Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Epitaph Wheel of Fortune

The classic gravestone with a "puzzling" twist
 
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In the technological age we live in today, overstimulation brought about by every matter of new media has made the mundane seem even more so, and with that, the average attendance to what are typically very modest and depressing funerals has decreased dramatically. We here at Epitaph Wheel of Fortune provide a means for droll amusement on such lugubrious occasions.

As on the popular game show, people take turns spinning a prize wheel whereupon if their spin does not fall on “Bankrupt” or “Lose a Turn,” they are allowed a chance to guess one of the consonants in the deceased’s epitaph, initially obscured on one of our own patented puzzle-board gravestones® and revealed as players guess the proper letters—vowels, of course, may also be guessed, but at the expense of money won from guessing consonants—and eventually solve the epitaph. For an extra $250, a hooker that sort of looks like Vanna White will be provided to turn the letters.

Babyhead, Jun 15 2004

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