Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Esophageal Off-Ramp

  [vote for,

Most of the fun in eating comes in chewing and tasting the food, and not so much in digesting it.

Instead of stapling the stomach into a small balloon and depriving the patient of the satisfaction of consuming a large meal (not to mention subjecting him to dire risk of bursting or becoming "unstapled"), why not simply divert the food out of the body once it passes the esophagus?

The esophageal off-ramp is a mechanical tube which leads from the bottom of the throat out of the body into an opaque pouch which is worn on the front of the chest. The entranceway to this tube can be switched "open" or "closed" by the patient. Thus he can eat as much as he wants, yet retain full control over what part of it is digested and calorified.

phundug, Jan 28 2004

Gastrostomy tube http://www.umm.edu/...ubeplacement_3.html
No bag needed. Just be sure to chew food well to prevent clogs. [Klaatu, Oct 17 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Cross sectional view of gastrostomy http://connection.l.../cc41figure41-6.jpg
[Klaatu, Oct 17 2004]


       The concept is not entirely without appeal, just mostly. Couldn't you invoke some magic and teleport it elsewhere, like to a hog farm or something?   

       I'm thinking I'm going to see a reduction in my approval rating with one of these on my chest.....
normzone, Jan 28 2004

       //which is worn on the front of the chest// "Mom, why did that man get breast implants?" - "Silly, he's on a diet"
kbecker, Jan 28 2004

       R. Daneel Olivaw in the Caves Of Steel by Asimov.   

       Though of course he was a robot and didn't need to eat.
theircompetitor, Jan 28 2004

       Baked: Bulimia has this one covered
Donit-Donut, Jan 29 2004

       Lick... and SPIT! Lick... and SPIT!
spacecadet, Jan 29 2004

       //Bulimia has this one covered// This device would be socially acceptable while bulimia is considered a disease.
kbecker, Jan 29 2004

       Self-mutilation on a smaller scale could be accomplished with a gastrostomy tube. <link> After eating, you could simply use a 60cc catheter tip syringe to evacuate the gastric contents.   

       Or, you could work with your physician and go on a sensible regimen of proper diet and adequate exercise.
Klaatu, Jan 29 2004

       Just read about a company called Satiety in Business 2.0 -- annoying the link requires membership.   

       The company promises to drastically simplify the surgery by using a tube you insert into the esophagus down to the stomach -- it then grabs the sides and "staples" them.
theircompetitor, Jan 29 2004

       I don't know what spacecadet is doing..
swamilad, Jan 30 2004

       How about taking this one stage further: use the offtake bag as a storage device, with the ability to release nutrients slowly over time.   

       No more need to have boring, regular meals. Just splurge two or three times a week at your favourite high-class restaurant and never go hungry again   

       (reminds me of something I read about an animal species where the female retains sperm after sex for several days or weeks ... until she is ready to ovulate, then releases it at precisely the right moment!)
Donit-Donut, Jan 30 2004

       //bulimia is considered as a disease// the disease is the psychological requirement for extremes of self-indulgence and self-punishment ... manifesting itself in compulsive & irrational binge-ing and purging.   

       The method used is, however, a perfectly rational if rather unpleasant approach to compensating for the fact that our bodies have not yet evolved a mechanism to cope with excess calories ... which is why I reckon we already have this one covered
Donit-Donut, Jan 30 2004

       ///(reminds me of something I read about an animal species where the female retains sperm after sex for several days or weeks ... until she is ready to ovulate, then releases it at precisely the right moment///   

       I'll bet that fertility specialists are glad that humans can't do that.
Macwarrior, Feb 20 2004


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