Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
(Rolling in flour, halfbaking my ass off)

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Down-Under Dude Ranch & Health Spa

So... How's It Hangin'?
  (+6, -4)
(+6, -4)
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This business enterprise combines the healthful benefits of hanging upside down with the outdoorsy fun and wide open spaces of a Dude Ranch.

The Dude Ranch maintains a large herd of extraordinarily tall horses, such as Belgians, Thoroughbreds, American Saddlebreds, Shires, and Friesians.

Saddles are placed on the horses 180 degrees rotated, so that they are actually under the horse instead of on his back. The riders are carefully placed into the saddles and strapped in, hanging upside down under the horse.

You are then guided on a ten mile nature ride across the wide open spaces of the Old West. You'll be getting healthier by the minute dangling under your faithful steed, all the while seeing the outdoors in a whole new way.

For the more adventuresome, try our advanced rides, crossing rivers (snorkel recommended) and blazing trails across the cactus and sagebrush (helmet and first aid kit recommended).

Call and book your adventure today!

Grogster, Feb 02 2013


       Good luck getting any repeat business or testimonials,
UnaBubba, Feb 02 2013

       I'm planning on using the first batch of vacation pictures they share in my advertizing brochures...
Grogster, Feb 02 2013

       As long as I'm facing forward (I don't want to be looking at those bits of a horse all the time) and trekking across tumbleweed- and rattlesnake-free terrain, I'm happy.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 02 2013

       Not possible, m'lud. As a semi-citizen, you should know that the entire surface area of the Mainland United States is covered with tumbleweeds and rattlesnakes.   

Alterother, Feb 02 2013

       I keep wanting to enjoy this idea, but all I can think of is looking over a pasture when I was younger"   

       "Wow, that horse has 5 legs !"
FlyingToaster, Feb 02 2013

       I have actually ridden a Belgian bareback - kind of like sitting on a bouncing furry couch...
normzone, Feb 02 2013

       //the entire surface area of the Mainland United States is covered with tumbleweeds and rattlesnakes//
And the rest is covered with walruses and surfboards.
sqeaketh the wheel, Feb 03 2013

       //I have actually ridden a Belgian bareback// Not a phrase that's often heard.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 03 2013

       Sickos, you are all sickos.
blissmiss, Feb 03 2013

       And you're not?
Alterother, Feb 03 2013

       Now, now, it was his turn for exercise, and I was on a date with the girl who managed the hay wagon rides. The relationship went nowhere, but I was thrilled to get the big horse experience.   

       I always did want to play polo on a Percheron, but that seems unlikely these days.   

       I did ride a Thoroughbred / draft horse cross named Knockalong through the Pebble Beach golf course and on the beach by virtue of my foot wouldn't fit in the other horse's stirrup, but that was just luck.
normzone, Feb 04 2013

       You're right, [NZ], riding a big tall horse is DEFINITELY a different trip... Although I never rode a draft horse, I would have loved to give it a go. I had a huge high strung American Saddlebred for a while, and riding him was a mix of exhilaration and panic, with a fair bit of sheer bloody minded determination to stay seated. Good times.
Grogster, Feb 04 2013

       Umm... that thing hanging down under a dude is not a saddle... just sayin'.
UnaBubba, Feb 04 2013

       What, that? We here at the Dude Ranch call that a Saddle Stabilizer. No worries! In fact, you may be interested to know... LOOK, SQUIRREL!!!   

       ...and on your left, see that beautiful (upside down) mountain glen...
Grogster, Feb 04 2013

       As a horseback rider lover, I find this objectionable. So there.
blissmiss, Feb 04 2013

       Wait.. does that mean you love riding horses, or that you love other people who ride horses?   

       Please be honest, as your answers are being recorded for Science.
Alterother, Feb 04 2013

       This cannot possibly fail to not succeed.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 04 2013

       It means both.
blissmiss, Feb 05 2013

       Thank you for your honesty. You have made a generous contribution to Science.
Alterother, Feb 05 2013

       Things look different, upside down. But some things look the same. It's all so confusing.
Ling, Feb 05 2013

       Granted you may be able to find a small group of people willing to do this, but not sure why defenseless horses have to be put through this.
whlanteigne, Feb 06 2013

       Horses are far from defenseless. Don't worry, if they can't be trained to like this then they'll take measures.
normzone, Feb 06 2013

       //...not sure why defenseless horses have to be put through this...//   

       It's simple, really- we tried yaks but they're too short...
Grogster, Feb 06 2013

       [marked-for-tagline] //This cannot possibly fail to not succeed.//   

Grogster, May 10 2013

       //As a horseback rider lover, I find this objectionable. So there.//   

       Is it more cruel for a horse to be forced to carry someone hanging off the underside than for it to be forced to carry someone sitting on top?
I'd have thought at the very least the rider in the former case would probably not drive quite as hard.
Loris, May 10 2013


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