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There's no reason to watch, much less to go to, a pre-season football game. The stars
quarter or so at half-speed and then a bunch of mullets who will never get beyond five
years on the special teams (if that) comes in. The only drama resides in the fact that
guys are literally
playing for their jobs. Unfortunately for the viewing public, those that
don't make the grade are cut from the team several days after the game.
I propose that they instead be cut then and there, on national tv. If a reciever drops a
pass, out comes a golf cart from the sidelines to whisk him off forthwith to a stadium
parking lot job fair. If a lineman blows an assignment, a black-clad assistant coach
(perhaps done up as the Grim Reaper) could stalk off the sideline, rip the errant
helmet off, cast it to the ground, and set it afire. There could be a little quasi-military,
samurai-type ceremony, maybe even a ritualized seppuku (for players of honor) wishing
atone for a muffed punt or blown coverage. I'm not saying the guy should literally kill
himself, but he should make life easy on the coach and everyone else by setting his own
helmet on fire rather than forcing somebody else to do it for them. Think of the old
veteran gone to seed, realizing he can't cut it anymore, setting his helmet on fire and
walking off the home field to the tearful cheers of one last ovation...
Now *there's* quality tv
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||I hate football. I wish the goblins _would_ come and take it away. Right now.
||Why does this oddly remind me of Stephen King's story, 'The Running Man'? Is this what the world is really coming to? Watch hockey!
||Same here, Centauri. I work across from one of the nests, and it can take me an hour to drive the four miles to get home when the sheep are milling...
||Overweight men in too tight clothing, what more could we ask for as Americans? Centauri, StarChaser, I salute you.
||It could never work.
The logistics are astounding.
Wait a minute, it's called the XFL.
||Better get Bobby Knight in to coach some of these games.
||I have to admit that I only saw it on replays, the sight of those two goofs knocking themselves out running for the quarter or whatever at the beginning of the XFL game was wonderfully amusing...If that had prospects of doing it more often I might actually watch it...
||How about making the cheerleaders run for the ball at the beginning of the game?
||Maybe a mud or cream-corn wrestling match amongst them to determine kick-offs?
||Am I missing something here?