Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Edible bibles

"You brought bibles but you didn't bring food?"
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
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Missionaries are sometimes, fairly or not, criticised for evangelising without offering practical help, summed up by the above quote. The answer would seem to be to ensure that any religious literature taken to areas where there is a malnutrition or famine problem is not only edible but also compostable and contains the seeds of food crops. Make the paper edible, i.e. rice paper. If rice paper isn't enough, make it from something else which is more nutritious. In some cases, impregnate the paper with relevant antibiotics and substances non-toxic to humans which kill the organisms associated with dysentery, depending on the situation. Print them with ink which is also nutritious. Include seeds in the paper which will germinate when the bible is discarded. Enable rehydration therapy by making them replace the appropriate substances in the human body when ground. Basically, just make the bibles as useful as possible for nutrition, medicine, compost and as a source of food crops.

Do the same for Gideon bibles and provide hotel guests with free food.

nineteenthly, Aug 04 2012

Bibles, other religious texts and ... a landrover ad http://adsoftheworl...uide?size=_original
[jutta, Aug 04 2012]

Mudworms (Xenoturbella) http://news.bbc.co..../nature/3170245.stm
[UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012]


       I wonder what it would be like to apply this same idea for all kinds of religious text. (e.g. Koran)
mofosyne, Aug 04 2012

       Waiter, this bible tastes a bit Muslim - have you got anything Catholic-flavoured?
Phrontistery, Aug 04 2012

       This Idea probably won't be adopted by any actual missionaries. That's because they wouldn't want it to be possible for them to ever be in a situation where they might have to "eat their words".
Vernon, Aug 04 2012

       I've always preferred the Orange Catholic Bible myself. It makes for a refreshing citrus flavor.
Hive_Mind, Aug 05 2012

       That very name is linked to carrots.
nineteenthly, Aug 05 2012

       Force feeding comes to mind.
xenzag, Aug 05 2012

       I like the idea of being able to make some sort of salad out of lies.
rcarty, Aug 05 2012

       "Last night we dined on a fine missionary... flavoured with a few testament leaves, a little Revelation and a pinch of Lot's wife."
UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012

       // I like the idea of being able to make some sort of salad out of lies. //   

       Sorry, the News of the World has shut down, but there are other News International publications that you might like to try.   

       // Lot's wife //   

       Best take that one with a pinch of salt ...   


       @ ... @ ... @ .... @ .... @ ....@ ....   

       <bell in abandoned adobe church clangs in wind>   

8th of 7, Aug 05 2012

       "Well, we have a bible, now all we need is some brimstone."
UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012

       Soft rock over heavy metal, then ?
8th of 7, Aug 05 2012

       Given the density of paper in one, they would probably be best employed as fuel for cooking fires in northern Africa, where dried dung is often used, to the detriment of the user's respiratory health.
UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012

       "he that breatheth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live...."   

       No, there's something not quite right about that ...
8th of 7, Aug 05 2012

       Breathing sulphur combustion by-products is not that good for you.
UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012

       ... unless you happen to be an archaeobarcerium or a tubeworm that lives in the immediate vicinity of a deep-ocean hydrothermal vent.   

       Amazing, really. These life forms haven't evolved for billions of years, and they live in an environment of complete isolation, total darkness, crushing pressure and hot, toxic chemicals, and they can still hold up neatly printed signs saying "VOTE ROMNEY"...
8th of 7, Aug 05 2012

       Don't forget, Christians... you share 68% of your DNA with mudworms. <link>
UnaBubba, Aug 05 2012

       Christians are 100% like mudworms in having the same damn clue about existence.
rcarty, Aug 06 2012

       That was the implication I was inferring.
UnaBubba, Aug 06 2012

       Also occurs to me that the OT could be kosher and the NT not.
nineteenthly, Aug 06 2012

       what would a bible be made to taste like exactly? Should it taste good or bad?   

       A whole new religion based on an edible holy book could be formed, i feel an opportunity for a new religion led by famous actors and dignitaries is at hand it would be unstoppable especially if there was a diet version available.
vfrackis, Aug 06 2012

       Yes, that should definitely be done. Maybe a book based on a finely sliced loaf.
nineteenthly, Aug 06 2012

       //Missionaries are sometimes, fairly or not, criticised for evangelising without offering practical help//   

       Usually by nonmissionaries who offer no help at all.
RayfordSteele, Aug 06 2012

       Non-missionaries who, like the missionaries, have no flavoursome sacred texts to proffer.
nineteenthly, Aug 06 2012

       If the OT touched the NT it would no longer be kosher.
Voice, Aug 06 2012

       mmm.... sacrilicious   

       * Homer Simpson drooling sounds *
Cuit_au_Four, Aug 06 2012

       We just need to get some old aged people to endorse daily bible eating.
rcarty, Aug 06 2012

       Dunno about that [Rayf]. I help with supply of wells and water filtration for villages in Bangladesh (Major problem with arsenic in groundwater there). I'm also about as anti-missionary and anti-religious as anyone I've ever met.   

       I particularly like the story told by Sam Clements about the missionary who visited an Innuit tribe to bring them Christianity.   

       After he explained about the concept and the fact that the tribe's leaders now knew about the need to atone for their past sins... that they would have to embrace it to save their souls... because they now knew about this new religion... , one of the leaders said to the missionary, "What the hell were you thinking, telling us about it? If we'd stayed ignorant of it we'd have been looked after as innocents. Now we have to change our entire lives because you couldn't keep your mouth shut."
UnaBubba, Aug 07 2012

       I'm well aware that there a host of exceptions. But like humanity in every other situation, the overall level of criticism seems to outpace the action.
RayfordSteele, Aug 07 2012

       Well isn't that the function of criticism, to cause some sort of dissonance in actors to prevent action?
rcarty, Aug 07 2012

RayfordSteele, Aug 07 2012

       I'm saved and my life is graciously extended every time someone converted to the law books of the civic code, operation of the vehicle, and a rational system of thinking, and a careful and responsible attitude about others applies their brakes at an intersection.
rcarty, Aug 07 2012

       My point was that missionaries, who in my direct and indirect experience do provide a great deal of practical assistance in the moder era, take a lot of ribbing from critics, many of whom provide no assistance to these same places.   

       Really, I regard much of the religious satire here as fruit that hangs precipitously close to the underside of the bridge.
RayfordSteele, Aug 08 2012

       Religious people form organized social groupings that independent critics usually do not. If I could verify as true the existence of god or the soul then I could be authentically religious but because each of the things religion presents are imaginary I can't help but conclude religious people help eachother argue over imaginary things.   

       I will now read of intersubjectivty, slathering the pages in a rich creamy sauce, as I prepare them noodlelike.
rcarty, Aug 08 2012

       Ah, now noodles are another matter entirely...
nineteenthly, Aug 08 2012

       //Religious people help eachother argue over imaginary things//   

       On a tangentially unrelated note, a formerly rational colleague of mine, having escaped unhurt from an horrendous car crash, claims that he has discovered God, and that God has told him to work to unite Muslims and Christians. I pointed out to him that, surely, religion was the main thing dividing them in the first place. He did not take this kindly.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 08 2012

       Is he sure God didn't say "untie" ?
FlyingToaster, Aug 08 2012

       Maybe the dog wanted him to untie Charity Tins I with mails.
nineteenthly, Aug 08 2012

       He was pretty adamant about the "unite" part. I also understand that god spoke to him, rather than texting or emailing, so the odds of a typographical error are slim.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 08 2012


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