Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Drunkard's Car

Allow drunken idiots to drive themselves and their friends home in safety!
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
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Provide easily recognisable, bright yellow, soft rubber vehicles which can be rented from town/city centre locations. They would only be available for half an hour or so after all the pubs, clubs and bars have shut. Make them battery powered with a top speed of 5 mph and a range of 7.5 miles. This should allow all but the most commmited buffoon to get home, but if they go for a jaunt, then they won't get very far. Fit them with GPS trackers so a truck can pick up all the depleted cars at around 3 o'clock in the morning.

By posting warning signs, other road users would be made aware of the fact that the roads will contain barely controlled comedy vehicles between the hours of midnight and 3 am. Making the vehicles soft and bouncy would prevent damage to the environment, buildings, pedestrians etc. In addition, most drunkards are willing to part with ridiculous amounts of money for stupid yellow things, so it could well run at a profit.

Everybody wins!

alien_burrito, Feb 25 2004

Oregon DUI laws http://www.or-drunk...wyer.com/stateinfo/
"One does not need to be actually driving to be cited, as long as police have probable cause to put you behind the wheel of a vehicle." [Klaatu, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       So what happens when a foam rubber bouncy car goes down the wrong side of the motorway at 5 mph facing cars going 60 mph? Or even goes down the right side where the cars are overtaking at 55 mph? The instictive reaction all the drivers is not going to be "That's one of those foam cars, I'll just hit it and nothing bad will happen." but, "S*#@" followed by the sound of screeching tires and crunching metal as the driver swerves to try and avoid the obsticle.   

       And if you can't prevent someone from driving drunk, how are you going to force them to take the drunk car?
GenYus, Feb 25 2004

       We shouldn't be wasting our time and effort even considering ways of making drunk driving safe. It never will be and quite frankly, if you can't find another way to get home or somewhere else to stay then you shouldn't go out drinking in the first place.
hazel, Feb 25 2004

       How many of these would the council have to fish out of canals every night?
kropotkin, Feb 25 2004

       Drunken idiots seem to think that they are capable of driving (the phrase "I can handle it" was uttered regularly by my favorite drunk driver). In my experience, they would never go for the drunkard car.   

       Any car would be dangerous due, if nothing else, to the mass. It may have rubber bumpers, but it'd still squash a child.   

       If you can find a way to convince drunks to use alternative vehicles, I might support supplying them with tricycles.
half, Feb 25 2004

       It's illegal in the UK to drive a bicycle (and presumably tricycle*) when drunk - it carries the same penalties as drink-driving. Therefore a 15 year old could technically be convicted of drunk driving and receive points on their license before they even have one.   

       * although you'd probably find that there's one of those random laws which states that being inebriated in charge of a tricycle is legal after nightfall in Chester on a Tuesday when there's a full moon.
hazel, Feb 25 2004

       A wheelchair. Certainly they can handle a low-powered electric wheelchair. It can't be illegal to drive one of those drunk.
Worldgineer, Feb 25 2004

       <rant alert> In most states you can be prosecuted for driving, riding a bicycle, riding a horse or even driving a lawn tractor while intoxicated <link>. What is so difficult about calling a taxi or not getting so slammed in the first place?   

       I say that all drivers convicted of DUI be forced to work for 6 months, on weekends (graveyard shift), in a major trauma center to watch the carnage that happens at 2AM every Friday and Saturday night. Watch the 24 year-old who just killed a father and son, who were doing nothing wrong, go off to jail. Listen to the paramedics talk about how they had to cut the tree to free the truck. Listen to the police describe how the bodies had to go to the wrecking yard because they were so mixed in with the wreckage that freeing them was impossible. Try to put the little baby "back together" after someone decided that they were "fine to drive" and slammed into the car on that baby's side. Watch this for awhile and see if you still feel "fine to drive".   

       I apologize to everyone for this rant. I worked 10 years in a major trauma center in California and this happened every weekend, and most weeknights. If you ever feel the need to drink and drive, please go visit, volunteer or spend some time in a trauma center at 2AM on a weekend. If it changes just one person's mind about drinking and driving, then it will be worth it. <end rant>   

       And, auto-fishbone from me for ANY idea which promotes drinking and driving.
Klaatu, Feb 25 2004

       I said I _might_ support the tricycle thing. But, if I did, it would be for the entertainment value and I'd have to hold exclusive rights to the ticket sales. For the record, I would never promote drinking and driving and I don't drink alcohol.
half, Feb 25 2004

       get a powered wheel chair, as far as popular lore in the UK, would have it you can't be arrested for being drunk in charge of a wheelchair
engineer1, Mar 01 2004

       //Allow drunken idiots to drive //
You've said too much with the first 5 words of the description. Sorry - fishbone.
Letsbuildafort, Mar 01 2004

       It's hit rock bottom in the Half-Bakery today -
Ossalisc, Mar 01 2004


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