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Eyeballs on Stalks

All the cool aliens have them - and now, so can you!
  [vote for,

Well, not exactly "you" as such, but maybe your children.

Some tribes are known for lengthening their necks by wearing rings which slowly stretch them over many years, starting during childhood.

I propose to apply this principle to the optic nerve. At an early age, a small ring is fitted around the nerve at the point where it joins the eyeball. As the child ages, more rings are slowly added, until the day occurs when the eyeballs can be popped completely free of the skull.

At this point the rings are removed and replaced with a short section of the "gooseneck" material used for microphone stands. This section continues to be gradually lengthened over time.

In this manner, once you reach adulthood, you will have fully-fledged eyeballs on stalks!

The many practical benefits of this idea include:

- The ability to look in two directions at once.

- The ability to bend your eyes completely round to the back of your head, just so that you can have eyes "in" (kinda) the back of your head.

- The ability to point your eyes directly at each other, so that you can look yourself in the eye without needing a mirror.

- For the fashion-conscious, the endless potential for accessorizing by clipping all manner of glitzy LED- illuminated thingies to the stalk just behind the eyeball.

- The promise of do-it-yourself colonoscopies.

Wrongfellow, Oct 19 2018

Skayan Lahwi women http://aussie55.wee...-lahwi-women-burma#
great pics actually that illustrate the ability of parts of the human anatomy to be extended. [xenzag, Oct 19 2018]

[1] How Much the Eye Tells the Brain https://www.science...i/S0960982206016393
Koch et al, 2006. Abstract only mentions guinea pig result [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]

[2] Penn researchers calculate how much the eye tells the brain https://www.eurekal.../uops-prc072606.php
Press release about [1], which mentions an estimate for human [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]

[3] Conduction velocity, size and distribution of optic nerve axons in the turtle, Pseudemys scripta elegans https://www.ncbi.nl....gov/pubmed/3740459
Woodbury & Ulinski, 1986 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]

[4] Decreased nerve conduction velocity in optic nerve following early post-natal low-dose lead exposure https://www.ncbi.nl....gov/pubmed/2082713
Conradi, Sjöström, Gustafsson, & Wigström, 1990 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]

[5] Dynamic Modulation of Myelination in Response to Visual Stimuli Alters Optic Nerve Conduction Velocity https://www.ncbi.nl...gov/pubmed/27358452
Exteberria et al, 2016 [notexactly, Nov 08 2018]


       I'm amazed no one's already done this
hippo, Oct 19 2018

       I just wish someone would invent some automatic capture device which could be put on stalks instead of my childrens' eyeballs.
4and20, Oct 19 2018

       This is possibly the best idea ever.   

MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 19 2018

       I forsee a couple of problems with this.
doctorremulac3, Oct 19 2018

       at the same time, lengthen the tongue for cleansing the eyeballs.
po, Oct 19 2018

       The nerve of some people...   

       I would think the optics on this idea would be poor...
Canuck, Oct 21 2018

       I wonder what the baud rate of the optic nerve is, and how much signal delay an additional few inches would be.
RayfordSteele, Oct 21 2018

       ^ hehe. He said 'baud rate'.
bigsleep, Oct 22 2018

       nice one [po]
wjt, Oct 27 2018

       I can't see this catching on.
blissmiss, Oct 27 2018

       //I can't see this catching on.// You've never been to a buffet lunch in Saudi, have you, [bliss]?
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 27 2018

       //I can't see this catching on.//   

       Time to add another ring?   

       She's probably never been in a Turkish prison, either.
RayfordSteele, Oct 29 2018

       Don't those women actually end up with lowered shoulders instead of elongated necks?   

       // I wonder what the baud rate of the optic nerve is //   

       8.75 Mb/s for guinea pig [1], ~10 Mb/s for human [2].   

       // how much signal delay an additional few inches would be //   

       That obviously depends on how fast the signal travels. In red-eared turtles, it's 1, 3, or 13 m/s depending on axon diameter (with different diameters going to different places in the brain and presumably carrying different types of data) [3]. In rats there are also three groups of axons, with the faster of the two conducting at 5.4 and 16.8 m/s in normal rats, vs. 5.8 and 10.3 in rats given a low dose of lead early in life and 5.2 and 9.4 in rats given a higher dose [4]. Also, apparently it changes with myelination, which itself changes based on what visual stimuli the eyes are exposed to [5].
notexactly, Nov 08 2018

       I have a theory, well, not a theory and more of a guess, about the eyestalks of slugs and snails. These appendages are ways of presenting the eyes, together with an olfactory sensory pair, with an advantageously high point of view and wide spacing. However, I suspect they also have an element of functionality as a kind of antenna, much like a radio antenna, but not using radio energy as we know it. Similarly with insect antenna. Moth antenna are complex (in about three different forms – feather, taper, clubbed, whereas the more evolved butterfly has only the clubbed form (except for skippers, which are the most moth-like of the butterflies and have tapered antenna)). Generally the antenna of moths are thought to be pheromone sensors, and indeed they are, but I suspect there is an additional or overloaded use in all insects as an antenna in the radio-like energy sense.
Ian Tindale, Nov 08 2018

       This idea could go very well with the one encouraging you pr brain cells to grow outside of your skull. Consider the volume taken up by your eyeballs and how much additional grey matter that could yield, with a ready-made access port.
RayfordSteele, Nov 09 2018


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