Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Extreme UTC Time Zones

I don't know if it makes sense but ok
  [vote for,

In the Pacific Ocean the same ‘vertical space’ on a map contains different time zones, islands not far from each other live 24 hours apart. Time to take this to its illogical conclusion – Extreme Time Zones!

Continuing on from UTC-12 and UTC+14 are UTC+15, UTC+16, UTC+17… UTC-13, UTC-14, UTC-15, etc. etc. they overlap until in every zone you can skip or go back a whole day, and more. (see illustration below) E.G. if you’re in Senegal, revisit last week in UTC-168 or fast-forward to next month by changing to UTC+744.

Dates are no longer resigned to the history books – you can perform new acts and hold events on past dates, or beat everyone to it by making your mark in the year 5000. Miss a deadline? Wasted years of your life? Simply change time zone and voila! You’re there again. Leap time zone every 24 hours for as many chances as you like to hone the perfect date. Likewise, try out different possibilities for your future. Don’t like it, go back to UTC+0 and try again.

Maybe a user-run website something like wikipedia can keep track of all the new events happening throughout time. Citation needed though!!

Go on a family holiday to prehistoric times from the comfort of your living room. Sure it might not look the same, but it’s the same time… parents! Get creative with caveman costumes and sabre-tooth pet cats. Who will be the first person to travel the entire course of history? Visit famous dates – get your time zone passport stamped in participating museums and collect them all.

Parents! Compete for the world’s oldest offspring by giving birth in UTC-quadrillion and insist your child spends the rest of their life in UTC+quattuordecillion or worse.

Romantics! Inscribe your love on the same tree for a hundred centuries. Propose by writing in rock a thousand years ago, then reveal it as destiny. Why not live on every valentine’s day at the same time?? Because the time zones overlap, if you can keep track of it no-one’s stopping you from living in multiple time zones at once. It could be Valentine’s, Christmas, Halloween, New Year, April Fools and International Peace Day forever if you wish. What a life! Or dwell in darkness on days like the outbreak of wars, natural disasters and the loss of loved ones. Some people spend every day on their birthday. Will you get sick of them? …not if they spent every day on YOUR birthday! What a sweet, kind friend.

Some people prefer to only leap time zones when asleep. It feels more authentic, like an unlimited Groundhog Day. It’s important to change your calendars and clocks to reflect your new time zone, so you can really wake up embodying your future self, or balance out a bad day from your childhood by going to Disney World.

Maybe it’s a slippery slope but some time zones could be restricted, like those landing on famous political dates. Maybe they can lawfully only be visited on guided tours to prevent the addition of disrespectful events. Some time zones could be purchased and reserved by lofty corporations to do their business there for no reason. Buildings and monuments can travel continuously back through time zones to keep associated with specific days.

But I don’t know if it’s better to think of the time zones on separate dates or if everything just happens on the same day.... :D Happy birthday everyone, including the universe!!!

Treejuice, Nov 26 2017

Extreme UTC Time Zones map for 1/1/2018 https://typingthisw...xtremetimezones.jpg
illustration of the idea [Treejuice, Nov 26 2017]

Hmmm, seems a little familiar, not that I'm saying anything, mind you Statute_20of_20limi...20escape_20holidays
[not_morrison_rm, Nov 30 2017]

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       "I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance." (Steven Wright)
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 26 2017

       I guess that sums it up pretty nicely :D
Treejuice, Nov 26 2017

       Would these time zones go up in a spiral? So latitudes would be divided as well as longitudes. The equator could be set at 0 (modern) time, whilst going north puts you in the future and going south in the past. This could be sold as a way for the north of England to leapfrog London, putting us years ahead of the southerners. The spirals would (naturally) follow the golden spiral, reaching infinite time travel levels at the poles.
Selky, Nov 26 2017

       haha, yes you could do that Selky, that could be a good way of organising it and giving each time zone a physical space! but I also like the idea of being able to go to any time, anywhere xD
Treejuice, Nov 26 2017

       Here in the UK, we use a system of daylight savings time. In the autumn the clocks go back, and everyone is grateful for the extra hour of sleep; in the spring the clocks go forward, and everyone moans that they've lost an hour.   

       I've suggested in the past that we could avoid this annual disappointment by putting the clocks back an hour in the spring, too, instead of forward.   

       Maybe your Extreme UTC Time Zones will make it practical to do this while still retaining something that resembles a useful calendar.
Wrongfellow, Nov 27 2017

       I feel like there is a flipping component to this theory. If I am in UTC -24, then I am in also in UTC 0.   

       Mathematically; time is all used up at the end of the day, burned like wood in the fire. The calculation is not based on a universal state, but only ever on subjective ones. It comes, like wind, in 4 foot chunks. So every ten million chunks, God has to throw in ten million more logs. Just to keep things going. But you only ever get ash; you never get more logs.   

       I looked at your map; normally they incarcerate people like you, throwing away the key etc., but it's a very positive concept you have going; they should probably put you in a very comfortable cell, padded floor and ceiling.
mylodon, Nov 27 2017

       Tomorrow, and yesterday, and last Thursday creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time...
RayfordSteele, Nov 27 2017

pertinax, Nov 28 2017

       //Turmoil// Not worth the money, mate. In any case, turms are endangered.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 28 2017

       ^^^^^^^^^^^ Conundrum Alert whoop whoop whoop etc   

       "The earliest known reference to French toast is in the Apicius, a collection of Latin recipes dating to the 4th or 5th ..." when France wasn't called France at the time...
not_morrison_rm, Nov 30 2017

       Was France invented by someone French, and were they French at the time? Who would have so much Gaul to do such a thing? And which timezone were they in?
RayfordSteele, Nov 30 2017

       Maybe they called the country after the toast. Seems reasonable.   

       Little known fact : America is named after the Sioux phrase ahm-aric-aa, meaning "hot dog".   

       (okay, actually "a starving wolf would piss on that" ; translation software was still in its infancy)
FlyingToaster, Nov 30 2017


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