Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Droid Bar

No Apples allowed
  [vote for,

This is a Star Wars themed bar, with robot waiters (R2 units with very basic programming inspired by Roombas. They roll up to the bar with the requested drinks inside a locked cooler and display the price on a digital readout, then function like a mobile vending machine. Insert money, the cooler door opens) and a fully costumed cantina band, alternating between Figrin D'an and the Modal Nodes & the Max Rebo Band. Occasionally, there are breaks with a single, softly playing Jizz wailer keeping tune for a Twi'Lek dancer.

Each booth has several power outlets where patrons can charge their mobile devices. Chargers of every kind (except iPhone dock connectors) are available for rent at the bar. Food would be of a Star Wars nature, of course... nerf steaks, ronto burgers, fillet of dewback, Kowakian Monkey-lizard fingers, dianoga tentacles, rancor claws, etc...

If an iPhone, iPod, or Mac Book user walks in, a surly-looking bartender says in a gruff voice "we don't serve their kind here." If the startled would-be patron asks what he means, he replies "your Apples, they'll have to wait outside."

Of course, you don't really have to choose between leaving it outside or finding another venue... but the free Wi-Fi is available for 'Droids (Android smartphones and tablets) only. All others (not just Apple devices) must pay. Apple users simply pay a little bit more.

21 Quest, Oct 26 2011

Not The Droids You're Looking For, Modern Edition http://jacobtitanic...indsight-droids.jpg
[theircompetitor, Oct 26 2011]

Non-alcoholic bar http://gomestic.com...s-nonalcoholic-bar/
Not saying it HAS to be alcohol free, either... but the alcohol is not the main draw of this place. Just a social hangout kinda place. [21 Quest, Oct 27 2011]


       Good luck getting Lucas to sign off on that one. A family- oriented restaurant, maybe, but he's too savvy to directly associate his franchise with alchohol.
Alterother, Oct 26 2011

       Doesn't have to serve alcohol... could be a cantina-themed restaurant for all I care, it's not the menu that counts here.
21 Quest, Oct 26 2011

       Ah, I see. According to recent ground-breaking studies, I was misled by the word 'bar' in the description.
Alterother, Oct 26 2011

       Why no Apple devices? Is it supposed to be a dystopian theme where technology exists but is unreliable?
nomocrow, Oct 26 2011

       It's a play on a scene from Episode 4, when Luke and Obiwan first enter the Mos Eisley Cantina. The bartender says "we don't serve their kind here!". Luke gets a perplexed look on his face and the bartender clarifies: "Your droids, they'll have to wait outside."

       That said, I think an operating system with more capability, a MUCH larger market share, and yes, a few bugs still needing to be worked out (but don't get me started on the bugs I've found in the new iPhones) would fit perfectly in a Star Wars setting.

       Apple products are (mostly) reliable.... you can always count on them to limit your capability and find ways to take your money.
21 Quest, Oct 26 2011

       Just out of curiousity, [21], do you drive a Ford?
Alterother, Oct 26 2011

       As long as you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy, it will be fine, even if it doesn't serve alcohol.
8th of 7, Oct 27 2011

       You must be cautious... a non-canon character such as yourself might just fit in even better than you think. We've never had a Borg on staff before.
21 Quest, Oct 27 2011

       The funny thing about Star Trek characters is that they'd fit just fine into the Star Wars universe, yet for some reason very few Trekkers seem to accept that the opposite might be true as well.
Alterother, Oct 27 2011

       Hmm... Klingon vs. Wookie matches would be interesting.
RayfordSteele, Oct 27 2011

       I don't think it's the fitting in that Trekkies object to... it's the question of fitting where? The idea that Jim Kirk might actually meet his match if he tried to take on a Sith or a Jedi, or indeed a Wookie, using simple mind games and Judo, really gets their panties in a bunch and they start screaming 'MFD magic'. It's the idea that Star Trek technology MAY (and I'm not saying it would or wouldn't) find itself outmatched, and indeed overwhelmed, by the technology of the Star Wars universe.

       I do think it would be interesting watching a business transaction between a Ferengi and a Toydarian, and I think the Klingons would be a better match for the Yuuzhan Vong than the Wookies. The Borg Collective vs Ssi Ruuvi Imperium would be epic.
21 Quest, Oct 27 2011

       That's the problem with trying to compare unapologetic space opera with a series that diligently tries to be hard sci-fi but routinely misses the mark. Star Trek has an intrinsic identity crisis, whereas Star Wars is perfectly comfortable with its 'just go with it' fuzzy areas.

       The Ssi Ruuvi were a fluke; farbeit for me to criticize another writer's dream (except that's pretty much standard practice for us), but _Truce at Bakura_ should have been torpedoed in the concept stage. As for the Yuzhan Vong, well, that whole series was pretty much a well-funded but ultimately failed attempt to re-boot the novel franchise. Better to re-visit the established eras from new and different angles than to draw the timeline out far beyond reasonable limits.
Alterother, Oct 27 2011

       I dunno, I thought the concept of an extra-galactic invading force was kinda neat. I still don't see why it was necessary to kill off key characters like Chewie though... and you want to be careful revisiting themes of the past. They've done that, writing countless backstories like 'loyalties', 'Millenium Falcon', and that one about the painting that took place back in the same time as episode 4.
21 Quest, Oct 27 2011

       No expanded franchise is immune to duds and fizzles. I'm thinking of the short story compilations, Shadows of the Empire, and various explorations of the Clone Wars and Old Republic eras. Those are the strongest continuations of the franchise, to my eye.
Alterother, Oct 27 2011

       //would fit perfectly in a Star Wars setting//

       Oh, I get it. The good guys would have used Macs.
nomocrow, Nov 04 2011

       No, the good guys would be running the bar. It would be staffed with Rebel sympathizers helping the good guys hide from the Stormtrooper patrols. The stormtroopers would be using iPads.
21 Quest, Nov 04 2011

       I didnt realise there was a diference between Star War and Star Trex, I thought one was an episode of the other. Wasn't Lucas Skywalker the captain of the Enteprise?
pocmloc, Nov 04 2011

       You shall burn for that.
Alterother, Nov 04 2011

       Well if the naming convention works like music CDs, then the Star Track is simply one chapter of the greater Star Wars album.
21 Quest, Nov 04 2011

       [Wasn't Lucas Skywalker the captain of the Enteprise?]

       Uh, I think you're mixing that up with another popular sci-fi character: Benny Gesserit, a bespectacled Egyptologist who ends up fighting the evil House Harkonnen after his journey through the Stargate.
notmarkflynn, Nov 05 2011


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