchased this film, I must also beg to differ. Not a classic... And thank God for that, because it's truly entertaining to tell 18 year old film punks who have never heard of it that it is a classic, and they need to watch it, "Wow! I never guessed..." Awesome! Two weeks later, "Dude, I saw like a dozen Soylent Green jokes this week, and I finally GOT them all!" Now that's classic!
ye_river_xiv, Jun 07 2008

       //bakers don't often survive the military, with all of the explosives lying around just asking to be played with.//
umm... be the person whose job it is to "play" with the explosives(<cough>).
FlyingToaster, Jun 07 2008

       MREs aren't convenient enough. You still have more than one package to open, and you still have to decide between various flavors. They should take all of them, throw them in a blender, and dry it out into people chow. Grab some people chow and some water and you're good to go!
kevinthenerd, Jun 10 2008

       Interesting. Despite my gut reaction that this is totally gross, perhaps this may be the key to the obesity problem in developed countries: maybe the human appetite for variety and tasty junk food can be hacked in the face of convenience and economy.
Spacecoyote, Feb 24 2009

       mmm soylent-green...
FlyingToaster, Feb 24 2009

       Can I have some scooby-snacks for dessert?
ultra-toaster 3000, Oct 18 2009

       I've wanted this since many years ago. I don't know why it doesn't exist yet.   

       It would be made to taste good, it would be healthy and nutritionally complete (unlike powerbars or chips or other things), and it would be the right consistency to exercise your jaw muscles. I don't know why any of these are impossible, considering our normal food has all of them. You would still be able to go out to dinner when you wanted variety; this would be for the times when you're too busy/lazy to warm up frozen meals.
omegatron, Jul 07 2014

       google "Bachelor Chow", there's a couple neat'ish links on the first page.
FlyingToaster, Jul 08 2014

       Eat the dog. It's clearly full of superb nutrients.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jul 08 2014

       // I don't know why it doesn't exist yet.//   

       It does. You can get whole human food in the form of bars, powder, or powder-to-be- mixed-with-liquid.
Voice, Jul 09 2014


       <link again)   

       This I think is most like what everyone was thinking of, was anyone here named Rhinehart by any chance.   

       [tron], [FT], [Max], [Voice], You need to Google more, now fully baked (in every sense) since 2013 ;p   

       Trivia: the word soylent is a combination of soy & lentils (coined in Harry Harrison's 1966 Make Room! Make Room!). So not made of people (so disappointed) as envisioned in the later film soylent green.
Skewed, Jul 09 2014

       I think this idea is looking for something solid that you can sink your teeth into. Soylent sounds somewhat interesting, but having to mix it up sounds inconvenient. I'd rather grab a handful. I keep a box of cereal at work for snacking or when I forget my lunch. My wife call it "People Food". Some of the energy bars maybe get close, but they are kind of expensive: maybe not too bad compared to a nice meal, but something that boring ought to be almost as cheap as dog food.
scad mientist, Jul 09 2014

       //I think this idea is looking for something solid that you can sink your teeth into//   

       Yes I agree, Soylent hits all the other markers though.   

       And replacing the optional oil pack with something a bit more (viscous?) to premix a chewy bar can be done, I'm sure it won't be long before they start selling it as single meal ration bars.   

       <edit> So maybe not //fully baked (in every sense)// yet, but close.
Skewed, Jul 09 2014

       Sorry but we have this already and it is called SPAM!
travbm, Oct 29 2015


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