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Evaluation by Dunk Tank

Bring the carnival to work! Unless you work at the carnival, in which case you should probably think of a better summary, cuz I sure as hell ain't gonna do it.
  (+25, -3)(+25, -3)(+25, -3)
(+25, -3)
  [vote for,

While reading longshot9999's "evaluation by dagger" idea, it occurred to me that the workplace is extremely hostile and is in desperate need of lightening up. Hey, that sounds like a soda, "Lightning Up," the world's MOST EXTREME electric beverage! It'll FUCK YOU UP!

But I digest.

Rather than encourage the throwing of knives, shooting of guns, or strangling of clowns, I think the proper way to address the world's increasing hostility towards work is not with anger release, but emotional transfer. Is that a real term? Whatever, doesn't matter. I think I heard a doctor say it in... the... Mall?

Underneath every manager's chair is a trap door leading to a dunk tank. The --wow, I just found out you can hold "Ctrl" when you hit backspace to delete a whole word-- office will hold once-a-week/month meetings (time and day unknown to management) to decide if any boss is up for getting dunkdafied.

Once the boss(es) has/have been chosen, everyone gathers in the accurate-yet-poorly-named "room that's only for used for the dunk tank. Except for that time Dean and Marci got busy in here during lunch," where a few monitors are mounted, each with a photo of the corresponding manager to whom it is assigned to watch, and a target on the wall a few feet under each monitor. None of them are active until a key is turned next to the target, at which point the monitor shows the manager sitting in his office looking at porn or eating a Snicker's with a knife and fork.

For the low price of $1, employees are given 3 baseballs to throw at the target. Everyone gets to enjoy the show on the monitor when someone hits the target and said manager drops into his own personal dunk tank, either pissing him off or making him laugh. Hopefully not the first one.

If fate dictates that the boss isn't present, that's okay. The trap door is weight sensitive and won't drop unless there's a person on it. Everyone can return to work, and when the trap door detects his return, the camera records for 5 seconds before dropping the victim into the CLUTCHES OF HELL, and this video clip is then e-mailed to all the employees for enjoyment.

Boss' desks and computers are firmly held into place to prevent cheating, and they are given free lunch for a week if they get dunked, so it isn't all bad, but they'll get the point that employees are frustrated with them.
AfroAssault, Apr 14 2005

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       This is an AWESOME idea.   

       [AfroAssault], you are truly a Master Baker, and an artist of the word as well. [+]
disbomber, Apr 14 2005

       Not so much "Punish those who do X," but since many workplaces involve some type of review of co-workers/bosses/underlings, this would make for an interesting way to tell people they need to change their attitude. I doubt it would work well in a fancy business like a law firm or McDonald's, but it would probably go over pretty well in a (sorta) casual business environment.
AfroAssault, Apr 14 2005

       AfroAssault, you've obviously never seen a Southern California law firm. (I interned at a law firm here in San Diego once. Woah! I had to dress *down* from my school clothes.)
disbomber, Apr 14 2005

       Been playing the HalfBakery drinking game again [Afro]?
hidden truths, Apr 14 2005

       But bosses ALWAYS sit in carpeted rooms, so then you'd have to pay carpet cleaning.
croissantz, Apr 14 2005

       Mere details +
skinflaps, Apr 14 2005

       Go Afro!
DesertFox, Apr 14 2005

       [+] and wondering when AfroAssault will finally get his own TV show....
sophocles, Apr 14 2005

       [AA], friggin stupid albeit fucking awesome idea, and I should have to pay for that kind of entertainment reading your thoughts scrambled drunk hungover on the screen.
daseva, Apr 14 2005

       Dean and Marci? I had no idea.
[+] for anonymity.
yabba do yabba dabba, Apr 14 2005

       Beautifully written. I think Evaluation by Drunk Tank has similar potential.
Worldgineer, Apr 14 2005

       [+] for style, [+] for content, [+] for deviation, repetition and the other one. But since I can give only one, let it be for Dean and Marci. I can't believe I spent all that time with her on the photocopier at the office party.
moomintroll, Apr 14 2005

       Transferrence and counter-transferrence but "emotional transfer" gets the point across, fuzzily.
bristolz, Apr 14 2005

       //[+] for deviation, repetition and the other one.//
Hesitation. But I don't think it applies.
gnomethang, Apr 14 2005

       Coming up next week - " Evaluation by Drunk Tank ".   

       Executives are placed in a small cell, and judged on their social skills by the inhabitants.
normzone, Apr 14 2005

       //Every time someone makes a joke about [AfroAssault]'s drunkenness, take a drink.//   

       Tip it back, folks!
disbomber, Apr 17 2005

       At Jeep, certain employees won the right to sling pies at the executive engineering VP and his cronies.
RayfordSteele, Apr 20 2005

       I can't believe I missed this idea by <quickly counting on fingers> 7 days. It's a great idea! In my office it's just me and my boss, so he'll get it every time! Lovely.
Machiavelli, Apr 20 2005

       I can't believe I'm not working at Jeep yet.
hidden truths, Apr 21 2005


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