Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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This would work fine, except in terms of success.

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EZ TV Zs Remote Tranquilizer

General Anaesthetic administration for restless insomniacs
  [vote for,

It's 2:15AM, you still can't sleep, and you couldn't buy the Whippy Mixer because your card was cancelled a month ago.

Your worries are over!

Using the incredible new EZ TV Zs Remote, restless insomniacs who channel surf the witching hours should fret no more! Simply program in the time you wish to fall sleep, and the amazing EZ TV Zs Remote will administer a mild tranquilizer into your wrist, finger, even your nether regions!

We guarantee you won't even make it into work the next day!

Our patented tamper-proof construction ensures that no funny stuff can keep you from your date with dozieland! The EZ TV Zs Remote is equipped with our special "NO Z PutZ" technology which immediately administers twice the FDA-approved dosage into the offending party's bloodstream. This includes housemates, children, even pets!

What's more, the EZ TV Zs Remote cannot be reprogrammed, so you're assured deep, satisfying sleep for as many weeks as it takes for the batteries to run dry!

Note: This product is not recommended for use with garage door-openers.

emlyn, Jun 02 2003


       Honey, it's happening!
Oh, my God! <Tony Orlando/>You're having my baby...</Tony Orlando>
That's good, sweetie! Breathe, breeeeathe!
Hoohoo Are you gonna put the remote down or what? hoohoo
Oh, my God! It's zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
thumbwax, Jun 02 2003

       You forgot to say how it works. Is it that Star Trek technology where your skin doesn't get pirced when you get an injection?
snarfyguy, Jun 02 2003

       Hmmm, build it right into the remote. That's creative; I like it. I still prefer the old-fashioned way: Pour 2 oz of bourbon. Drink. Repeat as necessary.
phundug, Jun 02 2003


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