Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Electric Candy

Candy lozenges that are a battery. You feel the electricity on your tongue as you suck on them.
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Non poisonous edible elements of a battery put into a candy lozenge that gives you a mild electrical buzz as your saliva establishes contact between the positive and negative terminals as suck on them.

Call them "Zappers" or something.

doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2022

Inspired by this. sugar_20powered_20battery
[doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2022]

try pop rocks https://www.pop-roc...m/as-an-ingredient/
[xandram, Jan 25 2022]

Malt Tesers https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maltesers
Presumably banned from export to the colonies [pocmloc, Jan 31 2022]

Researchers craft a fully edible battery https://arstechnica...lly-edible-battery/
[Voice, May 10 2023]

Sorry Indian Institute Of Science, beat you by a month. https://patents.goo...)&oq=edible+battery
They might not have seen this but I published it a month before they applied for their patent, they can't claim priority. [doctorremulac3, May 10 2023]

[link]






       I've heard that if you swallow a battery, the issue is not the poisonous nature of the materials inside, but rather the chemical products of the batteries' discharge in your stomach acid.   

       So it might not be great if you swallowed one, non-toxic or no.   

       Let me check up on that, though....
Yes - continued discharge creates caustic soda, which has untoward effects.
  

       I think if the electrical charge held was low and quickly discharged (as I assume you're imagining) then it /probably/ wouldn't be an issue most of the time.
But there might still be a risk if someone ate many at once and they weren't spent before reaching the stomach, so it's probably not a safe bet.
Loris, Jan 25 2022
  

       //I think if the electrical charge held was low and quickly discharged (as I assume you're imagining) then it /probably/ wouldn't be an issue most of the time.,//   

       Correct Loris, this would be imminently controllable, the current I'm talking about this creating would be barely perceptible.   

       A good comparison would be carbonation or mint flavors. These give very slight stimulation to the sensory facilities of the mouth that generate very very small pain responses. These don't rise to the level of pain, rather just stimulation.   

       And you're correct, although this would be nothing like licking the terminal of a battery, sticking your finger in a light socket or putting your tongue on the third rail like a1 is ranting about, the effect would be enhanced by taking too many of these, so the warning would be put in place and made known similar to a bottle of very hot sauce which you would never take a big swig of.   

       I'm thinking this would be adjusted to create a low enough current to stimulate the senses about as much as a wintergreen lifesaver.
doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2022
  

       //putting your tongue on the third rail// could become the next must-do meme. Enterprising companies would sell special clamp devices with long rubber handles which provide a platform to support the tongue-putter above the rail totally insulated from the ground and other objects. Then they can touch the third rail with their tongue in complete* safety. Meanwhile frame-mounted selfie cameras film the tongue touching and post it to Binky or whatever social media platform the user is addicted to.
pocmloc, Jan 25 2022
  

       I'm hearing of some pretty scary Tick Tock challenges, that would probably fit right in.   

       Speaking of addiction, I'm thinking people could get addicted to these. What is it, dopamine that gets triggered by pain responses? I always get serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin confused. Could look it up I guess.   

       Naaa.
doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2022
  

       You could always try the real candy * pop rocks * that would produce a similar effect, but I guess that wouldn’t be as much fun.
xandram, Jan 25 2022
  

       Ooh...
Piezoelectric crystals in bubble gum. Diabolical.
  

       //You could always try the real candy * pop rocks * that would produce a similar effect//   

       Oh yea, I remember those. That was the idea, they were these little explosions. Wonder if those are still legal.
doctorremulac3, Jan 25 2022
  

       Why yes. Simple CO2 reaction. We gave a few to the toddler half a dozen years ago. He was quite quizzical about the experience.   

       How many wintergreen lifesaver sparks required to lift the weight of one wintergreen lifesaver?
RayfordSteele, Jan 25 2022
  

       You know pointing these out is really making me think there's a market for these.
Sparks, explosions, this would fit right into an already proven market.
  

       "Here, try one of these. They electrocute your mouth."
I might say "You first." but after the person offering it showed no ill effects I'd try one.
  

       Like telling somebody "Wow, this really stinks." there's not a person in the world who would just take your word for it.
All humans say "Let me smell... WHOA! THAT'S NASTY!!".
doctorremulac3, Jan 26 2022
  

       I wonder what electricity does to the bacteria and germs in your mouth.   

       Hmmm, so you call it the breath mint that shocks bad breath?
Doesn't matter if it does, get a guy in a lab coat with a stethoscope around his neck and you're good to go.
  

       But I assume if the voltage is high enough it'll wipe out 100% of the germs or bacteria in your mouth.
Crank it up to 14KV or so there's a smoking stump where your face used to be.
  

       There's your commercial. "Afraid your face will be a smoking stump if you try delicious Zappers candy?
Well, not to worry. 9 out of 10 people who survived Zappers candy found them delicious."
doctorremulac3, Jan 26 2022
  

       - Ohm My Gush!
- Salivolting.
- Amperically Delectricious!
- Now with fresh currents!
- Count Scrackula.
  

       Oh this shit just writes itself!   

       Hahaha, [doc]. "Are you smoking stump? Don't bother, just try Zaphead lozenges"
4and20, Jan 28 2022
  

       "Jolts" would be a good name for these.   

       Just occurs to me, you could have the pop rocks feature as well.
doctorremulac3, Jan 28 2022
  

       Pop Rocks were really fun to give to your unsuspecting parents. Hahaha, I knew what they were gonna do, but my Mom's face was epic. Hahahahaahaaa
blissmiss, Jan 29 2022
  

       Come on guys, we all know they'd be called Tazers.   

       Also available in a malt flavour. You can guess what they'd be called.
Loris, Jan 30 2022
  

       That's crazy, I JUST watched a documentary on the invention of the Taser. The inventor was inspired by a comic book of a guy who used an electronic rifle to stun bad guy and he named his invention after that.   

       Taser is an acronym for Tom A. Swift Electric Rifle after the Tom Swift books about an inventor of amazing gadgets were a childhood favorite of the inventor.   

       And yes, Tongue Tasers, or Tasty Tasers would be a great name. Malt Tasers? Taser Malts? I give up.
doctorremulac3, Jan 30 2022
  

       Me too, Doctorwho. I thought it was just me being dumb. Ok Loris, you got us with your taser, now give it up.
blissmiss, Jan 31 2022
  

       I guess Maltesers are just not a thing in the US then, even though Wikipedia says they've been sold there since 2017.
Loris, Jan 31 2022
  

       Yup, that would be obvious. Never heard of them though.   

       Very weird name for a candy no?
doctorremulac3, Jan 31 2022
  

       <Malteasers> //Very weird name for a candy no?//   

       I think it's just because you don't recognise it, and you're familiar with your local brand of wierdness. Because a quick investigation reveals that popular American sweets have names like Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and Twizzler.   

       We have Snickers bars here too - they used to be called "Marathon" bars. /Still/ seems wierd to me, though, over 30 years later.
Loris, Jan 31 2022
  

       Snickers, pl. of snicker, n. that which snicks (q.v.)
pocmloc, Jan 31 2022
  

       //Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and Twizzler.//   

       Yea, maybe, but I think there's a method to the candies you listed. Following the outline I'd say these names might work:   

       Tinkadoodles, Snoodles, Binkiboos, Doodlies, Gummyummies, Jinxies, etc.   

       I'd say Marathon Bar and Malteasers doesn't fit with that naming method because they actually say something. A Marathon bar assumes it's going to take a long time to eat, like hours. That doesn't seem like fun to me. I just want a little snack, not to have to set aside a day on my calendar to eat a candy bar. Malteasers sounds like there's a hit of malt, it just teases the tastebuds so you go "Hey, is that some measure of malt flavoring?" which isn't something I'd say if I was eating a candy bar. I'd just say I like it or not. Pointing out one very subtle flavor isn't something that I'd do personally.
doctorremulac3, Jan 31 2022
  

       //Snickers, Twinkie, Tootsie roll and Twizzler.//   

       Yea, maybe, but I think there's a method to the candies you listed. Following the outline I'd say these names might work:   

       Tinkadoodles, Snoodles, Binkiboos, Doodlies, Gummyummies, Jinxies, etc. because they're blank meaning words that hint at something kind of fun.   

       I'd say Marathon Bar and Malteasers doesn't fit with that naming method because they actually say something. A Marathon bar assumes it's going to take a long time to eat, like hours. That doesn't seem like fun to me. I just want a little snack, not to have to set aside a day on my calendar to eat a candy bar.   

       Malteasers sounds like there's a hint of malt, it just teases the tastebuds so you go "Hey, is that some measure of malt flavoring in this?" which isn't something I'd say if I was eating a candy bar. I'd just say I like it or not. Pointing out one very subtle flavor isn't something that I'd do personally.   

       Oops, hold the phone, they're "Maltesers" (see Poc's link) so I have no idea what that's supposed to make you visualize. Sounds like a torture device. "The UN has voted to ban the use of maltesers on political prisoners."
doctorremulac3, Jan 31 2022
  

       How's about a nice game of confectionary Liff?   

       Snickers - A contraction of Skiddy Knickers, i.e. dirty girls underpants.   

       Twinkie - aw, did didums get an ouchie?   

       Tootsie roll - a toe-jam flavoured sponge roll.   

       Twizzler - isn't that some sort of low-grade reconstituted meat product intended for underprivileged schoolchildren?
Loris, Jan 31 2022
  

       Speaking of inappropriately named products, there's this product here called "Dreamies". Sounds like some sort of sweetie, right?   

       .   

       It's food for cats.
Loris, Jan 31 2022
  

       Dreamies is cat food? I'd hope they make that clear, sounds delicious.
doctorremulac3, Jan 31 2022
  

       Wonder if they got the idea from here. It's happened before.   

       Just checked, they applied for their patent a month after I published the idea here. Sorry Indian Institute Of Science, you can't claim priority, posting on a public website constitutes publishing and this was published Jan 25 2022, almost a month before you put in your application.   

       Or do they already know that? Hmm. This might get interesting.
doctorremulac3, May 10 2023
  

       The inability of Patent Offices to do a proper "prior art" search strikes again...
neutrinos_shadow, May 10 2023
  

       I'm open to selling them my priority rights. It's passed 12 months since being published so I can't patent it, but they can't either. An idea has to be new, once I published it here it wasn't new anymore.   

       In other words, I own priority, it's just not worth anything unless I pass those rights to the people who put the patent in within that proper timeframe.   

       I think.   

       Anyway, I was kind of excited about this idea until I was about halfway through typing it here when I realized these little zapper candies would be a lot of fun, until they landed on a metal tooth filling.
doctorremulac3, May 10 2023
  

       I am not a lawyer, but based on my understanding, this half-baked idea has no bearing on that patent. You are proposing an edible battery for the purpose of causing a sensation when in the mouth. I imagine that may have been patentable. They are using an edible battery for completely different purposes. The concept of an edible battery in general predates both of these ideas. In the Patent Citations, the patent examiner added a links to Patent WO2008030480A2 (2006) which contains the following text: "Alternatively, battery 702 may be comprised of biologically safe materials, such as citric juices or semi-solids, ".
scad mientist, May 11 2023
  

       I'll add a [+] for the original idea though.
scad mientist, May 11 2023
  

       True, but might be open to interpretation, it's the same basic system used for another purpose.   

       Here's what I know about patents, they're "fluid" in their usefulness. These are just documents that give you a reason to go to court. Once you're there, you're dealing with humans and Katy bar the door.   

       "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, are you going to deny the good doctor the millions coming to him? Do you know he has a dog that's very sick? Are you going to kill this poor puppy just so some big business can make millions? Balif, bring in that cute little sick puppy dog."   

       Thank you for the bun by the way, it's all I'd expected to get from this idea and I'm perfectly happy with it.
doctorremulac3, May 11 2023
  
      
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