h a l f b a k e r yCogito, ergo sumthin'
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Not so long ago, the local library was shut down when an astute librarian noticed suspicious powder on a returned tape. In their ever-present paranoia, local officials wouldn't let anyone leave, and only by some oversight did they fail to have the unfortunate library patrons within strip down for decontamination.
Later, a part time radio personality admitted that he had accidentally spilled ant poison powder on one or more tapes that he had returned. That seemed reasonable enough to the local officials, so they let him go with a warning.
Now, I'm not going to let terrorist threats change the way I live, and I think most Americans feel the same way. But some small steps have to be taken against the real danger of powdered pathogens. Thus, my new product E-Pellet. Everything in pellet form. Ant poison shouldnt be in powder form to begin with. E-Pellets about the size of marbles, preferably. (Might be a little hard to swallow for an ant, but they are nibblers, I think.) Talcum powder -- that can be in E-Pellets that you rub under your arm or on the babys bottom. Sugar already comes in cubes, but salt! I may have trouble competing with some forms of rock salt, but I think that my E-pellets will be preferred at discriminating tables they will be perfectly (and perhaps sensually) formed, and uniform in size.
I have purchased manufacturing facilities, and as soon as Congress acts, I am ready to move. Investors may contact me directly.
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But then everything would come in pellet form and there would be widspread pellet fear. "What is it? Don't touch it! It's a pellet! Wait do you have your pellet color guide? Yes I do. What color is it? Aqua. Lets see..aqua...aqua, ah here it is..sea bass salt. Oh good I needed some of that." |
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The idea, lazloquezos, is that the pellet is too large to go up your nose
Actually, after I posted this I had the thought that I had not explained the rationale in full. So thanks. (Perhaps I shouldnt mention this, but I now have my scientists busy trying to pelletize house dust and that, by the way, is going to be a terrible marketing challenge.) |
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Nice and easy clean up. Now that's something I like. |
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By your own reckoning, you owe $390.00 for posting this idea. That brings the total thus far to $780.00. |
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No, no, thumbwax. I've now saved around $9,000. Don't you understand shopper's arithmetic? |
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Yes. So far, you're the only baker-cadet who owes money, as the rest got their ideas posted for free. |
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Thumbwax: the check is in the mail. If you notice some powder in the envelope, don't be concerned I just spilled a little talc this morning. |
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's OK - I'm going to forward it to the Bit- I mean, ex anyway - no doubt she needs more money for her 6th house. Enjoy it while you can, @#$&* - <daily prayer>please, oh please die a slow painful death</daily prayer> |
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wait a second I need to stand under the flag in my front
yard with my hand over my heart and sing the american
national anthem with a tear in my eye. Get over it bad
things happen every day in every country and the most it
will warrent is a ten second news bite, its supprising that
its taken this long to get into the west, I dont think that
changing everything into pellets will make any difference,
psychos will find a way around it. |
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Yet again, the satire (if you will kindly allow me to call it that) was too well hidden. But how about the subsequent idea of pelletizing house dust...no more allergies, no more dusting. Just get a shovel -- the manly way to clean! |
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(My wife will not allow me to use the leaf-blower in the house, thus the genesis of the idea.) |
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Will there be cartels of colubian "marble" smugglers now? Will cocain addicts develop nostrils large enough to fit their own thumbs in? |
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