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Domain-specific magic 8-ball

It is certain.
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

The Magic 8-Ball (link) is probably the greatest invention in the field of decision theory since the coin.

President Roosevelt was given one of the first prototypes of this device (link), and its use in political decision-making has been a tradition maintained for over 60 years. Military versions were made, including large, hardened 8-balls for dropping into combat zones where urgent decision making was needed (see link).


The standard Magic 8-Ball is a generic instrument, designed to make accurate and sensitive decisions about a very wide range of topics. Sadly, this means that it is less well suited to decision-making in very specific disciplines.


MaxCo. is pleased to announce the launch of its new range of domain-specific Magic 8-Balls. Following extensive and often intentional research, and using the latest in polymer manufacturing technology, we have created a range of Magic 8- balls to suit many of the most challenging professions and pastimes, including law, medicine, art, bomb disposal and oral sex.

As an example, the Magic Doctor Medical 8-Ball provides the twenty following carefully evaluated answers:

"Run a central line"
"Yes, STAT!"
"No, STAT!"
"Maybe, STAT!"
"No, the _patient's_ right side."
"Check his insurance."
"Check your insurance."
"No, litres."
"Tell no-one."
"Yes, that's normal."
"Biological detergent, cold soak."
"Left over right, then knot."
"No, except penicillin."
"Pinkish with blue veins."
"3mg/kg twice daily."

Each domain-specific Magic 8-Ball comes in its own hand-crafted, machine-engineered walnut-veneered carrycase, complete with operating instructions.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

Magic 8-Ball http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magic_8-Ball
Generic version for non-professional use. [MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010]

Roosevelt receives prototype Magic 8-Ball in 1944 http://www.baseball...anac.com/prz_fr.jpg
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010]

Military version being deployed in combat zone http://www.street-g...mission_tribute.jpg
[MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010]

Later president with 8-ball http://image.inkfro...a/nixon_bowling.jpg
As you can see, he was not so fond of it. [MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010]

Obama is never without our "Oil Spill Contingency" model. http://blogs.btvanc.../obama-bowling1.jpg
We are working on a lighter version, specifically in deference to the President's congenital thumb defect. [MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010]

Talk about having politicians in your pockets... http://www.fuzing.c...-Set--US-President-
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 05 2010]


       I'm pretty sure this already exists for the "naughty" domain. Also, MFD: magic.
swimswim, Jun 04 2010

       "Sorry ambassador, I gave you the 'Oral sex' magic 8-ball instead of the 'International diplomacy' one - these MaxCo walnut-veneered cases all look the same. Anyway, how did the negotiations go?"
hippo, Jun 04 2010

       "Fine, thanks - there doesn't seem to be much difference between them. We'll continue screwing and being screwed much as before."
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

       My "Assembly Line Worker" model always gives me the same answer.
DrWorm, Jun 04 2010

       Have you checked the batteries?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

       The Papal one must be interesting - always coming up with the correct answer, and all ...
8th of 7, Jun 04 2010

       I had no idea there were 20 answers, I thought it was just 8. (+)
MisterQED, Jun 04 2010

MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

       [21Q] are you sure it's one of ours? Does it have the haddock- and-rice logo on the flange?
MaxwellBuchanan, Jun 04 2010

       //The Papal one must be interesting - always coming up with the correct answer//
How would that be interesting? In operation, it'd look exactly like any other magic 8 ball. The only person to whom it could look different would be someone (the Diety, maybe) who had foreknowledge of the doctrinally correct answer.

       In fact, assuming the Pope didn't have that foreknowledge (and if he did, why would he use the thing) someone could substitute a normal magic 8 ball and he'd never know the difference.
mouseposture, Jun 04 2010

       Oh he'd know...and he'd be right.   


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