Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Eau de Humanité

Water, from humans, for consumption, by humans.
  (+8, -3)
(+8, -3)
  [vote for,

Pure, exquisitely filtered water, previously resident inside humans; bottled and marketed to the credulous and ecological sustainability fanatics.

You know it will just take one high profile celebrity to be seen quaffing this in public and all of the "beautiful" sheople will follow, especially if it's marketed in recycled plastic bottles and given a name that sounds somehow French and exotic.

UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012

Sheeple HTTP://XKCD.COM/1013/
Don't mess with sheeple [erenjay, Apr 25 2012]


       Tiny Bubbas in the wine, make me feel happy, make me feel fine.
AusCan531, Apr 23 2012

       Eau de Humanité Bottling Company, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Paper Street Soap Co.
Alterother, Apr 23 2012

       [+] for irony, [-] for jumping on the bandwagon and using the ghastly word "sheeple".
hippo, Apr 23 2012

       Perhaps if the water came from a celebrity...   

       ImBieber - now with added selenium gomez.
4whom, Apr 23 2012

       [hippo], did you actually award and then rescind your bun? Otherwise it doesn't count.
Alterother, Apr 23 2012

       /fancy French name/
It could be sold by the twelve dozen:

       "Eaauuuu: Gross"   

FlyingToaster, Apr 23 2012

       Steve Eau, enough said.   

       Bear Grylls, unfiltered.
4whom, Apr 23 2012

       A bun for the pun alone.   

       OT: Motto of the French Navy*:
"A l'Eau, c'est l'Heure"

       *According to Alan Coren.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Apr 23 2012

       Sorry, [hippo], but you know it's the best possible descriptor for those automatons who read magazine articles about "celebrities" and then buy / flaunt / emulate their purchases and baa-a-a-haviour because it's cool.
UnaBubba, Apr 23 2012

       <whispers> Soylant clear is people...   

       Distilled from Eau d'Hindenburg - "Wake up and taste the thermite"
TolpuddleSartre, Apr 23 2012

       funny but OMG it could maybe work, which horrifies me
EdwinBakery, Apr 23 2012

       "... and this is a very fine vintage Dylan Thomas, 40% ABV... "   


       PS What [EB] said.
8th of 7, Apr 23 2012

       I realised that when I thought of it. I'm sure there are also people who would willingly partake of the filtered by-products of Angelina Jolie or Beyonce or, heaven forfend, Lindsey Whatever-her-name-is, and do so happily.
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012

       Didn't the Fremen of Arrakis recycle the water of their dead in Dune? I can't remember.   

       Probably, [2fries]. There was some pretty cool water-saving going on in that book.
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012

       Not only the water of their dead; the Fremen wore 'stillsuits' that recycled pretty much all excretions into water they sipped from a straw near their collar. One of the books even described a system that cooled the water as they moved. I'm not sure if it ever said what, if anything, the stillsuit does with fecal matter.
Alterother, Apr 24 2012

       That's one of the best halfbaked inventions in sci-fi. I think bodily motion powered the pumping and filteration .
rcarty, Apr 24 2012

       I believe that as well. I think the motion-powered cooling appuratus came much later, in one of the interminable sequels.   

       Dune also has serious scifi cred for the extensive use of ornithopters. And that's coming from a real fiction author, so you know it's legit.
Alterother, Apr 24 2012


       No, really, I just got another piece published.
Alterother, Apr 24 2012

       Congrats, the [Alterother]. What was it?
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 24 2012

       Oh, but that will spoil my little self-gratification game.   

       What the hell, nobody's playing anyway. It's in next month's issue of Gemini, an online lit journal (http://gemini- magazine.com/). Not exactly sure when it will come out. The story is called 'Let's Rob a Bank'. It's the first of many to come.   

       I am, of course, proud as piss.
Alterother, Apr 24 2012

       Well done. I'll keep an eye out.
UnaBubba, Apr 24 2012

       Excellent. Congrats.   

       I was playing [Alterother]. I've already surreptitiously assassinated 7 men in the mountains of Maine who roughly fit your description (motorcyclists, writers, men whose wives are named 'Jenny', people with parents who are vets, etc.). Now that you're just handing us the answer I might as well quit playing. On the plus side, your welding business will pick up as a large number of your local competitors seem to have met with an unfortunate demise. (Congrats - will watch out for your story)
AusCan531, Apr 25 2012

       I'm glad you got some fun out of it, then. Feel free to claim your prize whenever you like! Seriously, anyone who sends me a snail address gets an autographed object that has rested within arm's reach of where I work my magic. When my first novel gets optioned into a blockbuster screenplay, the e-bay value will be slightly more than I paid to ship it to you.   

       Actually, this works out even better for me, vanity-wise, because instead of imagining that everyone's scouring the literary world trying to figure out who the mysterious genius is, now I get to imagine all of you reading my stories and bragging to your friends and relatives about how you know me.
Alterother, Apr 25 2012

       // I am, of course, proud as piss.// Isn't that, of course, what this idea is all about? Next you'll have us queueing up for Eau de Alterother.
jurist, Apr 25 2012

       Take a number, please.
Alterother, Apr 25 2012

spidermother, Apr 25 2012

       //I've already surreptitiously assassinated 7 men//   

       Always with the same spring-loaded deer-thrower? If you're not careful, people will catch on.
pertinax, Apr 25 2012

       In order to prolong the fun for [Alterother] and myself I shall continue playing with renewed vigour until the article is published. (If publication is delayed because of some unfortunate fire-bombing of Gemini's offices, well, these things happen. - probably just some misinformed Greenies who think all magazines cause trees to be cut down)
AusCan531, Apr 25 2012


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