Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Clearly this is a metaphor for something.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Extreme Self Esteem Syndrome

When HSSS (High Sense of Self-Satisfaction) is not good enough
(+5, -5)
  [vote for,

It seems that these days it is fashionable to have some sort of quirky illness. No longer are Scurvey, Rickets, Jaundice, and Beri-beri popular enough..they have been replaced by things like ADD, Dance Fever, Achy Breaky Pelvis, Juggler's Remorse, and Chocaholism.

But what happens when you feel quite well and still want an illness? Yes, it's time for ESES! The disease for those who are too arrogant to bother with getting a real illness.

Symptoms: Cockiness

Cure: None known

Medication: Wine and song

Will get you out of: Having a job or a significant other

sleeka, Nov 21 2005

English slang and colloquialisms used in the United Kingdom http://www.peevish.co.uk/slang/index.htm
[ldischler, Nov 21 2005]

National Quality Measures Clearinghouse http://www.qualitym...s/measure_name.aspx
Naming conventions [reensure, Nov 21 2005]


       Plumbus oscillans   

       as old as the hills...
po, Nov 21 2005

       Y'know, [po], Google doesn't provide a very satisfying answer to an inquiry about what "plumbus oscillans" might be. Just that it is English slang for "swinging the lead". Is that a reference to lead shot, as in a blackjack or sap? a lead pipe? a dog's leash? an actor's role? management responsibilities? race positions? twirling dance partners?   

       What's the connection between ESES and any of these possible interpretations for "plumbus oscillans"? Inquiring minds want to know.
jurist, Nov 21 2005

       //But what happens when you feel quite well and still want an illness?// tell your employer you have this when you are quite well but want sympathy / a day off woik.   

       not too sure where *swinging the lead* comes from, either. is it a UK phrase only?   


       "Incidentally, the expression 'He's swinging the lead' comes from days before sonar was used to detect under keel depth. A man was placed forward and swung a lead weight with a length of rope. A difficult and tiring task, so seamen would often be seen from aft 'swinging the lead' instead of actually letting go"   

       jurist, I found this for you!
po, Nov 21 2005

       Thanks for that, [po]. So it's a "Mark Twain" sort of thing.   

       The only references I was finding indicated that it was a British medical slang term for "policeman's lesion", which might have suggested over-exuberant use of a leather-covered blackjack. That could indicate an Irish origin to the current usage of the phrase, I guess.   

       I'm still not clear what either "plumbus oscillans" or "swinging the lead" might have to do with this idea, unless that's just the euphemistic British version of our "slinging the bull". But I'm guessing that you just mean it as a handy obfuscatory catchall phrase of Pandoran ailments. First time I've heard it used that way on this side of the pond.
jurist, Nov 21 2005

       blimey mate! your prose is magnificent and if I interpret you correctly - its not a real ailment, its a false one. much as I read into the one featured in the idea.
po, Nov 21 2005

       I got a swell thesaurus for my birthday.
jurist, Nov 21 2005

       oh, have a hug for the big day!
po, Nov 21 2005

       My self-esteem was flagging. I must have needed that. Thanks.
jurist, Nov 21 2005

       Can't vote on this [sleeka]. I'm suffering from HOIS.
wagster, Nov 21 2005

       Darn. I'm only one bun away from breaking even. I hope HOIS is not as bad as "having a case of the Mondays", ala Office Space.
sleeka, Nov 21 2005

       It's terrible. Halfbakery Overload Indecision Syndrome can severely compromise your ability to cast meaningful votes. A holiday is the only known cure.
wagster, Nov 21 2005

       I don't like this. True diseases (and even BS syndromes), if not specifically attributed to researchers (eponymic), are subject to nomenclature by condition, system(s) affected, symptom(s), and diagnosis or diagnoses, not merely placing one's acronym after the BS required to establish an obvious disorder.   

       You can, for instance, have:
Condition: Chronic
System Affected: Libidinal
Symptom: Urge
Diagnosis: Irreversibility

       Or, you can name the condition after me. You may get excused from work if you are receiving treatment for the symptoms, and you risk nothing. At least, you risk nothing like what you risk called off work for actualizing your inner dear sloth (catching up after a night of tossing and turning).
reensure, Nov 21 2005

       I dont get it.
JesusHChrist, Nov 22 2005

       It's a disease that does not really exist, but that you can still claim to have in certain situations. Maybe it will help get you out of trouble. Example:   

       Girl - "ummm...why are you still talking to me?"   

       Me - "sorry. I have ESES."   

       Or you can choose to go with ESES's weaker sibling disease, MSES:   

       "Hey, why do you get the tall ladder and I get the short one?"   

       "I guess I'm just making up for my Mediocre Self Esteem Syndrom."
sleeka, Nov 22 2005

       Do delusions of grandeur count as ESES?
JesusHChrist, Nov 23 2005

       I believe they would, yes.
sleeka, Nov 23 2005

       'Swinging the Lead' is, like a lot of English slang, an old nautical term. They used to measure the depth of the water below the ship by having a bloke drop a lead weight on a rope over the side. This job was accounted a bit easier than spending your time scrubbing the deck, patching leaks or swinging around in the rigging and was often assigned to somebody who was unfit for more strenuous duties. Hence 'swinging the lead' came to be associated with being a bit workshy.
DrBob, Nov 23 2005

       thats not *quite* what I quoted in an earlier anno, DrBob.
po, Nov 23 2005

       Oh yes. So you didn't! Must have scrolled past that one.
DrBob, Nov 23 2005


       I want to have this when the weather outside the office is great. I just need to convince my boss that the only cure is sitting outside on a terrace having a beer.
spekkie, Nov 23 2005

       My favourite fake disease is the man who went to a doctor and asked for a sick-note to get off work. The doctor gave him a note which read:   

       "Subject had a severe case of levergy"
Germanicus, Nov 23 2005

       Ah Chu. Sorry. Bloody great furball...
The Kat, Nov 23 2005

       //levergy// Do you mean *lethargy*, perhaps?
jurist, Nov 23 2005

       //"Incidentally, the expression 'He's swinging the lead' comes from days before sonar was used to detect under keel depth. A man was placed forward and swung a lead weight with a length of rope. A difficult and tiring task, so seamen would often be seen from aft 'swinging the lead' instead of actually letting go" // Having swung lead as a boy, I can tell you it's both pretty easy and very intrinsic to sounding with a leadline, and isn't goofing off. One swings the lead line with the lead at the end of the line, but only letting out enough line so that the lead doesn't hit the water, as one stands near the front of the boat, to the side. Then one lets it go as it swings forward. this is done when the boat's moving forward, hence the water's moving aft. If you just dropped it straight down, by the time it hit bottom you'd be past it, and so couldn't get ameasure straight down with the leadline. By casting it in front of the boat by swinging it, the lead hits bottom before or as one gets above it, so mild tension on the leadline as it plays out will keep the leadline straight and vertical as one passes over it, so one can read off how many fathoms deep the lead is by looking at the flag tied to the leadline every fathom and reading it's number. (Whew, I won't have guessed it would take me so many words to explain that.)
briancady413, Oct 28 2014


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle