Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Dog friendly mail-person

finally....the dog will think differently when the mail man comes by
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(+1, -4)
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From the beginning of time, their was man. At the next possible second....from man's spilt beer....came dogs.

Therefore dogs must be mans best friends. As mans best friend, he/she (it?) defends mans territory by barking and running around the yard while it marks its respective territory.

Recently, their came the mail person. Simple he/she may look, as he/she threatens mans property by deliverying bills and possible junk mail.

It used to be dogs defended their territory for other dogs, but it is now man. Man has taught dogs that he/she doesn't want to see the overdew bills and advice that they are possibly not in the best of shape.

Therefore comes the myth, Dogs don't like mail-people simply because they threat the property by wearing a uniform and throwing something in and easily going out like a thief.

So, in order to make mail-people more dog friendly, i propose an elegant solution which will solve everything. First i will present to you some facts:

-Male dogs, as the typical agressive types, think nothing of biting when in the present of female pheromones, also know as when dogs are in "heat."

-Dogs like things made of cotton.

So, i propose the following solution so that mail-people do not get bitten and instead will be happily loved by every dog:

-Propose that every mail person wear a Dog-Head costume, so that they communicate they are "ruff" on the outside.

(ex) It worked when Homer in "the simpsons" dressed as a panda and was in the panda cage....

-Instead of that harmful pepper spray, it will be replaced with female dog pheromones on the mail carrier. It will than make the dogs love the carrier exponentially.

-Have a pack of peanut butter mail. (and chocolate, just in case)

-Dog-whistle grenade (like they throw it and it distracts the dogs)

And if worse comes to worst, than they will just have to do the friendly things that all should be done to:

-insta-neuter (a known carcinogen that instantly dissolves the testicles)

That is all that is need to be a


compatta, Jun 03 2006


       On a side note from the idea, please please revise the spelling.
And //-insta-neuter (a known carcinogen that instantly dissolves the testicles)// I have not heard of this carcinogen (A chemical which causes cancer) which is able to dissolve testicles...Are you sure you didn't tell a bit of a porky?
fridge duck, Jun 04 2006


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